Ask Max Monday: School’s Back In Session!

Ask Max Monday

Hi Guys!

Did you get the woman a present? We never get our humans a present. We are all the gifts they need!

Paxx & Rosie

I got her a new bicycle. She thinks she bought it for herself, but we all know the truth. It was me. All me. I let her pick out the color because it came in black or in white and she coulda gone either way—she chose white—but other than that? Yep. Me. And I think she likes it since she’s ridden it a few times already.

I should feel bad for her other bikes because she’s not riding them, but I don’t.

Max bike is best bike.

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DOODMAX WHAT DID THE WOMAN DO FOR HER BIRTHDAY? WAS IT FUN?

Damned if I know. I slept through most of it. I know she had plans that fell through because she has insomnia and was kind of sleepy all day, but I dunno what she did other than drool all over herself (which, face it, at her age could be from fatigue or because she gets senior discounts now.)

I wonder if I would get senior discounts. I mean, I’m 18, which in people years is like 90. I bet I would get discounts. Or even freebies.

I should see if Cattlemen’s delivers and if I get her discount and my discount together. That might even be worth free real live fresh dead steak.

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Hi de wise an wondefur Max

itz me Oakley from Canuckland..youse was rite…mine operation and mine dental went fur well.  Well except Iz had a problem with de afur pain meds didn’t agree wid me an was stopped afur de second day.  De chin lump only needed a couple of stichez too, which Iz tink will makez me look cool to de lady cats..like a toff guy de bad boy hahahaha

Iz only lost one tooth which dey gave mine meomwie.  Oh wise one , how much iz a kitty tooth worth to de tooth fairy?  Iz tink at least a new bag of Pure Bites chicken or liver snacks.  What do youse tink?

Mine sisfur, Sugar, whoz has a crush on youse, and mez is off fur our last RrrrVeee trip ob de summer befur our meowmie goez back to work az a skool crossing guard.  Wez was amazing on de five week summer trip an nowz consider ourownselfz season travelers.

Tankz youse for keeping our meowmie calm during mine dental, it was  greatly appricated and Iz get at least a week break from de toothbush until de Vettie does a recheck of de gum to make sure itz okay to start again

Your Canadian fanz

Oakley and Sugar

Dood, I’m glad it went well! I’m pretty sure the tooth fairy brings sticky people a dollar or five, which is the equivalent of a new bag of Pure Bites. Maybe you’ll get lucky and she’ll either bring both, or enough cash for both!

Have fun on the trip. I don’t think I would enjoy it much, being that I would have t leave the house, but if you dig it, enjoy the bejeezuz out of it! Just take lots of pictures. I always like it when people post their pictures on Facebook. Vacations and food are the best, despite what the whiners think.

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THE STICKY PEOPLE WENT BACK TO SCHOOL! DOES THIS MEAN SANTA WILL COME SOON?

Sooner rather than later, I suppose. You only have roughly 8,921 sleeps to go, and then Christmas will be here.

You don’t have to worry about being super good until there are only 572 left, though. I’m pretty sure he’s on vacation in the Bahamas or Las Vegas right now, and he’s not really paying attention.

I hope not, anyway. Otherwise I have to answer for letting Buddah take the blame for the poop outside the litterbox today.

= = =

Got a question? Drop me a line at askmaxmonday@gmail.com or leave it in the comments here.

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About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (2)

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  1. Max, how sweet that you bought a bicycle for your meowmy! I like that she celebrates her birthday for a whole month; I try to do the same! My birthday, however, is in a cold month, so I always have changeable weather. My next birthday is a BIG ONE, so what do you suggest that I do as a present to myself? Thanks, Max!

  2. Angel and Gandalf says:

    Max, we sure hope Sandy Claws isn’t in the Bahamas right now! But let’s hope that he visits them after the storm passes, OK? Can he do off-season visits like that?

    Also, we want to thank you for convincing our human to get to know The Doctor. We’ve had so much fun sitting with her watching those adventures.

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