Ask Max Monday: My Eyes. MY EYES!

Ask Max Monday

Max, why did it go all black this week? It was pretty cool. The humans couldn’t see and it wuz funny cuz we could see just fine. I can’t wait for it to go all black again.

The Northern California power outage is a complicated topic, but I’ll say this much: everything went black because rich people wanna get richer, and mumble-mumble-mumble-things about safety and stuff, but my gut says it was more about $$$.

I wouldn’t be in a huge hurry for it to happen again, though. Once is fun, especially when it’s not super-hot or super-cold outside, but winter is coming and it’s going to be chilly, and if there’s no power there’s no warm-air blowing thingy working, and then all of your useless nipples will be standing at attention. And no one wants to see that.

A very long time ago the people lived in North Dakota and the power went out for 4 or 5 days during a blizzard. I hear about that every time the power so much as flickers here because it sucked so hard for them. Yeah, that’s not something I want to go through. Clearly, it scarred them for life.

And thinking about it, I don’t want to go that long without my water fountain, and I need power for that to work. Without it, I would just get standing water, and that’s, like, peasant water.

= = =

Doods. If I don’t get more questions, the Woman is going to wear these pants again.

We can’t have that.

I’ll go blind.

Think of me, okay?

= = =

Got a question? Drop me a line at askmaxmonday@gmail.com or leave it in the comments here.

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About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (5)

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  1. Those pants should be illegal, Max!
    Here’s my question: Why can’t you talk Buddah into barfing on those pants, so they are ruined and must me dispatched to the Great Pants God in the sky? That will teach her…*evil grin*

  2. Cindy Pickworth says:

    Hi Max!
    YIKES! Those pant are ugly.
    I wrote to you last year about Halloween plastic spiders. Our human gets
    them for us to play with. We bat them around and chase them. Scare the humans! You said you wanted some. Did you get any??

    Paxx & Rosie

  3. Erin The Cat says:

    Dear Max
    Clearly we do not want more scary pants—or trousers as we in the UK say— so here is a question for you: What are your 5 best/favourite electrical appliances and why?
    Purrs
    ERin

  4. messymimi says:

    Power outages are awful, after a hurricane it can be weeks. You are right about not wanting it to happen again.

    Meanwhile, do you have any suggestions for getting the cats to quit sleeping on the clean laundry? It’s husband’s job to put it away, and he leaves it sit a while, and i need a way to make it unattractive to pets. Or am i doomed to wearing nothing but fuzzy clothes forever?

  5. I’m with you on the standing water, Max…and stripes…MOLPawkisses for a Happy Day to all of you

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