Ask Max Monday: The Tuesday Edition

Ask Max Monday

Are you related in any degree to our Baby Su? You do share certain character traits. Just sayin’.

I might be. Who knows? As far as I know my parents were random alley cats who met while on a Nip bender behind the 7-11 at 4 a.m. I could be related to a whole bunch of kitties. Maybe we’re cousins a few times removed. About the only things I’m sure of is that I was likely born in Vacaville, California in June 2002, and the first people who had me couldn’t take care of me. But man, think about it…there’s a good chance I have, like, 500,341 siblings out there somewhere.

Hay Max, Wut do you git more points for, 1) pulling strings of lites offa da krissmiss tree and hiding them beehind the cowch, 2) Killing an ornamint wile its still on the krissmiss tree so that it hangs thare with a big gaping hole in its side that screams, “OK Cat you wun this rownd,” or 3) Making the krissmiss tree faint?

I would give pulling strings of lights off the tree and hiding them the most points, because it involves a level of difficulty and dexterity the others lack. However, I think all are worthy endeavors, and if you can manage all three before New Year’s Day, you totally win Holiday Season 2016.

MAX! You’re not getting any younger, so when can I expect that date you promised me a hundred years ago? Love, Weezer

WEEZER! You went and moved OUT OF THE COUNTRY so it’s a little difficult for me to come get you and take you out for dinner or a movie or anything. And that’s a shame, because the 2nd Tuesday of next week is coming up really soon, but I don’t have a way to get to you. I’d borrow the Woman’s rumbly bike, but 1 – my paws don’t reach the handlebar and 2 – I don’t think it floats. Sorry.

Max…it’s Tuesday. You’re supposed to do Ask Max Monday. MONDAY. What the heck, dood?

Ok, here’s the thing…I usually upload everything late Sunday night, but Sunday was Doctor Who all day long, and Sunday night was the Doctor Who Christmas special, and after that the Woman had to clean up wrapping paper and stuff because she and the Man opened their presents to each other in the evening because he was asleep all day, and we kinda lost track of time.

So yesterday, because we usually do it on Sunday night, we kinda lost track of more time, and then the Younger Human and his Much Better Half came over and the people all went out to have dinner together, which apparently required the imbibing of a lot of Stupid Drinks, because the Woman was all kinds of drunk for the rest of the night, and it’s never a good idea for her to drink and type.

So here we are, Tuesday morning at almost 10 a.m. She doesn’t have a hangover, but she slept in a bit because being drunk seems to also mean staying up way later than usual, so I’m uploading it all a bit too late.

Sorry, doods. It’s totally her fault. Hers and Doctor Who’s.

HAPPY NEW YEAR DOODS!!!

Got a question for me?
You can leave it in the comments below,
or drop me an email at askmaxmonday@gmail.com.

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About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (1)

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  1. Hnossa says:

    Hello Max,

    Me and my human mommy binge watched Dr. Who all day and evening, too. I was nice and let her up to use the litter box room a few times, and to feed me.

    It was the BEST! Dr Who and treats all day and evening!

    But I have a question.

    How many more sleeps till the new season?

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