Ask Max Monday: I Can’t Think of a Good Title This Time…

Ask Max Monday

Max Dood – how many points do I get for barfing on the mom’s lap? It was PAWSOME, especially the part where she jumped up and I flew through the air for about 5 feet.

Oh, man, dood, you get like 4,892 points for that! Did you land on your feet? If you fly through the air and land on your feet you get 917 extra points for style. Oh! Oh! Did the barf splatter and get on her face? That’s, like, 1,822 extra points! I’d tell you how many in all that is, but math is hard.

Hey Max! Dot here – Our mom has a friend who lost their mom. The mom had two kittehs who are 7 and 8 years old. The friend has asked our mom if she can adopt them. WE (me and Dip) are 17. We have always been the only kittehs. Mom knows what you are supposed to do to integrate new kittehs but she is wondering if she SHOULD. I would probably be okay, but when we moved to our new home last year, Dip became a wild cranky mean guy for a few days because he smelled the other kittehs who just moved. We thought he might eat us AND the cable guy he was so upset. So, Mom’s heart is in the right place, but is it a good idea? What says you oh wise Max? Purrs, Dip & Dot

Does your mom WANT two more kitties? That’s the major thing. If she really wants these kitties, then it will be worth the time and effort to integrate them into the house and get you two to accept them. You might need to put something like Feliway in every freaking room in the house, and you might need to be separated from them for longer than most people do, but it can work. Patience is the key. Patience and lots of treats.

But…if your mom is just thinking about it because it feels like the right thing to do? It’s okay to say no. It sound and feels harsh, but even when there are kitties who need homes, it’s not a wrong thing to not be the person who gives them a home. Sometimes people are tapped out and aren’t ready for more pets, and they shouldn’t feel bad about it…even if that means forever.

Tell your mom to follow her heart. It might take time to work if she wants them, and she should absolutely not feel bad if she doesn’t.

Hi hi Max

I had to have three teethies out and a chin underground zit lances 

well since I came home my little sisfur bratty Sugar-cookie has been hissing at me 

Meowmie has plugged in the Feliway defuser and wrapped me in Sugars blanket to get her scent on me and even put Vanilla extract on our shoulders….she read dat somewhere…to make us smell the same and the brat iz still hissing at me.  What else can Iz do. We aren’t fighting. ..just Miss not dat sugary hissing

Your fan


Dood, I’m sorry you had to get all that done at the stabby place. It sounds awful.

If the diffusers aren’t working, Feliway has wipes that sometimes work better in situations like this. If she rubs you both down with a wipe, it might do more than just the diffuser or the vanilla.

What worked for a friend…the other kitty had to go to the vet for something, and =boom= the growling and the hissing stopped. I don’t recommend that, personally, because STABBY GUY. And $$.

Maybe she can give you both a special treat, right next to each other. If she associates a dead and delicious treat with you, she might stop hissing. And if nothing else, you got a treat.

Other than that…dood, it might just take time.

Okay, Max, we want your opinion. You remember our bro-dog, Tank? Dumb as a box o’rocks but super sweet, and when our Tall Guy stole the neighbor’s blind cat, Vader, he became her guide dog until she went to the Bridge. It’s been a while, and it seems like lately, he’s lonely even though he has us three cats. We’re getting older, too, and we’re worried we might take off to see Vader and he’ll be left alone.

Now, the Tall Guy and the Can Opener have been talking about it, and they’re wondering if how he treated Vader was a fluke, or if he would do it again for another blind cat. If it were the dog who came before him and was here with him for a while, it would be a no-brainer, but Tank really isn’t bright (which is half of why we love him.) You had a dog who had a cat before you—did he treat you the same as her? Do you know?

We await your wisdom, Mister Max.

Luv, Weezer and Pluto and Goofy

Hank the Dog thought the Cat Who Came Before Me, Dusty, was his mom, so I’m not sure we’re the best comparison. He treated me well, but he didn’t look up to me the way I think he did her. But still…sweet natured dogs are just that—sweet. And if Tank is nice to you and was nice to Vader, he’s gonna be nice to a new kitty, too.

I remember when you guys stole Vader (it’s not a bad story, doods who don’t know; Vader was left outside without food and expected to hunt even though she was blind. So they let her inside and told the neighbor he wasn’t getting her back, and he didn’t care) and Tank just automatically knew what to do for her. I think that’s just his thing.

My sage advice: get him the blind kitty. He’s gonna be nice no matter what, and if he doesn’t become his or her guide dog, your people are resourceful and will do everything they need to. They were willing to do it for Vader before it was clear that Tank claimed her, they’ll do it again.

You don’t need to worry about him when you’re gone…they’ll do right by him.


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Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (4)

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  1. Such excellent sage advice, Max! The We hope the barfing cat was taken to the vet, ’cause cats usually don’t barf on people. And the blind kitty and dog story had me wiping away a tear…

  2. That was some excellent advice on Dot, Max. Granny would love to have more kitties, but she considers me as I am a loner too and it only would stress me out in the end. Pawkisses for a wonderful week 🙂 <3

  3. Miss Juliea and Patzy says:

    Great column this week Max! We loved your advice about the sweet (but not so smart) dog and the blind kitty. Those doggies who are a little slower than us kitties can sure make great companions for us. I love my big, not so smart dog except when he tries to show his dominance by drinking all my water before he drinks his. But he is nice to me all the same.

  4. Janet says:

    How do you integrate a new cat into the household? We were adopted by a stray cat last weekend. Once we found out that none of the shelters would take in the stray, well, there was only one thing left to do, keep him. The vet thinks he is 5, and Knucks is 9 or 10 and been our only cat for 6 years. The new guy has some health issues so we’ve been keeping him in quarantine, but eventually he will have to come out. Is there a best way to do this?


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