Ask Max Monday: The Art of Compromise

May 8, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday

Max, I was getting lots of pets from my human last evening while I sat on his belly until the D-O-G came over & nudged her way between us. She gets jealous. I found it rude! What can I do next time to make sure she doesn’t do that?

I’d try hissing and puffing up to make sure she knows you mean business. If that doesn’t work, show her nose the business end of your mighty paw. And not jst a gentle tap—whack that nose like 405 times in a row, hard and fast. But keep your claws in; you want to send a message, not start a war. Plus, drawing blood upsets people and that never works out well.

Max ,We miss the books by you about you.Will there be another book? Signed,Bindi and Sasha

If I can come up with something about me to write about, I’ll consider it. But at this point I think I’ve written everything about me that I can. I mean, I haven’t ruled it out…but it would have to be something not repetitious, and that’s kinda difficult for a cat.

Max dood, the mom says I’m something called “anti social” – I don’t come downstairs to meet people when they come into the house. Well, one person brings a yappy stinky woofie that I don’t really care about, and the rest of the time, truthfully I’m just too lazy to get mine butt off the bed and come ALL THE WAY down the stairs. Is that really a bad thing?

Totally not a bad thing. If they really wanted to see you, they’d come up the stairs (and leave the woofie downstairs.) Why expend the energy when they won’t make an equal effort?

Dear Max,
The weird foster lady grabbed my kittens and stabbed them and made them cry. She said they had to have their first shots. I say she’s being mean. What gives?

Millie the momma cat

You probably don’t remember it, but you got stabbed a few times when you were a kitten, too. The people tell us it’s to give us stuff to fight off cooties, but really, I think it’s just a life lesson. Like, suck it up sunshine, if this is the worst thing you go through, your life will be awesome. It happens to people, too, so there’s either something to it, or they just want to spread the misery around.

It might be a little mean, but oddly, the intentions are good.

MAX!!!!! I overheard the mom say she wants another cat. The dad said he doesn’t want another cat. The teenagers said they would like another cat. Then the dad said he really doesn’t want another cat. No one can agree. What’s going to happen?

Dood.

They’re going to compromise.

This means you’re getting another cat, and he’s probably getting golf clubs or a new TV.

Mr. Max, I rescued a kitten last week, and my older cat, Misty, doesn’t seem to mind but once in a while she acts a bit mean to the little guy. He tries to play and when she’s had enough, she literally knocks him down and hold him there with a paw. I don’t want to yell when she does it because I don’t want her to associate anger with the new kitten, but what else can I do?

Let her do it.

She’s not trying to be mean; she’s teaching him to be a cat. He’s got to learn boundaries, and she’s showing him what they are. A long as she’s not using claws or biting or getting all hissy with him, she’s just showing him the ropes. I’m willing to bet that as he gets older she’ll stop doing it, because he’ll have calmed down and learned that he’s a cat, and she’s not a toy.

Got a question for me?
You can leave it in the comments below,
or drop me an email at askmaxmonday@gmail.com.

You can also find me on Facebook.

 

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Category: 0 - Featured, Ask Max Monday, Last Week, zzz Previous 3 cat articles

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hits, "The Emperor of San Francisco" and "Ozoo" [The Wick Chronicles].

Comments (6)

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  1. Timmy says:

    Great stuff Maxx We learn so much from yoo!

  2. Cheryl A Nolte says:

    Hiiiiii Maxxxx!!!! It’s me, Harriet!!!! I was adopted by my mommy almost 10 years ago when I was 5 months old and and and guess what I discovered recently???? I discovered that lying on top of mommy in bed is really really really comfy and and and she gives me loads of petting and chin rubs and and and we can watch tv together!!!! AND my mean brofur Ozzy won’t dare bother me when I am on top of mommy!!!! I was always too scared when mommy tried to put me on her. Now I’m brave enough to jump up there and settle in for a good snuggle almost every night!!! Why didn’t someone tell me years ago that if you lie on top of your mommy that good things happen???

  3. Johnny says:

    Loving it Max!!

  4. Max, you’re our favorite feline life coach. Always so wise

  5. Pippin says:

    Hi Max
    My girl likes to call me nicknames, like cuddles, or snuggles. Sometimes when I play hard, and she calls me Freddie and says I need a manny cure. Is Freddie a good name or a bad name?
    Thanks
    Pippin

  6. Magee says:

    Mister Max,
    The hooman buys us real live fresh dead chicken that has been frozen and dried up as treats. It is very yummy. But the hooman is a cheepskate. The hooman buys the big dog-sized treats then cuts them up so there is more. The hooman takes one big chunk of real live fresh dead chicken and turns it into four small ones for us. Is that cheating or what?! We should be getting one big piece each!
    Purrs,
    Magee

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