I’ve had a set-back, nice/naughty list-wise. But I managed a single jump triple ricochet dog-Woman-Man half gainer to the floor on the other side of the bed! At 4am. But, dood, it was awesome! Then I kinda got caught on the counter where I *know* I’m not supposed to be, but something up there smelled interesting, like I might want it. But my hoomins aren’t thrilled with me today.
How can I make this up without actually being nice to them, before they report me to Santa?
No worries, dood. Santa is a really good guy, and he knows people well enough to understand that they are ripe with hyperbolic tendencies, so he tends to take what they say at slightly less than face value. They could tell him everything you did, and he’ll just assume they mean, “Oh, Brat Cat got on the counter,” and he would think to himself, “Well…so? You own bleach, don’t you? Just clean the farking counter and get over it!”
Really, he would, because Santa is all about personal responsibility and cleaning up kitty funk. He knows what’s up, and what’s up is that cats will get on things people don’t really want them to, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s harmless if some basic hygiene is in practice.
And if he believed it about the single jump triple ricochet dog-Woman-Man half gainer, dood, he’s just gonna be impressed. So no worries. Santa won’t leave you hanging.
Hi Max. I hope you can help me. I served my cats (Ari and Diana) expensive canned tuna today cause we were out of canned cat food. Guess what-they turned up their noses and refused to even taste it! I am talking about the uber expensive extra tasty stuff that I bought as a special treat. what is wrong with my kitties? I thought all kitties loved tuna .No, the can wasn’t expired either. what do you think?
Clearly, you served it to them wrong. With tuna, it’s very important to drain the liquid from the can and offer that to the kitties first. Kitties love tuna water. Once they have sampled the water, you must then get a clean crystal plate or serving bowl, and fork-flake the tuna into a desirable and palatable texture. If you did not properly fork-flake the tuna, or served it on some peasant-like cheap plate, of course the kitties will turn their noses up, because it was just all…wrong.
Or maybe they just don’t like tuna. I don’t like salmon, and my people think I’m odd for that.
But really? I bet you served it up 3 different wrong ways. And now you owe them a special treat. Steak might appease and soothe their hurt feelings.
Max, whut duz STFU meen?
Share Thy Funky Underpants
Would I lie to you?