Ask Max Monday: REED MOHR BUHKS!

Ask Max Monday

Max, how sweet that you bought a bicycle for your meowmy! I like that she celebrates her birthday for a whole month; I try to do the same! My birthday, however, is in a cold month, so I always have changeable weather. My next birthday is a BIG ONE, so what do you suggest that I do as a present to myself? Thanks, Max!

Ohhhh for really BIG birthdays, you should treat yourself to a trip to someplace warm and fun where there are lots of good things to eat and you get a lot of exercise, because that always makes a person feel good.

This place is called COSTCO.

I know it’s awesome and fun and warm because the people are always talking about the free food they get to eat when they’re there, and how much fun it is to walk up and down the aisles, and they’re always happy when they come home as long as they don’t think about how much it cost them.

That’s true of any vacation, really. But COSTCO sounds like the idea place to celebrate a birthday, especially with all the free food.

Oh! And they have GIANT packs of toilet paper. People really seem to dig giant packs of toilet paper. Go nuts, buy two! Also, if you don’t get enough free food while basking in the warmth of the never-ending aisles, you can get a WICKED huge wiener at the food court and it comes with a drink.

Really.

Huge.

Wiener.

What else could a person want? In fact, I think I’m going to suggest that as the celebratory destination for the people’s wedding anniversary this year. They usually like to go to San Francisco, but I don’t think that’s ever made them as happy as COSTCO.

= = =

Max, we sure hope Sandy Claws isn’t in the Bahamas right now! But let’s hope that he visits them after the storm passes, OK? Can he do off-season visits like that?

Also, we want to thank you for convincing our human to get to know The Doctor. We’ve had so much fun sitting with her watching those adventures.

I’m pretty sure that Santa has access to emergency evacuation transportation. Once word came out that the hurricane was bearing down, he jumped in his sleigh (in the middle of the night so no one saw him) and buggered out.

I don’t know that he can visit the Bahamas right now, though. There are probably all kinds of air controls around it, keeping out anyone but Important Official People, and as hard as it is to stay away, he’ll probably honor that. It doesn’t do any good for him to get in the way, and right now those people don’t need toys. They need homes, and that’s beyond even Santa’s scope.

And I’m totally stoked you like the Doctor! I’m already itching for the next season, which won’t happen until 2020. It feels like freaking forever!

= = =

Max, I’m bored and I need something new to read. I’m heading for the library tomorrow. What should I look for?

Oh, dood…right now I’m reading the Broken Earth trilogy by N.K. Jemisin, and it’s really good. If you haven’t read that yet, look for it. The Woman also picked up a copy of Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson for me, and the Man says it’s superb (but also leads into a long series…so keep that in mind.)

Oh, and Good Omens if you haven’t read that. It’s good for an annual reading. The series on Amazon was awesome, too.

I also recently read The Savage Song by Victoria Schwab and dug it. There’s a sequel called Our Dark Duet but I haven’t gotten to it yet. I bought it, though, and if it’s like the first book, it’s worth a read.

But if I had to pick just one…I’d get the first book in the Broken Earth trilogy. It’s called The Fifth Season. Trust me, read that and you’ll wish you’d gotten the next two.

= = =

Got a question? Drop me a line at askmaxmonday@gmail.com or leave it in the comments here.

 

 

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About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (3)

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  1. Oh my word, Max! I’ve never been to COSTCO before, so I’ll make sure to go for my BIG birthday.

  2. Oooh, sounds like I need to move to Costco land, for sure; where is that exactly as I can’t see it on the map of upper Much-Mousing? As to the Big S, I know he will have his paws on circumstance and will drop in where most needed.
    Purrs
    ERin

  3. Jana says:

    Hi Max, Mahm sez I make a better door than a windo. Wut duz dat mean?! (Dis jennerly happen in bed rite befor she deeside I dont get to sit on her buhk or nekk or teevee stan no more.) Fanks, Gracie

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