Alfie the Social Siamese

feline-funny-farmer-friday

Today we have the loveable and outspoken Alfie from the blog Mollie and Alfie. Mollie is not a cat; she is a woofie, well-known for her bra collection. Mollie is the spokesdog for Alfie the cat, so we have included Mollie in our graphic today but our interview is with Alfie who hails from the United Kingdom and has a thick accent. Don’t worry, though, Alfie speaks English.

Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your family.

Alfie: I’m Alfie aka Gaylord. I am a colour point so I have Siamese in me, I don’t’z shut up’z! From the time I get up (apart from when Im’z sleeping) I am vocal.. I always’z hear… “put that bloody… uh, lovely cat out”

I live with a dumb Blond ( DOG ) called Mollie and my Humom and Dad. I have brushed up on my Englizh for this interview, az I am sure you can tell’z. Im’z 8, Mollie’s 3, Humom iz 100 and Dad iz 110.

Funny Farmer Felines: How did you all come to live together?

Alfie: Well’z Humom and Dad were already’z in the houze when’z I turned up az a stray’z. smelling’z like an alley Rat! After’z she’z baffed mez and had me tagged and mez nutt’z manlyhood’z removed’z I waz leader’z of the family’z. Had dem eatin outta mez paw’z. Till that 7 week’z old Blond turned up’z.. Oh she waz going’z too’z the Bimbo houze in the sky’z, coz being’z Blond, the farmer didnt’z want’z her. ( They can’t see her amongzt the sheep ) So in’z jump’z Humom saving’z the day’z. And’z that’z how Stoopid came’z to live’z wiff mez!

Funny Farmer Felines: Alfie and Mollie, you are the “two Blonds of Blogville.” How did you get this title?

Alfie: Oh dat’z wasn’t’z uz..That’z waz Blogville’z! Being’z boff Blond, they’z called uz dat. Seem’z it’z stuck

Funny Farmer Felines: Mollie is well-known for her bra collection. If we remember correctly, you auctioned one to help raise funds to send an award winning blogger to BlogPaws this year. Did the blogger get to go?

Alfie: Nothing’z to doo’z wiff Mez. Yez, she haz a collection’z of undie’z. ( How’z I wood’z lub’z to get my paw’z on dem. ) She haz her own drawer and she will go get one out for a sausage. (OK, I’ll dress up for thuna.)

Nahh, it waz such a shame’z az due too’z family problem’z, she had’z to back out’z. Hope she get’z there next year.

Funny Farmer Felines: Alfie, the Tabbies O Trout Towne described you two as, “Mollie be de pup who NEVER lets Alfie haza say!!” And they’re correct. You don’t say much on the blog. Mollie does most of the talking. And posing. What’s up, are you shy or does Mollie push you out of the picture?

Alfie: Oh she’z got the gift of the Gab. I tell’z her what’z to say’z. She juzt say’z it better’z than I could’z ( Dont’z tell’z her dat. )

Funny Farmer Felines: You two seem to have a love / hate relationship on the blog. But how do you two get along in real life, when there’s no camera around and it’s just the two of you discussing your shop?

Alfie: It iz what youz see’z. Sumtime’z wez cuddled up’z, ( Don’t’z tell her butt’z I wouldn’t want’z to be wiffout her. Youz neffer heard’z that frum Mez, right? ) Next time’z wez playing’z, then wez decide to kill’z each uffer. Humom always’z spoil’z it, juzt when’z I have a good wappy on’z, she get’z the cream’z out. No one’z werff killing’z for mizzing the cream’z! By the way’z, all’z the shop’z stuff iz my’z idea’z. She’z Blond!

Funny Farmer Felines: Your mom makes handmade cat toys and other items for your shop. We assume you are the toy tester and have lots of toys to pick from any time you’re in the mood to play?

Alfie: I get’z too sample, she’z don’t’z. She eat’z everything’z! I haz nip mat’z. Cat stuffie’z butt’z wez hide dem frum the Blond!

Funny Farmer Felines: We understand you’re quite social around the neighborhood. Would you like to tell us about some of your adventures?

Alfie: Yez I am a bit’z of a tramp … a roamer’z. I love going in all the neighbor’z houze’z. Annie who live’z next door broke her toe. She didnt’z know I sneaked in her kitchen’z, she tripped over mez. (Whoop’z.) Rob who live’z a couple’z of door down’z, iz allergic to Kitties. Sleeping’z on hiz pillow iz juzt great and youz should see’z hiz face, all puffy eye’z.

I am’z not put off by stranger’z I always get in their carz. When they get home, they realize I am there and have to return me.

Wez haz a school up the road, I am’z a big hit wiff all the kiddie’z. They haz the nicezt samwage’z – chicken, sum haz thuna. YumYum! I uze to goes up the road’z too’z KFC finger lickin chicken good butt’z being’z older’z now’z, I stay’z on my own’z turf.

Funny Farmer Felines: What kind of mischief do you like to get into?

Alfie: My pawty piece iz throwing up a furball on the Human/z bed. They usually find it hours later in the night, when a face has squeezhed it.

Funny Farmer Felines: So your most embarrassing moment was getting a paw in your eye while introducing yourself to a tom? We have to ask about that story!

Alfie: A new Tom turned up on my’z patch. Twinkling’z eye’z and shiny fur’z to die for. Fawght’z I wood’z introduze meself’z to him, so off’z I strutt’z, throwing’z in a bit of twerking, giving’z all mez bezt move’z. He waz NOT inprezzed, he hizzed at mez and wapped me’z in the eye’z. I had’z to say I caught it on the bramblez. I did tellz’ Mollie’z and she chased him off. Wez never’z seen him’z again’z.

Funny Farmer Felines: You opened your blog in 2012. What inspired you and Mollie to become bloggers?

Alfie: Wez only’z been’z blogging’z two year’z. It’z seem’z longer’z. Wez neffer knew’z about blogging’z till wez saw a programe’z on telly, so wez got’z our compawter guy’z to show’z uz how and make’z uz a page. Wez blogged recipe’z. Nuffin about’z uz. Our recipe’z were frown into space, no one’z knew wez waz here. Never a comment. Then wez waz going frew Google and saw Pet’z United. It waz a place full’z of people’z who blogged about’z there pet’z..Wez can do dat’z I said’z to Mollie. Pam from Petz United helped uz and here wez are today’z.

Funny Farmer Felines: We’re glad Alfie and Mollie stumbled over Pets United, Alfie. They are more successful at blogging than their mom was, but we’ve heard their mom makes great toys. We imagine Alfie has to put his paw of approval on before they are shipped.You can visit Alfie on the blog he shares with his woofie sister, Mollie and Alfie.

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    Category: Columns, Featured, Funny Farmer Felines, Interviews, Last Week, zzz Previous 3 cat articles

    About the Author ()

    Funny Farmer Felines -- Cyndi, Percy, Rusty, Micah & Taylor -- are veteran tickle-your-funny-bone bloggers for Jan's Funny Farm. They provide in-depth interviews of cat bloggers for Mousebreath. Percy thinks he is the lead spokescat. Visit them at http://jansfunnyfarm.blogspot.com/

    Comments (22)

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    1. A most excellent interview! Alfie’z is a kewl cat.. ♥

    2. Bev Green says:

      A wonderful interview where finally Alfie gets to have his say…no offfence Molly 🙂 and always a delight to here how people start blogging and the pets take over 🙂 thanks for the interview Funny Farmers 🙂 Fozziemum

    3. da tabbies o trout towne says:

      grate interviews FFF…N alfie…dood…..wadda ya meen talkin all BURD in thiz interviewz…..yea, we just red bout yur nayborhood vizitz N saw de B werd…85 times ina three werd sentence !!! we loves ewe guys…happee dadz day two morrow 🙂

      ♥♥♥♥♥

    4. Savannah says:

      Squeeee! *madly waves paw to Alfie*. Pawsome interview Alfie. So nice to hear you meowing away

    5. Fank you Dood’z for having’z uz xxoxxxx

      Mollie and Alfie

    6. Comedy Plus says:

      I love Mollie and Alfie. A lot.

      Have a fabulous day. 🙂

    7. Creekhiker says:

      Wow! We never knew so much about Alfie!! (That Mollz is a talkative girlie!!) Alfie is quite a character too!!!

      Macy and her mom.

    8. Hiya Alfie!!!! So great to see you on Mousebreath and learn some more about you!
      ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

    9. Sparkle says:

      It’s nice hearing from Alfie!

    10. Brian Frum says:

      That was a lot of fun Alfie and I know you are really quite fond of Molly!

    11. What a great interview! We need to drop by and say hello to Alfie and Molly!

    12. Our comment is still waiting moderation 🙁 we just wanted to say Thank you xxoxxxxxxx

    13. Flynn says:

      Great interview Alfie! It makes a change to hear what you have to say and not that blonde. I do like Mollie too but us kitties have to stick together don’t we.

    14. Clooney says:

      Woo hoo, Alfie, fantastic interview, you done us real proud there buddy! We loves you and Mollie and your blog, rock on!

    15. Yeah oh yeah Alfie! Wonderful interview! Thanks Mousebreath it is great to hear from Alfie for a change 🙂
      Marty

    16. YAY !
      Finally a interview wiff Alfie !!!
      XOXO

    17. madi and mom says:

      WTG Alfie…we absolutely loved your interview…you continue to crack me up and make be happy to be a feline
      hugs madi your bfff

    18. Whisppy says:

      That’s a great interview! We’ve never “heard” Alfie speak so much before. MOL!
      We can’t believe you’ve only been around for 2 years. It seems like it’s been forever (a good thing!)!

    19. Mag's Corner says:

      Fantastic interview!! We love Alfie and Mollie and you do great interviews so we knew this one would be super. Hugs and nose kisses

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