Ask Max Monday: Let’s ALL go Sledding!

Ask Max Monday Deer Max really what is wrong with smacking mine brofur down the stairs? The Mom really hollered at me for that. I say he just tripped over mine paw. She wasn’t there. She just saw him plopping down the last couple of steps. Would it have been really bad if I actually DID smack and he fell? Or if I stuck out mine paw and he tripped over it? Dood. You’re doing him a service. If his balance is so bad that he tumbles from a simple shove, then he needs to work on that. You’re just helping him out with that. Practice makes perfect, after all. Mix it up. Smack his asterisk down the stairs once, then stick your paw out. One of two things will happen: he’ll either find his balance really fast, or he’ll avoid the stairs. But really? It would be a lot more fun if you can find a cat sized box, get him in it, and then shove THAT down the stairs. It’s like sledding without snow! And it’s great fun. So much so, I bet you guys take turns and no one gets yelled at! Dear Max, With the warm weather upon us, I am thinking about holidays. Not for me as I’m too busy, but for Mrs H. Can you offer any suggestions as to where I send her, and how I can turn a small profit from it to offset the expense? Don’t even worry about the expense. Just get her credit card and use that to book her a trip to Hawaii. It’s supposed to be really nice there, and she won’t mind that you used her card. That’s like free money. Might as well use it when you can. Now, if you want to send her to someplace like one of those weird north Asian countries and really want the profit, I understand there are places on the dark web where you can sign her up to date other people while she’s there, and they’ll pay you for that. That seems like a win, too. She gets to go out to dinner and you get paid for it. What could possibly go wrong? Dear Max. It was cold. Now it’s hot. Like, in one week. What gives? Menopausal Mother Nature, I think. She can’t help it, but she might like it if we leave out chocolate and diet soda for her, and maybe a heating pad. Wait, that might be for PMS. Still, she might like it. Even menopausal ladies have to deal with PMS*. And gray hair. So maybe leave out some Just For Men, but the kind for ladies.
*Putting Up with Men’s…Stuff.
 

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Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (2)

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  1. Oh Max!
    You are quite the ‘stuff’ – stirrer!

  2. Edie Chase says:

    I myself might be interested in going to one of those weird north Asian countries. A dinner date sounds fantastic. I’m sure it’s completely safe.

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