Ask Max Monday: Hork Hork Hork

Ask Max Monday

No worries Max, I just travelled back in time and copied the question.

"Dear Max, I have just travelled back in time from Wednesday, and your post about last minute gift ideas, and have to say that you have some great ideas coming up. So definitely need to visit them and get them on your list ASAP. My question for you is. . .  OK, two questions are: 1) What gifts do you really want and why? 2) What do you plan to be doing Boxing Day, assuming there is no turkey left over and all the nip is gone…

Purrs ERin

PS, if I knew this time travelling malarky was so easy I would have done it sooner "

I guess the 3rd question for you, Max, is how did the day go and did you get all the gifts you wanted?

Toodle pips

ERin

I already have more than a kitty needs, like WAY more, so I never ask for anything for Christmas and have a standing request with Santa to save anything he was going to bring me for someone else who doesn’t have all that I do. And he’s really good at honoring that; Buddah usually gets a small toy because Buddah is like a toddler and probably doesn’t understand that he already has more toys than he can really play with. This year, the people bought us an entire bagful of small nip toys…and one of them was a replica of the candy bar shaped nip toy that Buddah stole from me before I ever knew he was a cat!

That made me happy, and Buddah has been playing like he’s young again. The Woman put all those little toys in a basket, and every day he picks a few out and plays super hard. He was wicked happy because three or four of the toys are these heart-shaped mousies, and those are his absolute favorites. I am totally in favor of anything that diverts his attention from me.

The only downside to Christmas was that there was no Doctor Who special.

We got a bonus Christmas a couple of days later when the Younger Human and his Much Better Half came over. There was schnitzel and they opened gifts to each other, and it was just a nice day. That was a lot nicer than getting presents, because I really like his Much Better Half. In spite of the evidence.

* * *

Dood, where’s your next book?

In my head.

No, for reals, the vomit draft is done and the official first draft is like 80% done. I’m taking my time with this one. I pumped the last 8 out faster than usual, and that makes an old guy kinda tired. But it’ll get there.

We’ve also been working on notes for a few more. So. There. Stuff is coming, and it’s not winter.

Well, not entirely. There’s snow in this one.

* * *

Max, maybe you have ideas. I have a 12 year old fluffy boy, and in the last few months the vomiting has ramped up. All of his blood work looks good, and he doesn’t seem to be in any distress. I had a vague notion that Buddah is a barfer, and thought you might have some insight?

Buddah is a total horker. He barfs at least three times a week, usually in a spot not easily gotten to. Either that or he gets on the top of his tree and lets it fly from there, so that there’s this Jackson Pollack kind of thing to clean up.

All his blood work comes back looking good, too. His main issue seems to be the kind of food we get; if he gets too much Fancy Feast, he barfs. So we get a lot of Pro Plan, which he seems to tolerate a little better and has cut down on the number of times he throws up. But he still throws up. Because of me, the People haven’t been able to change the food too much and feeding me one thing and him another just didn’t work out, so they put up with a little vomit and the stabby guy says it’s okay as long as it’s not more than a couple times a week.

But.

One of the things he said was that if it kept up at the same rate or got worse, he wanted a look inside Buddah’s belly. Cats that hork a lot can have other issues going on, like small bowel lymphoma. If your kitty has had a change in diet and still throw up, it would be worth it to look a little deeper and make sure he doesn’t have something like that going on.

And there’s the obvious: he’s a fluffy boy, and fluffy boys ingest a lot of hair. Sometimes it doesn’t come up as a hairball; sometimes it gets mixed in with food and comes up like barf.

The first thing I would do, personally, is talk to the stabby guy about a diet change, and if that doesn’t help, take a look inside. He might also want you to scrape up some of the horkage to see what it’s composed of. If there’s a lot of fur in it, there are things you can do for that to. But don’t get excited, it doesn’t mean you get to shave the kitty.

Naked kitties just look…wrong.

Got a question for me?
You can leave it in the comments below,
or drop me an email at askmaxmonday@gmail.com.

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Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (6)

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  1. Max, excellent advise today!  Somehow I missed your previous post, so I'm off to check it out!

  2. Angel and Gandalf says:

    Max, I'm Angel and I want to tell you about Natural Balance limited ingredient cat food–our stabby person recommended it for me because I was horking occasionally.  Well, it has stopped my horking and–guess what–my beautiful white furs have gotten so very soft, befitting the royal princess that I am.

    Even that ruffian Gandalf has benefited, because his furs aren't as dry and falling out the way they were.

  3. Dear Max:

    Two of my kitties went to the Rainbow Bridge (mother and daughter) within two weeks of each other.  One on Christmas Day; talk about a bummer.   They were both into their 19th year.  Emma, the mama, was still a kitten when she had kittens! but both she and Clara were very sick with kidney issues.  I am happy they are no longer in pain, but I really miss them.  Since you know everything, maybe you could tell us again what the Rainbow Bridge is like.  Thanks.

    Sad in Savannah

  4. TRIPPER says:

    MAX, DOOD, I NEED YER HELP! YOO SED, AND I KWOTE: "Naked kitties just look…wrong." 

    WELL, MAX, MY PEEPLE AND THE STABBY PLACE GUY ARE TRYING TO TERN ME INTO A NEKKID KITTY. AFTER TURKEY DAY THEY SHAVED MY HOLE BAK CUZ I HAD A BAD CASE OF THE ITCH. THEN AFTER KRISSMISS THE ITCH GOT BAD ON MY TUMMEH, AND THEY SHAVED THAT, TOO. AT THIS RATE, I'LL BE TOTALLY NEKKID BY VALENTINES DAY. 

    AND TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, I GAYNED A POWND OF WATE OVER THE HOLIDAYS AND THE STABBY GUY GOT KINDA TSSSSSK TSSSSK TSSSSKY WITH ME. LIKE, HOO DUZN'T GANE WATE OVER THE HOLIDAYS???? MY YEER IS NOT OFF TO SUCH A GOOD START.

  5. manny says:

    Max, I only got eleventy prezints for Krissmiss. And I was a GOOD cat last yeer, not like my brudder Jack. I can't pawsibly be any gooder this yeer. Any hints on how to git more prezints? 

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