MAX!!! I think my peeple are WIKKINS! They lokt us in a room, and win we came out, the krissmiss tree wuz GON and thare wuz nuthin but a pile of needuls ware it had been. I think they used BLAK MAJIK to make it disappeer. Can they make US disappeer? And how menny sleeps until Krissmiss comes bak? The big fat lard cat sez it will be THREE of my lifetimes. He’s joking, rite???
There are 3,076,154 sleeps until next Christmas, but it only feels like three lifetimes. It’s inversely proportional to your age, so it might even feel like FOUR lifetimes, but the sleeps don’t change. Get yourself a piece of paper and a pen, and for every sleep make a little line on it. When you hit 3.076,154, it’s Christmas and Santa will bring you things.
I dunno about the tree, though. The same thing happened here. I went to take a nap and when I got up, the entire Whovimas tree with all its shiny Whovimas ornaments was gone. There were needles on the floor, too, and I can’t explain that because our tree was fake, which really sucks when you want to chew on a tree branch.
So I don’t think you live with witches or warlocks or anything, but make no mistake, they can make you disappear. It usually means you wind up at the stabby place with a thermometer up your asterisk, and no one likes that. So be wary, because you never know.
Dooood it’s been raining here like a ton and pretty soon the house is going to float away and take all my stuff with it and I am not cool with that and I read it’s raining a lot where you are too, so what are you going to do?
This, dood. One more day of rain, and I’m waiting for Noah.
Max dood – I found the bestest way to get the mom awake in the middle of the night – get unner the covers and start petting her butt with your paw. Guaranteed it will make her jump about elebenty feet in the air and then, since she’s up, you can get her to feed you.
Biting things you find under the covers works, too. Especially if they’re dangly things.
Though I wouldn’t bite anything dangling from a butt…just in case.
A cold nose on a boob works, too. Well, for getting a person up. They’re not so keen on opening cans after that.
I, like all decent male cats, consider hygiene to be very important. So of course, I keep myself clean, and that includes my nether regions.
However, when my humans see me sit back and hike a leg up, they get upset and tell me to stop that, and to go wash in private.
Why? They bathe. Why does it bother them when I do?
They dream about being able to wash themselves the way we do. So go ahead and remind them of their shortcomings…maybe it will inspire them to work out and become more flexible.
Max! I treid shrimps for the first time. Are there more? WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN ALL MY LIFE?
In the ocean, dood.
And there might be more, but I intend to get there first.
Still, ask your people. Maybe they’ll find a stash that I don’t know about.