Ask Max Monday: Oops

June 26, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday

HAY DOOD! WUTS WITH THE HOTS? HERE’S MY QWESCHUN: THE LADEY TOOK ME IN THE BIG SILVER MASHEEN THAT HAD ****AIR KUNDISHUNNING***. THAT IS BLOWY COLD AIR THAT I JUST COODN’T GIT ENUF OF. I WUZ REELY GETTIN IN TO IT CUZ WE DO NOT HAVE AIR KUNDISHING INSIDE OWR HOWSE. BUT THE LADEY STOPPED THE BIG SILVER MASHEEN AND TOOK ME TO THE STABBY PLACE!!!!! THE STABBY PLACE HAD AIR KUNDISHUNNING TOO, BUT I HAD TO GIT STABBED AND POKED AND PRODDED TO GIT THEM TO LET ME STAY. SO HOW DO I GIT THE LADEY TO DRIVE ME AROWND IN THE BIG SILVER MASHEEN WITH THE AIR KUNDISHUNNING EVRY DAY WHEN THE HOTS ARE HEER ***WITHOWT*** TAKING ME TO THE STABBY PLACE?

Dood, it would be so much easier to sneak onto the computer, get on Amazon, and order an air conditioner for the house. We have the kind that blows through the whole house, but you can get a portable one that can be moved from room to room, and all it needs is a window so that it has a place to fart.

Yeah, that’s the downside. It farts out a window. But since it’s aimed right outside, you never smell anything.

The Man has one in his room because the back of the house gets hot. He also has one in the garage because he’s delicate and doesn’t want to play with his wood out there when it’s too warm.

Getting one of those would be so much better than having to get in the car.

MAX IT’S MONDAY NIGHT AND YOUR ASK MAX STUFF ISN’T ONLINE PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T CROAK!

I did not croak.

I had a brain fart.

I thought today was Sunday, even though there were Monday things on the TV today. Even though I watched the newest Doctor Who on Saturday.

I’m gonna blame the Woman. She slept really weird Saturday night, like not being able to sleep until 6 in the morning Sunday morning and waking up at 11, which threw the whole day off and by 9 last night she was super sleepy and neither one of us clicked into HEY IT’S SUNDAY AND YOU HAVE WORK TO DO.

So yeah, totally her fault.

To make up for being late, here’s a picture of me with a taco on my head.

 

Got a question for me?
You can leave it in the comments below,
or drop me an email at askmaxmonday@gmail.com.

You can also find me on Facebook.

 

 

 

Category: 0 - Featured, Ask Max Monday, Humor, Last Week, zzz Previous 3 cat articles

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hits, "The Emperor of San Francisco" and "Ozoo" [The Wick Chronicles].

Comments (7)

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  1. Max…really, a taco? And on your head? Humans need to get in the habit of driving around with their kitties in the car. Knowing that you are going to the stabby place is no fun!

  2. What is it with the peeps forgetting what dang day it is? Our mom goes on vacation or whatever and is then screwed up for weeks on end. Shouldn’t they be smart than that? (PS – glad you were just late and not dead)

  3. Pee Jay says:

    My Cindy Siamese used to take long trips in the car back and forth New Mexico to Arizona. As long as she could sit on a lap and not be in the crate she loved it. And as an added bonus the border patrols that set up stations and make you stop and declare your citizenship wave you right through when they see a loose cat in the car. (and now you know how to sneak into the country).

  4. Pete Hartley says:

    Max don’t feel bad, Our dad loses days sometimes. He says it has to do with being retired. He has one of the room A/C units in his work shop too and our friend Henri (the neighborhood kitty) has been hanging out there so much that one of our neighbors came over to ask of we had seen him. (he has half a dozen homes that he visits and gets meals at each house.) He usually spends the day napping in one of the neighbors boats in their carport, but since it’s been so hot he has opted for dad’s workshop. He finally figured out how to use the pet door.

  5. I could totally dig the taco if, it had a cream and a mouse on it. Failing that I think you needs the peeps to get air-con. My peep hasn’t and we get into all sorts of calendar mishaps, even skipped a couple of months one year and peep nearly phoned the papers to say how unusual it was for a heatwave at Christmas. MOL
    ERin

  6. Sammy Meezer says:

    Max, know what’s fun? Besides cramming your nose up the mom’s nostri? Or biting her boob while she sleeps? Peeing on the v-e-t. Man that kind of a little bit made up for him telling me bad news.

  7. Connie says:

    the taco totally makes up for it

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