Ask Max Monday: I’m Watching…Kinda

Ask Max Monday

Hey its Aspen! I cant helps it but I keep growling at young not quite age 3 year-old Jack! Your Right! He tries to bitey my neck and He is now so BIG, I cannot throw him off of me! Plus he wants to sniff my ** what should I do? I hide by Mom buts sometimes she goes out!!

Fart in the little farker’s face. That’s about all you can do when he’s back there trying to sniff out your entire genealogical line. I never did figure out how to stop a kitty from getting all bitey and stuff. If I had, Buddah would   not be half the problem he still is. I’d say bite back, but yeah…I know that’s not always possible.

So, fart.

If nothing else, farts are always funny.

= = =

Dear Max, You are the most famous cat in the world. Another famous cat, Grumpy Cat, passed away last week. Do you have any thoughts on This?    Steve L.

Oh, man. I was so upset when I learned that Grumpy had passed away. I mean, she was way too young and it feels like she should have had so many more years to frown at the world while the world smiled back.

The thing is, it stings a lot, maybe because I remember before she was famous. When her uncle posted her picture on Reddit and she was just Tard, that cat with the perpetual scowl. The Woman and I were among the first to upvote that picture, and I clearly remember thinking that Tard was going to be something amazing, but I had absolutely no idea just how amazing she would become. I just figured, you know, Internet famous. But dang…she hit the stratosphere.

Her passing was like a kick to gut. I can only imagine how bad her family feels. Right now, that’s where my feelings are…I hate that they lost their Tarder, their little girl who became Grumpy, the little furball that connected them to the world. And I feel for Pokey, too…losing a sister has to be really hard. I hope he’s okay.

= = =

Max, do you really watch TV or do you
just use it as an excuse to sit on a lap? I really want to know. – Brutus O’Cattacus


A little of both, really. When Doctor Who is on I actually watch it. Other things I sit on the Woman’s lap and kind of watch—like, if there’s a lot of movement it catches my eye, so I pay attention to the TV—but those shows I can take or leave. Mostly I just want a lap.

I dig Star Trek Discovery, though, and keep watching when it’s on. The Woman thinks it’s because of the colors and the pace—lots of running and things blowing up—but I watch even when those things don’t happen. What she doesn’t know is that I’m really paying attention to the creepy secret agent people from Section 31—I want to be Capt. Georgio when I grow up. She can seriously kick asterisk.

Now, Good Omens gets released on the 31st and I’m totally watching that. We just re-read the book and now I’m excited, mostly because the 10th Doctor is playing a demon.

Yep, we read together. Usually at night using a Kindle. Really, the
Woman can’t sleep without her bedtime story.

Got a question for me?

You can leave it in the comments below,

or drop me an email at askmaxmonday@gmail.com

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Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (3)

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  1. Fart…yes, what a purrfect solution, Max!

  2. Erin The Cat says:

    Now theres on tactic I hadnt thought about—the fart. Hmm as Mrs H does that a lot (not that you head that from me) do you think she is trying to stop me doing something—like bringing home the bacon, not literally as last time I tried the thing got stuck in the cat flap and Farmer Brown was not best pleased.
    Oooh I am going to watch Good Omens as I think they have, for once, got a good cast together for the adaptaion of a book. The book was so out there and up there it was better than Dr Who—well the last series at least, as David Tennant’s and Mr Eccleston’s were awesome.
    Time travelling purrs
    ER

  3. Damien says:

    Hey Max, I’ve caught more than a cupple of mice in my time, and not a single one has worn gloves. So please tell me: why does Mickey Mouse wear gloves?

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