Ask Max Monday: 19

Ask Max Monday

Hi Max,

Two years after (almost to the day) our dearest Spider crossed the rainbow bridge, she sent Gracie and me a new friend. It’s a boy, a middle-aged meezer dude! His origin story is as fuzzy as his toe bean sprouts and apparently he’s recovering from his years on the streets (after some help from a very generous vet clinic). He lost his tail and a fang, but not his sense of humor. He is a hugger, not a fighter, and he has a lot to talk about. A LOT. Not only has he pledged his love to me, he follows Gracie around. And much to my surprise they’ve bonded over polite meows, butt-sniffing, Bird TV, and catnip-filled fishy toys.

Anyway, I’ve never had a meezer, although I’ve made the acquaintance of many. I know you know a meezer or two, and I know a meezer or two writes into this column on occasion. I was hoping to get some meezer advice as he is a lovely, lovely guy, but a bonafide weirdo, the good kind. What’ll make him supremely happy? His name is Quincey. He is a goodboi and I’m so glad he’s finally got a warm bed.

Thanks, Max!

MEEZER DOODS! Chime in! What will make Quincey and super happy Meezer???

I mean, aside from real live fresh dead steak and shrimps. That’s kind of a given.

Oh, and crunchy treats. That’s a given, too.

= = =

Man, I just finished your last book waiting to inhale! When’s the next one? I look like Lux all white and stuff, so is he in it? Or can you do a whole Lux book?

Dood, I’m glad you seem excited about it. The next one is another Wick Shorts and LUX IS IN IT! It’s slated for August, so keep an eye out. The title is “No Matter the When” and I promise, you’re gonna love the Wick & Lux story.

I’m not sure I can do a whole Lux book, though I won’t rule it out. Maybe someday I can do a one-off of something from his point of view. I’d need to learn a lot more words first. He’s kinda smart…

= = =

Doods! It’s June! That means it’s my birth month!

The people don’t know exactly what day I was born so they picked the 20th, but it could have been anytime from around the 5th on. Maybe even as early as the first.

So, we’re declaring it MAX’S BIRTHDAY all month long.

I AM NINETEEN NOW, GUYS!

Remember when I turned 16 and got my driver’s license? The people honestly didn’t think I would see 17, but then the stabby person did her stabby things and declare my thyroid to be 3 kinds of hyper, told them what to do, and voila. I’m still here.

Now, there was a bit of a scare a couple weeks ago, but other than that, I’m still doing fairly well and annoying the Woman at every opportunity. I look a little ragged, which is okay because now she calls me her Raggedy Man, which is what the 11th Doctor got called a lot, and there are days I am so picky about my food that I don’t eat enough. But I do eat. And I bug them for tasty things when they have it.

Like yesterday or the day before, there was chicken of the Kentucky Fried variety. You bet I got some of that. I made sure of it.

So.

Nineteen.

All month long, you need to eat all the good things, enjoy all the sun puddles, and celebrate with me, because that’s what life is. It’s amazing.

Even if the people are STILL home 99% of the time… =sigh=

= = =

Got a question for me? You can leave it in the comments or email me at askmaxmonday -at- gmail dot com.

Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (15)

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  1. Sorry, no meezer info to share, but Quincey sounds like one cool dude!
    Happy Birthday Month, Max…we are glad that you are hanging in there, to impart your wisdom and to keep writing!

  2. Rene S says:

    Happy birthday month, dude! Has your mom tried something called “Delectables?” They are lick chicken baby food in a pouch for cats. I ate a whole pouch today! Signed, Benny (almost 20)

  3. Gracie says:

    Happy Birthday Dude!! It’s my birthday (same as you – all month long) too. I am 10 this year. I got a new tall tower fit for a queen like me, fresh nip, and some new boxes to destroy. Life is good!

    • KesterGayle says:

      19! That’s quite a milestone Max!! Congratulations and many happy returns of the month!

  4. Cindy Pickworth says:

    HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTH!!
    We never get to celebrate for a whole MONTH! Enjoy!!

    Paxx&Rosie

  5. Jana Thompson says:

    Happy birthday month, Max! Kitties age like fine wine and dank catnip. Wishing you all the shrimpies and pets.

    Gracie & Quincey

  6. Random Felines says:

    DUDE!! Happy Birthday month!!!

  7. Mary McNeil says:

    Happy Purrthday Max !

  8. Laura Walker says:

    Happy Birthday Month you old man!!! (I put my blog up there, but I can’t remember when it was updated last…. my life is pretty boring!)

  9. Lynn Delage says:

    Happy birthday. I can’t believe you are 19. It doesn’t seem like it’s been 10 years, I think, since I started following you. Hope you will be around another ten years.

  10. messymimi says:

    Happy Birthday! Hope you get not just a month of treats, but for all of the rest of the year.

  11. Angel and Gandalf says:

    Happy birthday month, Max! We are in awe of your great age and your talents, too!

  12. Friday says:

    Happy 19th Max!!! You are amazing.

  13. Mocha and Spresso says:

    Happy 19th, Max. WOWZA! Yer OLD!!!!!!

  14. Mocha and Spresso says:

    We furgot to ask: Win in the hek are we gonna git the howse bak to ourselfs? Having the peeps here all the time is gitting on are nervs.

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