Ask Max Monday: Just Say CHEEEEEZE

Ask Max Monday

Is there any way to convince a cat that treat time is once a day only?

Well, no.

How can it only be once a day?


Once a day.

(Just only give them treats once a day, and eventually they’ll come to expect it only once a day. This process takes approximately 9 years, 10 if you screw up one day and dispense treats twice.)

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I really can not believe humans wanting to kill over a chicken sandwich. Now had it been some sort of super tasty mouse fillet steak then I may have sent Mrs H out to queue, but really anything over a couple of minutes is a waste of time.
Talking of strange things humans do, wearing weird coloured trousers aside, what are the strangest things that you have seen humans do, Max?


Well, there’s the whole neon pink hair I wind up having to look at a few months out of the year. And the Woman reads out loud…not the books she buys, but the things SHE writes. And there’s the fun things, like bringing a tree inside the house for a month or so every winter. But what takes the cake is entirely unmentionable because young kitties might be reading, but it involves bouncing and nudity, and I am scarred for life for having seen it.

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Max, whysa peoples always clicking that boxy thing in my face?

Because you’re fabulous and they want to take pictures of you, then share them online for the whole world to enjoy. If you want to make them super happy, when they look like they’re going to take another picture, stick your tongue out a tiny bit. For some reason people go nuts over the Kitty Blep. Apparently, it’s like you’re being cute on steroids.

I know it’s annoying, but you’re gorgeous and they can’t help themselves.

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U.S. Doods…Turkey Day is on Thursday! HAPPY THANKSGIVING from Buddah and me!

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Got a question? Drop me a line at or leave it in the comments here.

Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (2)

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  1. Max, The Hubby and I will leave our happy home to drive to grandma’s house, to visit with relatives! Can you think of something LESS FUN than that? Luckily, the office is also closed on the Friday after T-giving, so I get to spend it with all of our kitties! Yay!

  2. Lenny says:

    Hi Max! Are the first 24 days of December long enough to make up for getting on Santa’s naughty list on each of the previous 11 months? I need an answer asap!


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