Hi Max! Say, the pawparrazzi have been crazy, crazy at my house – hiding around every corner! How do I keep them at bay at least while I’m bathing, napping & eating?!
Every time they stick that camera in your face, attack. Jump on them while growling and hissing, and if you need to, stick your claws out. If you do that often enough, they’ll back off. I mean, you might wind up on medication, but hey…they might be fun drugs.
Hey Max, how many times did you watch Dr Who yesterday?
There was a marathon, so, like 10. But if you just mean the new one, not many. 3 times. Not many.
My lady person asks me every morning about the skins she’s gonna wear and sometimes she asks if it makes her look fat. WHAT DO I SAY? It feels like a trick.
Dood. This is easy. You look her dead in the eye and say, “That’s not what makes you look fat.” Trust me, she’ll thank you for it.
Can I really eat pizza?
Sure, why not? I eat pizza. It just has to be pizza made without garlic or onions. And really, I just get a bite od the cheese with a tiny bit of sauce on it. It’s not like I get a whole freaking pizza to myself. Same thing with Twinkies. I’d like to have an entire one, but really, the Woman just puts some of the cream on her finger and I lick it off. Maybe I get a tiny bit of the cake part. Just use common sense; tiny bites as a treat.
Max…I don’t have any cats, but I would like to have a couple of them. I know you’ve said before you never learned to like Buddah; I don’t want to wind up with cats that hate each other, so what would you have done to make him like you?
If I hadn’t gotten so sick when Buddah came to live with us, things might be different. I didn’t have the energy to teach him how to be a cat, but if I had, he probably wouldn’t be such a pain and I might like him. We do co-exist in the same house without any real problems, though. We fight sometimes, but then so do cats that like each other.
You can up your odds of getting your cats to like each other, though. Maybe consider getting littermates; they’re already used to each other and probably play together a lot. Or you could search for an older, bonded pair of cats. It’s super hard for shelters to place older paired cats together, and giving them a forever home would be awesome. Don’t worry about them being too old to adapt to your home…they’ll figure out pretty quick that you have the thumbs, and the one with the thumbs is the one you suck up to. You can bathe in cat nip, too. That’ll help.
MAX WHY IS THERE MONDAY? EVERYONE HATES MONDAY.
There’s Monday because without it, everyone would hate Tuesday. And who wants to hate Tuesday? Tuesday never did anything to anyone. Tacos are on sale on Tuesday. It’s a great day. Ask Max Monday is on Mondays.
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