Ask Max Monday: MERRY CHRISTMAS DOODS!

December 24, 2012 |

Twas the day before Christmas and all through the house
The kitty was hoping for something bigger than a mouse.

The tree which had wonderfully sat on the floor
Was lopsided now, the ornaments, well, no more.

The lights that were on it were off and cold
And the wires chewed just so by the best and the bold.

The stockings that hung on the fireplace so neat
Were shredded now, ‘cause he’d looked for a treat.

The people were ticked off, pointy fingers pointed out
While they stuttered and stammered and tried not to shout.

They pulled on their hairs, they attempted to say
“What’d you do? What the heck? Oh for… What the hey?”

The tree, it did mock me, the kitty replies
Its blinking lights blinking offended my eyes!

Not a thing with my name was under that tree
Not a present, not a gift bag; there was nothing for me.

“But Santa…but SANTA!” the person did say
And she huffed and she puffed and stomped, stomped away.

‘I forgot about him, the kitty,’ he pondered
Then he looked at his mess, and he sighed and he wondered

“Could Santa pretend I was not out of line
And presume I engaged in some feline design?”

He knew Santa was cool and was never a jerk
And Santa would admire the depth of this work.

“No worries to worry,” the kitty did think
As he turned to his fountain and got him a drink.

A nap he would take, dream of cheese, maybe gouda
And when Santa came…well, he’d just have to blame Buddah.

As he drifted off in a satisfied haze,
In his thinks he thought, “Doods, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”

Category: 0 - Featured, Ask Max Monday, Last Week

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003 Max is the author of three books, "The PsychoKitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat," its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death," and "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats."

Comments (11)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. sue brandes says:

    Loved that. Merry Christmas.

  2. Penelope says:

    Bwaa! Haa! Haa! Does yous think that would work for me…Blaming my brother?
    Kisses
    Nellie

  3. Dood! Brilliant plan …. I mean, poem!
    DMM

  4. Shadow Dance Ranch Kittehs says:

    Love it! Sounds like our house for sure. Merry Christmas, Max and family.

  5. Spookyshorty says:

    love this ’twas night before chrispmouse

  6. Spookyshorty says:

    love this ’twas night before chrispmouse

  7. Spookyshorty says:

    love this ’twas night before chrispmouse

  8. Spunky says:

    Dood, you’re an awesome poet! Love it, hope everyone had a Furry Crispmouse!

    Spunky

  9. wow dood … yer a poet!
    dat wuz grate. it makez me wanna rite a poem fer noo yeerz …
    stay tooned.
    luv–yer frend–jh

  10. TRIPPER says:

    HAY MAX HOW MUCH REEL LIVE FRESH DED KRAB CAN I EAT BEEFORE MY BELLY IXPLODES AND MY GUTZ SPRAY ALL OVER THE WALLS CUZ THATS WHY MY LADEY WONT GIVE ME ANY MORE AND I THINK SHE JUST WANTS TO KEEP IT ALL TO HERSELF.

  11. Mighty Kitty says:

    Dear Max,How do I help my older brother to learn how to play again? My brother O’Cat is older than I am but he has actually “forgotten” how to play! He is 11 years old and how do I help him find the fun there is to be had in life? He gets spoiled like I do but he needs to play more. What can our mom do to help him? I think he has been here for so many cats that he just thinks that he has to be the responsible one that makes it all run in our house! Mom says she would be happy to see him get into more mischief! Jameson

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers