We have a couple of cat bloggers today who are not afraid to tackle the hard questions and to speak their mind. But lest you misunderstand “make up” in the title, Bugs and Barney do not wear make up. Neither is their blog fiction. (Well, maybe just a smidge.) But Catself is the blog of Bugs and Barney and make up sounds a tad more interesting and mysterious than co-own or co-blog at Catself.
Funny Farmer Felines: Would you introduce yourselves and your Staff to everyone?
Bugs: Certainly. My name is Bougarabou O. Hooligan. In a weak moment, I hired Staff in November 2009. The terms of her employment are under review. She means well, I suppose. But her legal background is a formidable handicap. Time will tell.
Funny Farmer Felines: You have quite a long, interesting name, Bugs. How did your Staff come up with it? Do you have any other nicknames?
Bugs: Well, see this is what I mean. In Staff’s off-hours, she likes to bang on the skins of dead goats from Africa. You can imagine. She specially loves a drum called a bougarabou. She heard that rhythm when I ran around the wood floors. See? Bougarabou –> Bugs. I don’t mind the O. Hooligan part. That is in line with my poetic Irish roots. But nicknames? I will not discuss them. [sniffs] They are cringe-making.
Funny Farmer Felines: What about you, Barney? You also have a long, interesting name. Any other nicknames?
Barney: Hey how you doin’. My full hook is Barnabus M. Filibuster. Barnum and Bailey? My people. Yankee circus impresarios, came South with the carpetbaggers. I feel my full name, in all its glory, captures the proper 19th-century flavor.
My nickname is “Bawnes” or “Bawney,” with the vowel sounding like how Noo Yeeawkis say “cooawfee” for that black stuff you drink. Evidently I remind Staff of some purple dinosaur character? And how her little niece used to say it, when she couldn’t meow properly? I mean fun’s fun but…
Funny Farmer Felines: How did you two come to live together?
Bugs: Under protest. I was and I remain First Feline in this domain. My brother Fang was lost to the Bridge and Staff couldn’t cope. So she brought in Barney. Why is completely beyond me.
Barney: I was doing fine with my Foster-Staff until current Staff wrenched me away from my happy home. Never mind. I myself have sufficient resources to cope. I doubt Bugs does, but there it is. For my people, the show must go on.
Funny Farmer Felines: Is there a special ladycat in your life or are you playing the field?
Bugs: I am a celibate monk. I contemplate the passing of the hours. I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Barney: My fan base is continually expanding. There’s a sucker born every minute.
Funny Farmer Felines: What is your favorite color …. toy … day of the week? (Yes, some have a favorite day of the week cause something special happens that day.)
Bugs: My favorite day of the week is the present moment. My favorite color is the color of my habit, which is gray. Toys? I merely lick them. On rare occasions.
Barney: I’m pretty much easy. If it doesn’t suit, I chew it to death.
Funny Farmer Felines: Every kitty likes to get into mischief.. What kind of mischief do you get into? Separately or together?
Bugs: I do not do things together. My favorite mischief is to torment Staff by being my cool contemplative self and, when she finds my elevated reserve impossible to resist, I walk away. She must learn that sorrow is part of life.
Barney: My favorite mischief is to chew things to death, any things, doesn’t matter how cherished. The more cherished, the more entertainment value.
Funny Farmer Felines: Bugsy… um, sorry, Bugs, you were in show business for a short time, appearing last year in Katie & Glogirly’s Season Three, of the hit series Real Housecats of the Blogosphere. We’re wondering how the publicity and adoration of the public has affected you. Did it go to your head or are you still the same modest and unassuming (hehehe) kitty you always were? Barney, are you thinking of following in Bugs’ pawsteps?
Bugs: Show-business? I leave such demi-mondaine divergences to Barney. The Real Housecats project got dropped, I believe. I myself never deigned to notice, but now you mention it, I can see utility to the loss – Staff needs to learn that the meaning of life is other than publicity and public adoration.
Barney: I start with “B” and that rhymes with “T” and that stands for Trouble. Trouble, oh, people, we got trouble! I need not follow in Bugs’ pawsteps. We got trouble right here in River City.
Funny Farmer Felines: Do you belong to any clubs or groups? And does your Staff help you participate in any of the blogging events, such as Talk like a pirate day, LiveStrong, Box Day, etc?
Bugs: I believe this topic will be addressed in the performance review. Staff has omitted to participate in any of these things and we belong to no recognizable clubs or groups.
Barney: Yeah. I gotta agree with brother Bugs. Staff occasionally brings in other members of her species but all they do is mouth about something called “Nonviolent Communication.” I try to introduce Trouble into these meetings but they are beyond help.
Funny Farmer Felines: Do you have any special plans for the future of your blog?
Bugs: The future is a figment of delusional prognostication.
Barney: Well – only Staff can say. And she ain’t talkin’. Confidentially between you and me, the future does not look rosy. She keeps on about something called the bar exam? I have no idea. It doesn’t sound good.
Funny Farmer Felines: What do you like and dislike about blogging?
Bugs: I do not deign to notice this “blogging” thing you are talking about.
Barney: I’m OK with blogging because Staff seems happier with it. I incredibly don’t like the amount of trouble-time this takes away from me.
Funny Farmer Felines: What advice would you give to anyone just starting a blog?
Barney: Do it by all means. Blogging has transformed our Staff into a barely acceptable being who is slowly coming to terms with the primacy of Felines in the planetary scheme. The trade-off is worth it. Staff needs the comfort and support of her fellow-sufferers. Whatever. If you fellow Felines out there have any ideas to help our situation over here, dew drop in with a pee-mail. Appreciate the help. Trouble calls. Gotta go. Out.
Percy: Bugs, Barney, wait. We made fresh dead canned salmon patties and nip tea for you. Guys? We can pack it to go!
Funny Farmer Felines: Well, as you can tell, Bugs and Barney are busy, busy, busy. We’re grateful they were able to spare the time to stop by and give us an exclusive on what their Staff is planning. We’re not sure what a “bar exam” is, but it sounds serious.
We enjoyed getting to know them a little better. Stop by Catself to meet Bugs and Barney or just to say hello.
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