Ask Max Monday: Reed Mohr Buhks!

Ask Max Monday

Eww, they are getting other animals germs on them! Where are the hazmat suits, Max?
So, here’s my question for you, Max: since you are an author of books, do you read books too? Or listen to audiobooks?

I don’t think anyone can be a halfway decent writer if they don’t read. Every day I sit in the Woman’s lap, or we curl up on the bed, and read. I basically read what she does, since she has the thumbs and can both hold the books and turn the pages…or the Kindle and swipe to the next page. It’s just a lot easier when someone does the manual labor involved in reading.

I like a pretty wide variety of things, too. Mostly science fiction and borderline fantasy, but contemporary mainstream fiction works for me, too. I dig a good memoir. And I tend to go on author-tears: right now I’m reading a lot of N.K. Jemisin, but before that I was reading a lot of John Scalzi. Cory Doctorow. Deborah Harkness.

Audiobooks are cool, too, and we have an Audible subscription, but listening to one just isn’t the same as stretching out and reading. The Woman likes them when she’s taking really long walks, but she says it’s kinda tricky. If you’re listening to something funny and start laughing loud when you’re crossing the street, people give you Looks. Like, do we need to call for help? Are you all right?

(And totally aside from everything, she also says if you’re carrying a soft drink that looks like a beer bottle, you get even harsher looks.)

But yeah, I dig reading, and do a lot of it.

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It’s not easy for us to get used to these stupid time changes, either. How i long for an end to it.

Meanwile, is there any way to encourage a cat to groom itself better? We have one that i call a lazy groomer, he seldom grooms himself and ends up with knots in his fur and hates being brushed.

I’ve gotten kinda lazy in the last couple of years, too. Turned out my thyroid was wonky, which made me look scraggly, and I just wasn’t putting much effort into it. And it didn’t help that I super hate being brushed.

The first thing was making sure that nothing was wrong—in my case, there was. But the Woman also searched for a brush that I might finally accept, and she found one. It’s a human brush, made from boar hair bristles, and it’s super soft. I don’t mind being brushed with this one since it feels like being petted. She got it at Walmart for like $4, and it’s made by Goody.

If he’s not bathing enough, there are also pet wipes you can use. He probably won’t like that, either, but he’s gotta get a bath one way or the other. And if he’s getting knots and mats, you don’t want to yank on them to get them loose. It’s kind of a gentle pull side to side to work them out, so that it doesn’t feel like you’re trying to jerk his furs out.

As long as he’s healthy, I’d keep looking for the right brush. It took the Woman 17 years to find one I liked. There was never a cat brush that didn’t feel too ouchy for me, but the human one she got is nice.

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Max have you tried the chicken sandwich everyone is all excited about? Is it good? Is it worth it? Enquiring brains want to know.

I have not.

Likely, I will not.

I mean, I like chicken and all, but there’s no chicken out there worth this much excitement. People are freaking beating each other up over it. I saw video footage on the news last night, some employee slamming a 54-year-old woman onto the ground over it. More footage of a man punching the daylights out of a woman who had apparently cut in line. Someone was killed over it.

Yeah, no.

I’ll just stay home and wait for someone here to either bake some chicken or throw some in the slow cooker. It’s probably tastier, anyway. I don’t begrudge anyone that particular sandwich, but I can’t see it being tasty enough to wait in line more than a few minutes, and definitely not good enough to incite violence.

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Got a question? Drop me a line at askmaxmonday@gmail.com or leave it in the comments here.

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Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (4)

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  1. Max, I agree with TW: laughing out loud can make other folks look askance! I listen to my audiobooks in my car, while on my walks, and sometimes when taking a bath (phone on counter). I know that I LOL and get questioning looks, but I keep moving, and no one has yet approached me asking if I’m okay, or if I’ve taken my meds for the day!

  2. Hollis says:

    Max & Food Lady!! I have never commented before, even though I love your posts. But, the BRUSH recommendation is so great I have to say thank you. I will see if the local Walmart (which is very sad Walmart) has these nifty soft brushes. Both Fluffin Muffin and Ms. Freckles the Psycho could use an occasional brushing. (Me too).

  3. messymimi says:

    You have excellent taste in reading.

    Thank you for the information about the brush, i will go get one.

    The company that came out with the sandwiches is based near here and the lines are blocking traffic. Many people are just giving up and going to the competition, the sandwiches there are very good.

    Is there any way to convince a cat that treat time is once a day only?

  4. Erin the Cat says:

    I really can not believe humans wanting to kill over a chicken sandwich. Now had it been some sort of super tasty mouse fillet steak then I may have sent Mrs H out to queue, but really anything over a couple of minutes is a waste of time.
    Talking of strange things humans do, wearing weird coloured trousers aside, what are the strangest things that you have seen humans do, Max?

    ERin

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