Ask Max Monday: Hide!

Ask Max Monday

Max, I was so excited to find the PURRFECT holiday cards this weekend!  The Hubby rolled his eyes, and made noises about how 'we' should make our own cards, and how he could carve something that we could make a stamp out of…but did he do any of that?!?  NOPE! 

Get the cards you want and send them out. If he wants to get all Martha Stewart and make a bunch of stuff, he can send his own cards. Simple as that.

Max, you’ve helped me in the past and I’m hoping you can help again. My 10 month old tabby, Barney, has a million toys laying all over the house but his favorite toy is his own poop! I clean the litter box sometimes twice a day but he still manages to find his poop, dig it out of the litter box and bat it around. Then I’ll end up stepping on it if I’m not careful. I play with him, I make sure he has catnip on his toys and even if I’ve just cleaned the litter box, he’ll poop in it and then start playing with it! What gives? Is that even NORMAL?

Karen, Barney’s Mom

Of course it’s his favorite. He made it himself.

It’s kind of normal…he probably doesn’t see it as waste matter. It’s just something that he can bat around. He might be attracted to it by the smell of whatever he ate, but in the end, it’s a toy. You might be able to curb stepping in it by getting him a taller-sided litter box so he can’t get anything out of the box. Alternately, a covered box with a flap—if he’ll tolerate it—can keep him from taking things out of the box (not all cats will…I won’t use a covered box because I don’t trust Buddah to not attack me in it.)

He’ll probably also outgrow it. Buddah played with the oddest things until he was 1.5-2 years old, and then stopped. So there’s hope.

Dear Max, It seems Frank has another problem. He is not grooming himself. He does his business but we can see parts of the litter on him. He sits around like he always does and we can smell him. What can we do about this? Steve L.

Grab a wash cloth and get to work…and if he continues to not groom, it’s time to take him to see the stabby guy. There can be a lot of reasons a cat stops grooming—age-related loss of flexibility, arthritis, maybe even depression—but it’s not normal. Check him for mats, because licking them can hurt, which might cause a kitty to stop grooming, and wash him off with a warm wet cloth as needed, but yeah, if it keeps up, he needs to be seen.

Max Halloweenie is coming up and I’ve never had one. What do I do for it?

Dood, you hide under the bed, that’s what you do. If not under the bed, hide in the closet. For a couple hours, right after dark, a stream of sticky people will be at your door threatening to do a trick if they don’t get a treat. The people allow this blackmail because the sticky people are wearing cute costumes and they can’t stand not being nice to sticky people, and they give them candy.

Well, if your people are cool they hand out candy. Lame people hand out toothbrushes and fruit. DON’T HAND OUT FRUIT, PEOPLE! It just goes in the trash, or worse, gets tossed at cars and windows.

But you, dood…hide. There’s nothing required from you for Halloween, so spare yourself the agony and just hide until it’s over.

MAX WHATCHA WANT FOR CHRISSYMOOSE?

To sit on a lap and watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special, but it doesn’t look like I’m gonna get that. It sounds like the special has been pushed to New Year’s.

Alternately…Facebook without all the politics. That would be really nice.

Got a question for me?
You can leave it in the comments below,
or drop me an email at askmaxmonday@gmail.com.

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Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (3)

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  1. FB without politics…hahahahahahahahaha!

    The kitten who bats around his own pooplogs is a new one on me; excellent advice, Max!

    And AS IF The Hubby would ever send out a greeting card voluntarily…HA!

  2. Ellen Pilch says:

    New Year's for Dr. Who's Christmas Special- that is so wrong.

  3. Meow it all says:


    Very happy to hear from you we also selling cat associates
    if anyone need you can suggest

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