Ask Max Monday: Week in Review

Ask Max Monday

All right, doods, I hope you’re all doing well and your people aren’t driving you six kinds of nuts while they’re staying at home interrupting all your naps. I’ve had it pretty easy; the Woman has always worked from home and the only thing that really changed is that she can’t take breaks to go write at Starbucks a few times a week. She sits in her chair with the computer and types while I dictate, then we get food, write some more, eat some more…one of us might be gaining weight but it sure as heck isn’t me.

That might be the only different thing for her right now; she’s kinda using the whole I HAVE TO STAY HOME thing to equal EAT ALL THE THINGS which I totally get. Doods, of your people gain a few pounds during all this, the world will not end, and in fact that might make them a little happier. Have some cake. Or brownies. Or cookies. I’m pretty sure all three have made an appearance here in the last month.

Now, how my little world WILL change over the next ten days: the Man will be off work. He put in to get next weekend off months ago, and even though he works in a hospital, the OR is not slammed right now and he was told to go ahead and take it off. I’m sure the people planned on things to do, but since they’re taking the whole STAY HOME thing seriously, they’re not going to do any of it, which means I’ll have two people to supervise for the time being.

So what have I been doing besides working?

I dictated a lot. We’re working on a new Wick short, one that came to me in a dream, so it’s super rough right now. But it has Lux in it, and I’ve been wanting to write more about him.

Being an old man, if I ask for the fireplace, I tend to get it. It hasn’t even been cold, but all I’ve had to do is get really close to it and meow, and it gets turned on. I know it makes the Woman sweat, but when I ask she calls me her Raggedy Man, and flips the switch. I’m gonna enjoy it while I can, because I know hot weather is coming soon and even if she wanted to, it’ll just be miserable if I ask.

I humored Buddah by getting onto his cat tree with him. I very rarely get any higher than on the sofa now, so this was a special treat and he didn’t even try to make me get down.

But this…the people had to go looking for some food stuffs this week and went into Costco for meat. And they found packs of ribeye steaks, 4 to a pack, and bought two of them. The Man will eat 2, maybe, and the Woman probably none, so that means I’ll get 6 all for myself (I’ll share if Buddah wants, but he’s not a big fan of people food.) I don’t get it all at once; the Woman cuts it into slices, and heats up a little bit twice a day for me. This one will last about a week, maybe a little less. So I’m set for steak treats for a while.

So. There were no questions last week (and my brain was numb so I didn’t write anything, sorry) nor this week. I hope it’s because you’re all busy and no one is sick.

Be well, doods, and remember, you can ask a question by leaving it in the comments, or if you don’t want everyone to see it beforehand, email me at askmaxmonday -at- gmail dot com.

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Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (8)

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  1. Max, as long as you are properly pampered…er, um…treated, then all is well in the world!
    Sorry, cannot think of a question for you right now, but if I do, I’ll be back to comment again.

  2. Friday says:

    Hi Max!
    I don’t know what to do about the kitty that lives outside the window. I used to be a feral but now I am an inside girl. There is another kitty that is feral but she does not want to be inside. But Max, that is good because I do not like her! She comes In my yard by my window and insults me. I call her all the werds from the bad werd list and she just sticks her tongue out at me. I hear she also gets to eat my tuna. I am good at the drama and I tell her all the things I will do to her if I get my paws on her. She just rolls around on the ground. And then she makes fun of my ear tip – hers is the same! How can I make her afraid of me? I need some respect!
    Love,
    (Black) Friday

  3. Vittoria Lilliana says:

    Hi Max, even if there are no questions, we wanted to let you know how much we enjoy reading your e-mail every Monday! And especially seeing pictures of you and Buddha!
    Love from your 23 fans in the Los Padres National Forest, California

  4. mike hartley says:

    Hey max, I’m a tuxie too and I’m just had my sixteenth birthday, so I know what you mean about slowing down as you get older. My dad is old too, so he relates and I can pretty much have treats any time I want them all I have to do is meow. I just wanted to thank you for sending us a smile or two while all of this sad stuff is going on!

    Purrs to you from Pete and dad Mike

  5. Erin says:

    Dear Max
    I am glad to hear you are getting good treats and warmsies by the fireplace. We don’t have a fire place, but my favorite place during the day is a velvet chair which has to be vacuumed often amongst lots of swears by my mum, even though she puts a blanket on it, because I’m just blest with furs in all seasons.

    I’m kinda with Buddah on the people food; I’ve never cared for it. My mum says she has never had a cat that didn’t like people food and she is kinda of in awe – which is appropriate. I am totally pawesome.

    I am a grey and white tuxie, 10 years young this June, and love it every morning when the patio door is open and I can go out and roll around, rush back in and five minutes later want to do it all over again. This drives the woman batty, but she says she is so grateful not to be alone like so many of her friends now that she won’t complain. Well much. When I start the dinner yowl at 3:00 she gets a bit irked. Food o’clock is 5 am (earlier if she leaves her bedroom door open) and 5 pm ( or a bit earlier if I can be really yowlie) I also have her trained to throw treat kibbles every night at 7:00 pm all over the apartment so I can chase them down. It is so much fun!

    I need a new cat tree and I was noticing yours in the picture. Could you tell me where you got it?
    Take care of yourself and your humans – we really like hearing from you each week:)
    Miz Furbie

  6. messymimi says:

    You rate steak and the fireplace, wow! You really do have your peeps well trained.

    Any training tips for younger cats?

  7. Toffee says:

    Max,
    I didn’t realize you had such a lo-on-ggg tail!
    Toffee

  8. KesterGayle says:

    Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us, Max! You are much beloved in our family. Questions or not, I always look forward to your insights on how to rule the world.

    Peace and good health to you and yours.

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