Ask Max Monday: EAT ALL THE THINGS…but maybe not all at once.

Ask Max Monday

Hello Max, I’m glad you’re feeling better. The ear stuff is so much easier to deal with than pills, isn’t it? As long as you get the required bribe, that is.

I have a question, oh wise one. My human occasionally gives me tuna and salmon food, and it is SOOO GOOD! I eat almost the entire can, but then I hork it up a few minutes later.

Granted, my human staff are very good about cleaning up the mess and feeling sorry for me, but I would rather keep the wonderful tuna and salmon food in my tummy. Have you any suggestions for keeping the fishy goodness in me and not on the carpet?
Thanks, Max!

Your fan, Hnossa
P. S. I love the new book!

Dood, I’m glad you like the book!

Now…the obvious answer to your tummy issues is to not eat nearly the whole can. Maybe only eat half and then see how it goes. I know how it is when you get a special treat, though; it’s amazing and you want as much of it as you can stuff in. Stomachs only hold so much, though, and when put to the test, they wimp out and let loose all that goodness you want to hold inside.

Buddah barfs *a lot,* like nearly every day…he does better when he doesn’t get certain foods (like Fancy Feast, which is my favorite) but once in a while he doesn’t mind horking onto the carpet if it means he got some of that fancy, fancy goodness. Tuna and salmon just might not agree with you, but if you don’t get it every single day and it’s a treat…might be worth it. But I’d try eating a little less of it and see how that goes. And if it stays down, you have leftovers for later! That’s a win-win right there.

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Max, I saw a thing that said your blog is something psycho…but I thought THIS was your blog. Is there something else?

Ah, yes, there is something else. This is my life coach/advice/musings column in Mousebreath—I don’t own it or anything, I just work here. My blog is The Psychokitty Speaks Out and has been running since October 2003. It’s where I muse about life, liberty, and the unfairness of having to live with Buddah.

I used to write in it a lot, but lately, like most of the cat blogs from the heyday of Cat Blogs, not quite as much. But there are a metric forkton of posts there to wade through, so when you need something to do, it might not be a half bad way to spend some time, if I do say so myself.

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MAX IS IT TRUE YOU GET STEAK EVERY SINGLE DAY LIKE SOME KIND OF KING? HOW DO I GET A GIG LIKE THAT?

I get steak almost every day. Sometimes the people forget to buy one or take one out of the freezer, and there are days when I get fish instead. But yeah, I get it enough that I can pretty much say it’s daily!

You get this gig by getting old and having people who consider real live fresh dead steak as kind of an investment. One steak lasts nearly an entire week, and it’s something I’ll eat unless I just feel really bad. So as long as I’ll eat it, they’ll probably keep getting it for me.

Oh, and to rub it in…I get ribeye. It used to be a NY strip, but the ribeye cuts easier and they think I like it more, so they started buying it in bulk at Costco.

I feel kinda bad for any cats or dogs who come after me, because I heard them say the next pets aren’t getting any people food. Not sure why, but I think I need to appreciate this while I got it.

= = =

Are you gonna write another book? I hope so.

I hope so, too. I’ve been writing poetry, but some of it is kind of a downer and I want to do something fun and funny, so we’ll see. But I want to!

= = =

If you have questions, leave them in the comments or in email and I’ll get to them next week.

Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (2)

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  1. Do cats really feel ‘sorry’ when they’ve horked up their dinner on the carpet, Max? Other than being bummed that their tummy is empty again.

  2. messymimi says:

    Two tablespoons of food at a time, and my cats that need extra calories keep it down. More than that, and it comes back up. Measured doses through the day is the key.

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