Ask Max Monday: Delay of the Glowing Kitty

Ask Max Monday

So nice of you to offer your books for free. Max. My human already has them all, I’ve read them on her tablet thing.

I don’t like this pandemic thing. The human has to stay home now, so I have to snoopervise to make sure she actually does some work. It’s exhausting! The stabby place even cancelled my radioactive iodine treatment, so I have to wait to get super powers. How come I can’t get my super powers now?

Do kitties get the pandemic, Max? I don’t want to do quarantine, whatever that is, I just want to stay home.

Good news. Kitties do have to worry about COVID-19 and there’s not a chance of you passing it onto your people. There are two anecdotal instances in China of dogs testing positive, but those are also likely false positives based on what I’ve read.

I know it’s a pain in the asterisk to wait for your superpowers, but it’s important. You’re not at risk, but your human is. The stabby place is just trying to minimize their exposure to other people except in emergencies and also minimize her exposure to them. This is a good thing, and what everyone should be doing right now.

And I get it, people are already getting itchy to go out and go places, but I hope they understand this first couple of weeks is all about containing the virus that was all around us 2-3 weeks ago. It’s the NEXT couple of weeks that will show us what to expect, and if it erupts the way the data suggests, isolation is the way to go. It doesn’t matter if you’re young and healthy and think that even if you get it, it won’t be bad. You might die despite being young and otherwise healthy.

They might just be a carrier and pass it along to family members. No one wants to be the reason their parents or grandparents get sick.

The Man works in a hospital, and doods, this thing seriously scares him. He knows about innards and the like and knows how bad this can be. My people aren’t just taking it serious, they’re taking it super serious. Because the Woman is in a couple of risk groups, she pretty much sticks to home, and if they have to go to the store, she doesn’t touch anything or anyone. She didn’t even go to see the Grandma this week when the Man took some food to her. She’s not seeing the Younger Human.

Doods…she’s not even riding her bike outside if she’s alone. She technically could, but then she thinks, well what if I wreck? No one needs to be touching me, risking us both, and if someone stopped to help they probably would have to touch her. Or worse, if it was bad enough, she would tie up an ambulance, then an ER slot, and maybe even a hospital bed at a time when those need to be left for someone who gets sick.

So, yeah, we’re taking it super seriously, and I hope everyone else is, too.

Even if it means no superpowers.

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Y’all be safe. I want every single one of you to be here when this is all over, because in June I turn 19 and I want a bazillion happy birthday wishes.

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Got a question? Drop me a line at askmaxmonday@gmail.com or leave it in the comments here.

Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (5)

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  1. Precious! There’s also a Turkish fellow who tweets occasionally when he plays jazz piano for his kitty. How wonderful.

    Thanks for the bright note!

  2. Erin The Cat says:

    Love your song about washing hands and staying at home. Mrs H will be singing (aka warbling like a vulture with a sore throat) all day! Maybe you could sing it for us? You could be the next YouTube sensation!
    Anyways, what we want to know is: What will you be doing to entertain the troops during this undoubted crisis of humanity, and B (not that there was an A) To spot the humans being OVER attentive with the grubby paws – well overly sterilised paws. OK there is a third. C) How does one stop a human from trying to bathe their cat. And if they should be so inclined, what should they be using and how and what compensation would be appropriate for such an experience 😉
    Purrs from an admiring fellow Tux
    ERin

  3. messymimi says:

    You are right, this is serious, and i wish everyone understood why and how, and would take your family’s precautions. Meanwhile, Enigma SissyCat has a question.

    Dear Max,

    The Little Girl is off playing army again (mom says she’s an army medic and got called up to help with testing for something or other), so we have the d-o-g here again, and I can’t stand it! It wants to be friends even though I hiss and give the whappy paw. But what I want to know is, why can’t i have the dog food? It smells great, better even than our cat food, although the dog disagrees and says our food smells better. Why does the mom chase me away from the dog food?

    Thanks,
    Enigma SissyCat

  4. doug says:

    might get fussed at for letting you know than jan of jansfunnyfarm has been sick and has been in the hospital. I am letting mousebreath know since I have heard her mention it at times. I am fur-baby sitting (or whatever the term is) her dog Marcus and her cats Micah and Taylor.

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