Ask Max Monday: It’s Okay to Let Go

Ask Max Monday

Hi, Max! I was looking at you catnip pillow/plaything in your photo, and wondered, what with all your worldly experience, what you recommend for the feline in need of a good time? I hasten to add that by that I mean nip, and not, well you know, what the humans shut the door on us for!!!
Purrs
ERin

That little nip pillow is awesome, and one of my favorite things. The other is my nip banana, but a very specific one. The best one, IMNSHO, is the YEOWWW banana. It’s got fantastic nip, the material is tough so you can really go at it, and it lasts a long time.

The little pillows were bought on Amazon, 2 to a pack, and like the banana, they have good nip inside. And Buddah hasn’t destroyed them yet, so I’d say they’re pretty sturdy. I like to grab one and rub it on my face, and once in a while, I even use one as a pillow.

You can’t go wrong with either of those. Great nip, great nip delivery systems.

= = =

Max. Dood. Tell me, am I the royal jerk in this situation?

I’m a gorgeous, svelte, 18-pound feline goddess with piercing green eyes that positively glitter against my absolute black fur. I am fun loving, affectionate, I purr loudly and often, and I give my human kisses on his nose practically on demand. I am everything a person could want in a cat, but do you know what he did? DO YOU?

He went to someone else’s home and PLAYED WITH THEIR DOG!

Well. I am hurt beyond words. He has me at home and went behind my back to play with that…well, you know.

When I realized this, when I smelled that DOG on him, I did what I thought any self-respecting feline would do. I peed all over his lap. I aimed quite well, too, as it made it appear that he had wet himself.

I should mention, he had a date over for dinner. She thought it was hilarious. He did not, and he spoke quite harshly to me, set me down on the floor, and WAGGED HIS FINGER AT ME as he said that was not a nice thing to do!

It wasn’t supposed to be nice; it was supposed to be revenge. But later I heard him call me “his little jerk.” Am I? Am I, Max? Am I the jerk here?

Kisses,

Mrs. Galliwinkles

Ahhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

:::deep breath:::

Ahhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

You are TOTALLY not the jerk. He got what he deserved, not to mention you could have done so much worse. Like, pooped on his pillow or in his shoes. I’m not sure what he expected, going out and whoring around with a dog, but that reward was just, and you are not the jerk.

Dood owes you an apology, steak, AND real live fresh dead shrimp.

And I hope he was being appropriately socially distant with his date. Cooties, you know.

= = =

Max,
You’re the wisest kitty we know. We are sitting at the screen door looking at our human outside on her swing. She is leaking all kinds of water from her eyes ever since she took our sister to the stabby guy earlier today. Our sister was really old (almost 20) and our human said the stabby place had to help her over the bridge. I know this is kind of a sensitive subject in your world right now. Can you help our human know that she did the right thing for our sister? I think she knows that somewhere deep down, but she is feeling guilty–like maybe there was something else she could have or should have tried. Our sister was her very first cat ever. I know she loves us all, but she seems to be taking this one extra hard. You always know what to say Max. Purrs, Itsie, Bit, & Pipsqueak

This is the absolute hardest thing about being owned by pets, knowing when to help them on their way, and then there are always questions rolling around in the back of one’s head.

But tell your human this, something the Woman is using as sort of a mantra, because my time is coming whether we like it or not: Better a week too soon than a day too late.

Look, we all know, I have very few days ahead of me compared to the ones behind me. I’m sure there are all kinds of things the stabby people could try to extend my life. But those things might not make it better, and compared to the life I’ve have, I’m pretty sure they won’t stack up in terms of quality.

Quality matters. And honestly, when you get to be my age—your sister’s age—adding days on is more for a person’s benefit. They don’t want to let us go and I think they feel the pain of it more than we do. Your person could have done a dozen things but the truth is that it would not have changed the inevitable. She spared your sister days that might not have been as comfortable as she deserved, and while it hurts deeply, it was a kindness.

Your sister was loved—hence, your person is leaking because there’s a cat-shaped hole in her heart right now—but I promise, helping her get to the Bridge was more important than finding one more thing to try to help her stay. It was compassionate, caring, and absolutely right.

I really do hope my people can make the decision to help me get there before my days are so much more less than they could be. I truly would rather go a week too soon than a day too late. I bet your sister felt the same.

Please pile on top of your human and purr for her. She needs it right now.

= = =

If you have questions, leave them in the comments or in email and I’ll get to them next week.

Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (3)

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  1. It’s a hard thing for a human to do to a loved one; so very hard!
    Super responses once again, Max!

  2. messymimi says:

    My vet says the right time is when the body has quit working and the mind just doesn’t quite know it yet. It’s a hard moment to pinpoint. You gave the best answer possible.

  3. Mary McNeil says:

    My friend knows an animal communicator and he has told her when her kitties are ready to move on to their next adventure. That is some comfort to the people the kitty owns.

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