Ask Max Monday: Ok, She’s Better

Ask Max Monday Deer Na  Dude Youse know mine little sisfur Sugar well most of de tyme wez gud. But lately she uz acting like a poop head  Iz started getting acne bumps and de mama drags me to de Vet to get dem check out and popped sum tymes  When I getz home already feeling shitty fur having to go to stabby place she spends de rest of de nite hizzzing at me. What gives.  I was only gone one hour not over night.  I have to go again and I is not looking forward to attitude from little miss  Your Canuck fan Oakley Tell her this: if she doesn’t quit being mean to you after going to the stabby place, your mom is going to start taking HER along, too, so that you both smell the same after. That’s why she hisses—you don’t smell right anymore. But sometimes the solution is to take both kitties in at the same time, so if she doesn’t want to have to get stuffed into a PTU and taken somewhere she might be stabbed n the butt by an overl enthusiastic stabby guy, then she needs to chill and be nice. And I feel your pain about the acne. I get it on my chin, too. The solution for me was a super shallow, not-stainless-steel dish. For some reason stainless steel does it to me, and too-deep dishes does, too. I don’t get taken in to get them popped, though. Just get my face washed which I TOTALLY HATE. Hi Max, I hope the woman is feeling better! Do you kitties know when your people are sick? I’ve been a little off lately and my Kitty takes every opportunity to jump up on my lap or lay on me or curl up with me (which she doesn’t usually do). Is she trying to help me get better? Or trying to lay on my head to suffocate me? Thanks for your wisdom Max! Lots of Love, Kitty Calais servant mother! She’s feeling loads better, thanks. I know when my People are getting sick and I try hard to sit on them and make them feel better. I’m pretty sure other kitties do, too. I mean, if we let you get too sick, who would open cans for us and give us crunchy treats and the occasional real life fresh dead steak or shrimp? We have a vested interest in your ongoing health. I take my job pretty seriously, too. Once, the Woman was super sick, like sicker than she had ever been before, and I knew right away my job was to make sure no one bothered her. So you know what I did? I GROWLED AT THE MAN. I wouldn’t let him get near her during her misery. At first he was upset, but then he understood I was just doing my job, so he rewarded me with crunchy treats. People smell different when they’re sick, so that’s a clue. And the whole being curled up in a ball in bed is a hint, too. When Calais jumps on you she’s probably trying to engage in a little purr therapy, which is scientifically proven to cure 27.89% of the world’s ills. Now that the Woman is feeling better, we’re getting back to work—the next Wick After Dark book is with the editor and we’re SUPER close to finishing a novella that will be part of The Wick Chronicles—but for tonight and maybe tomorrow, I think this is what I’ll be doing: It’s a hard life, eh?  

Got a question for me? You can leave it in the comments below, or drop me an email at askmaxmonday@gmail.com.

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Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (3)

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  1. Yep, Angel used to hiss like crazy at Chuck, after his vet visits! We did everything that the experts tell you to do (take ’em both, wipe ’em down with cloth and swap the scents, Rescue Remedy, and more..) but it never helped. The vet’s offices should know about this, and do something, doncha think?

  2. Excellent advice there and I’m making Mrs H read this too so she knows what to expect in an emergency. Definitely when ones humans are sick CPR (Cat Products Required) is a must so I can carry on my caring duties with minimal down time… off the bed that is MOL
    Toodle pips
    ERin

  3. Angel (and Gandalf) says:

    Max, and Oakley, another solution for chin acne is those towlettes for humans to clean eye makeup off. They come in single-use packets, and are just wet and soapy. My hoomin uses these on me because my white chin gets blackheads which are completely inconsistent with my image as Princess Pinknose Puffytail! My hoomin keeps the towlettes on the knitting table in front of the TV, so when she watches and I come for her lap, she washes my chin. I don’t like this but somehow I keep coming back to her lap . . . and at least my pretty white chin doesn’t get those horrible embarrassing blackheads!

    Your faithful fan,
    Angel

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