Ask Max Monday: You Got the Right Stuff

Ask Max Monday

Hey Max, I’ve caught more than a cupple of mice in my time, and not a single one has worn gloves. So please tell me: why does Mickey Mouse wear gloves?

Two words: STICKY PEOPLE.

Poor Mickey lives AND works in a place that’s always overrun by thousands and thousand of sticky people, and those little creatures a LOADED with cooties. So really, he’s just practicing good hygiene so that he doesn’t spread anything to his BFF Minnie. Think how upset everyone would get if there was another cootie outbreak at the Happiest Place on Earth and it was all because Mickey touched a feral little human germ-bag and then gave Minnie a good squeeze when no one was looking. She’d get the cooties, she would hug some teenaged hornball, who would them pass the cooties on to someone else…it would horrible.

House mice don’t have to really worry about that as much, so they don’t even bother.

= = =

OHMYCAT MAX THE KIDLETS ARE HOME ALL DAY AGAIN AND NO ONE WILL TELL ME HOW LONG SUMMER IS AND I WANT THEM TO GO BACK. THEY ARE LOUD AND THERE ARE SOOOOOOO MANY OF THEM.

Oh, dood, you’re not gonna like this.

Summer is about 13,893 sleeps, or about 2.5 people months. Multiply that by how many kids you have to deal with, and you’re gonna be in Suckage Central for about 92 cat years.

I am so, so sorry.

===

How books have you wrote? Can I wrote too even though I don’t want to be a real writer but just like articles and stories online?

Mm, I think I’ve written eleven books. Nine fiction, two blog-based, an illustrated rule book, and poetry. The Woman has written a few, too. The most important thing, though, is that if you write, you are a writer. You don’t have to aspire to be a professional or career writer; write for fun, for yourself, and you’re a real writer. Play with words and see where that takes you—you can keep it all for yourself, or start a blog, or find a place online to share your work.

Writing is art. You paint with words. It doesn’t matter if you paint tiny pictures or giant murals…it just matters that if it’s in you, you let it out. So sit down and write, for yourself, and then decide what to do with it.

= = =

Max, if you could go on vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Red Lobster.

Or maybe Cattlemen’s. That just down the street and around the corner, and they have really good real live fresh dead steaks, so that would be a good destination.

Yep. That would be an awesome vacation.

= = =

Got a question for me?

You can leave it in the comments below,

or drop me an email at askmaxmonday@gmail.com

 

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Category: Ask Max Monday, Featured

About the Author ()

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003. Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,", "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

Comments (4)

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  1. Max, I went to a dinner party yesterday, and there were little sticky people there, and I made sure to sit as FAR AWAY from them as I could! And it worked; I was never even without 10 feet of a sticky person, and that was alright by me!

  2. Erin The Cat says:

    Max, that is so cool that younow all this stuff. Where do you get it all from—reading, or do you have a hot line to that Julien guy and his encyclingpedia book?
    I’m clearly mixing with the wrong sort of mice as I’ve never met ones with gloves. Where isit this Mickey lives, as I’d like to shake him by the paw, possibly elsewhere if we gets on speaking terms 😉
    MInd you, if you have real live dead stuff maybe i should just come round your place and we can order in?
    Purrs
    ERin

  3. Puddzee Pye says:

    Max,

    It’s me Puddzee again. My mummy said her and I are going on a trip to a place called Devils Lake to celebrate my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary. Mummy has agoraphobia but the owner of the rented cabin stated it was okay if I came since I’m an emotional support animal.
    Max I’m actually gonna have to seriously do my job. I know that was my title but I’ve just done the cuddling when her face was all wet and dripping or when she slept all day. Now I have to travel to a different state for 4 days!? Mummy states she’ll bring my outdoor pen, a window seat, some tunnels and feather wands plus the essentials for me, but I have to travel. She says she’s not super excited about traveling either.
    Who’s gonna watch my flying vermin post that I man daily while I’m away? I have to share a room with not only mummy but her 2 nieces! No sticky people going luckily.
    Max help! I really didn’t read the details of this emotional support job prior to taking it!
    Any advice would be great!

    Thank you kindly,

    Puddzee

  4. Lincoln the Log says:

    Dear Max, I saw Puddzee’s question and now I have a question: Where is this Devil’s Lake? Cuz my lady calls me a little devil sometimes and I don’t wanna get thrown in a lake!!!

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