Ask Max Monday: Hit 225 Points, You Get A Free Ice Cream

Ask Max Monday

Dear Max,
Once again I need help in training my human. Now she says she will re-tire in a few years. OK so she needs new tires just get them, don’t tell me about it. I only go in the car once get a year anyway, Bast willing.
Then she says when she re-tires she wants to get a Foster. Who is this Foster and is he going to take my treats? I don’t care how warm and soft and cuddly he is I don’t want him horning into my territory. My treats are mine, mine, all mine! My human is mine, mine, mine. You get the picture.
Love,
Bella
P.S. Mine, mine, mine!

Hey, I know Foster. No worries, he never stays in the same place for very long. He’ll get treats, but your human will have extra on hand for him. After a while, he moves on to a forever home.

Now, he might show up again and he won’t look the same, and he might even be a girl, but it’s all right. Foster is just waiting for a place to call his own. You can share for a little while, right? Even I can share. I’ve been sharing for 11 years, and while I’m not happy about it, I make it work.

When Foster gets there, tell him I said Hi. He’s a pretty cool dood.

HAY MAX! I peed on the bed ware the beard guy putz his hed! TWICE!!!!! How menny points do I git for that????

Well, peeing on the bed is generally worth 63 points, so twice is worth 126. However, you get style points for doing it where his head goes, so that’s an extra 52. So you get 178 points. Good job!

HAY MAX! Make that THREEEEE! WEEEEE!

Well, now you’re just showing off. That costs you 31 points. But still, you have 147 points; all in all, pretty sweet! Keep going…eventually there’s a free prize.

Hey, Max. You remember my dog-bro Tank, right? He became the seeing-eye dog for Vader when she came to live with us. Now my fur-bro Goofy is going blind and Tank is helping him the same way he did Vader. Normally Tank is about as smart as a box of bricks, but he seems to know exactly what Goofy needs and when.

How does he do that, Max? I don’t even know how to help Goofy. Neither does Pluto, and he was Goofy’s littermate. Any idea? ~Weezer

Dood…Tank might not be all that smart, but he’s sensitive. Some dogs are just born to take care of others, I think. He listens to Goofy’s little noises and just figures it out. Probably through sense of smell, too.

Maybe someone else has some educated reasons, but I think Tank knows how to help him because that’s Tank’s innate purpose in life. When the brains were being handed out, he didn’t take all he could, because he knew he didn’t need them to be able to be sweet and kind. And really, I bet he’s happier right now than he was a while ago, missing Vader. Not that I wish Goofy any harm, but Tank’s there for a reason.

You might not be able to help, but give them both some head bonks every now and then, so they both know you want to.

 

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