Ask Max Monday: The Truncated Edition

Ask Max Monday

I’m sure you’ve told this story before, but how did you come to live with The Woman and The Man? Thanks.

Gabriel’s Mom

Long story short, I was kind of a rescue. When I was a tiny kitten I lived with friends of the Younger Human who couldn’t afford me, so he brought me home to live with the Man and the Woman. Long story properly told…read my book BITE ME. Heh. See what I did there? MARKETING OPPORTUNITY.

It really is a lovely story and totally worth getting.

Max, we kitties live wife woofers. One woofy is big chicken! He is scairt of us kitties! He is bug fat woofy but he will not come close to any kitteh, not even the tiny outside kitten (not ours, we fink is neybors but we is not sure)
We don’t has qwestion we just wants to share. Is funny that big woofy is scairt of tiny kitten.

Hahahaha I love it when great big dogs are afraid of tiny little things. He probably thinks you’re a cootie and are going to bite him and turn him into a vampire or something.

When I lived with Hank the Dog, he wasn’t afraid of me or other small animals, but kites sent him into a panic, He’d stand in the back yard and bark his damned head off, even though not one time did a kite come down and eat him. He barked at airplanes, too, but he gets a pass on that because if one came down, it would be really bad news.

Dear Doods,

The Woman is off watching That Damned Dog Butters and his little sister Lady, so I don’t have access to my email and I forgot to make her check it before she left, so if you emailed a question (askmaxmonday@gmail.com in case you need it)(but for questions not to sell me krap or ask me to hawk your stuff on my blog) it won’t get answered until next week. I thought about texting her, but she took her phone, too. I might be able to get to her on Facebook, but it’s starting to sound like work, and I have a nap to take.

I’d ask the Man to help, but I don’t think he knows the password. Plus…nap.

Have a magnificent week, y’all!

 

Max.

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Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured, Last Week, zzz Previous 3 cat articles

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (3)

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  1. C. Pickworth says:

    Hey Max!

    A couple of months ago my humans wrote asking for advice about getting me a companion. We had just lost our senior kitty a few months before and they thought I was lonely. You said if they wanted another kitty to go ahead and I would be all right. WRONG!! Our new addition is a 10 year old female tortie named Rosie. That certainly does not fit her personality. She tolerates my humans but hates me! She hisses! She growls! She swipes at me and she has CLAWS!! I would never hit a lady but I am not safe in my own house! HELP!!!!

    Paxx

  2. Juliea and Izzy says:

    To C. Pickworth- she sure picked the wromg Kitty in my experience. Tortoiseshell and Calicos become very ornery in their old age, er, when they grow up. These gurrl kitties are tuff and want to be the boss. A nice sweet little tabbie is almost always a good fit for a new brother or sisfur in my opinion. Either gray or orange or red. They seem to be the most laid back to me. But there are a lot of other breeds/patterns that have calm purrsonalities too. Just not Calicos and Torties. They even become hissy and grumpy to their own loving mommies in my opinion. And they definitely need to be the Numero Uno Kitty.

    • Mousebreath Magazine says:

      Just chiming in to agree…. torties and calicos tend to be alpha cats and are better suited to one-cat households. Tabbies are pretty chill and friendly, esp the orangies.

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