Ask Max Monday: I Need the Thumbs to Come Home

Ask Max Monday

Oh wise Max,
Whyyyyyyyy did we have to wait so long for breakfast on Sunday morning? And dinner? You’d think the human would have compensated us for the late breakfast. Is this going to be the way it is forever–chow a WHOLE HOUR late?

Who does our human think she is?

It’s only gonna be that way until next spring. Eventually, people will settle on the right time for getting things done, and there won’t be anymore of this late-food/early food thing happening TWICE A FREAKING YEAR that takes FORKING FOREVER to get used to.

I didn’t really notice much different this time around; the Man got home from passing gas, same as he does 3-4 days a week, and he opened cans for us. Since some days he gets home earlier than others, I’m kind of used to it. And this weekend my entire food schedule was off because SOMEONE ISN’T HOME TO CATER TO MY WHIMS so we had to wait for him to wake up to get fresh cans. He was pretty prompt, though, so I can’t complain too much.

Well, I CAN, but I suppose I won’t.

= = =

Yep, the Woman is off gallivanting with OTHER PETS this weekend. The Younger Human and his Much Better Half are off doing fun things, and someone needed to go over and feed the dogs and the cats, and then let the dogs out in the backyard 4,982 times a day, and then WALK the dogs a couple times.

It sounds exhausting, so I’m not surprised that she fell asleep over there.

And I should be upset about the whole thing, but she’s working on some stuff for me, and she has kitty help.

This is Monkey. He’s acting as her muse right now, and he’s clearly dedicated in his efforts. He believes is getting right in her face by getting RIGHT IN HER FACE to let her know what’s what, and I think what was what was that she had some super huge plot holes going, and he wanted to make sure she was paying attention.

I mean, she was; we’ve discussed these plot holes and might fill them with more story stuff later. She was supposed to tweak some stuff in the next Wick short, and fluff up two more. And by fluff I mean add a few things, not THAT kind of fluff, you sick freaks.

At least, I hope that’s what she’s doing.

Damn, I might be a sick freak, too.

In any case, she’ll be home tomorrow and the Man will go stay with the dogs and cats until their people come home. So maybe it’s a good thing I only got one question because I’m doing this by myself, and now I really miss having a typist.

BUT ASK ME QUESTIONS FOR NEXT WEEK!!!

= = =

Got a question? Drop me a line at askmaxmonday@gmail.com or leave it in the comments here.

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Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (3)

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  1. Eww, they are getting other animals germs on them! Where are the hazmat suits, Max?
    So, here’s my question for you, Max: since you are an author of books, do you read books too? Or listen to audiobooks?

  2. messymimi says:

    It’s not easy for us to get used to these stupid time changes, either. How i long for an end to it.

    Meanwile, is there any way to encourage a cat to groom itself better? We have one that i call a lazy groomer, he seldom grooms himself and ends up with knots in his fur and hates being brushed.

    • KesterGayle says:

      If your cat lets you pet and handle him, you can pull apart the snarls with your fingers. Don’t pull directly away from his body, that pulls the skin and hurts. With both hands just pinch the outer edges of the snarl and pull apart laterally, working your way through the mat gradually. The loose dead hair will just fall out into your hands. Then take a small comb, like a side comb for ladies hair that you can hide in your hand, and gently comb out just that spot. I once had a cat who had constant mats in her fur, and I just pulled out a snarl or two each evening while watching tv. It worked quite well since she loved being petted.

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