Ask Max Monday: Give ‘Em the Full Moon

Ask Max Monday

Max, why duzn’t peeple sniff my butt when they say hello? Don’t you think that’s rood?

Well, it’s a little rude, but people don’t have the best noses so they can’t smell all the little nuances that we can. Since they can’t, they don’t understand how important it is. Still, keep shoving your butt in their faces, and one day they might finally get it.

Purrs to The Woman. Do you know if those cooties are contagious? Mom had them and now Tommy is sneezing.

The Woman got worried about that, too, because I started sneezing this week. She looked it up, and everything she found said it’s not likely for a cat to get a people-cold. And then she realized stuff outside is blooming, and I have seasonal allergies, so she stopped worrying.

Of course, once she was all good and worried, I stopped sneezing.


Dear Max
We want to thank you for helping our mom person. It took her like forever to read the Blog you wrote to Hershey and she cried and grabbed us and snotted in our furs but she does feel better knowing that Velcro is happy. We are not to happy about the snot, how do you get mom snot out of fur? She says if you were closer she’d give you a big hug and lots of real live fresh dead shrimp. You are a wise dood.

Hugs and purrs
Inky and Toots

I hope she’s feeling a little bit better. And don’t worry about the snot in your fur. That chit tends to dry up all on its own, and then it flakes off. It’ll be gross for a while, but it’ll go away. Just be sure to be near her food or drink when it does. That way, you can give it back to her. That’s just being thoughtful.

Deer Max,
I am also a Max , used to be Tony till I was rescued . I live in a house with my mom and new dad but I have a dog here who they call my brother but he is bossy and tries to nip me if I get in his way. I am always careful to give him the rite of weigh and that seams to help. Can we become friends ,do you think? We chase his ball together and I get to it first but I don’t touch it. I think that is progress. What do you think? Should I try harder? What can I do ?
Yore friend,
Max S.

Just keep doing what you’re doing. It takes time. It took me some time to become okay with Hank the Dog when I moved in, but I made sure to not get too close at first, and I let him have his way a lot, and pretty soon he realized that I was amazing and his life was better for having me in it.

Okay, it might have been the other way around, but the point is, eventually we learned to coexist. And I wish I had more time with him than I got—that’s how worth it being patient was. And dood, you know it works when the dog leaves you a meaty bite with gravy in his bowl for you. That’s your goal—the last bite of gravy.

Mr. Awesome, why don’t cats like a water bowl near their food?  I just learned that recently and I was really surprised!  Also, my kitty prefers to graze as opposed to timed meals. How often is too often to feed a kitty who usually eats a bit and then cleans his face and paws.  

Please Mr. Awrsome cause I am a lowly kitty slave and I gotta get this right or I will be fired!   Mighty Kitty.

Cats (well, a lot of cats) don’t like to have their water near their food because their base instinct tells them that their food is a fresh kill and it might contaminate their water. Now, a lot of cats do just fine with a water dish next to their food dish, but if the option is there to have them in separate spaces, the cat will probably be happier and just might drink more. My food and water are about 5 feet apart, just far enough to make me happy. Buddah, on the other hand doesn’t seem to care; his water mug is on the counter, right where he eats (and yes we have separate water…I like the fountain, Buddah likes a coffee mug, so the people got him 2 of them, with his initial on them.)

I dunno how often is too often for feeding…I used to only get wet food 2 times a day, but then it was 3, and somehow I managed to talk the Woman into another snack, so I’m eating 4 times a day. It’s, like, AWESOME.


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About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (4)

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  1. Hermes Hauck says:

    I always learn something from you, Max!

  2. Mom got this mental picture of Buddah drinking out of his own coffee mug and it make her snicker.

  3. Sammy Meezer says:

    Max, Dood, who does I need to talk to about getting some pigs to fly over mine house so that I can go down into the dungeon and eat the christmas wreath? It’s raelly very tasty but for some reason the mom wants to deny me this one simple pleasure in mine life, but apparently, according to the mom, I can only do this when there is bacon flying over mine house.

  4. We’re pretty good at getting our own nose juices all over Mom and Dad….it’s only fair!

    The Florida Furkids


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