Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything.
He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003
Max is the author of three books, "The PsychoKitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat," its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death," and "The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats."
Dear Max, My mommy and daddy went out and came back with necklaces for me and my brother just like the big kitties wear! Only mine kept getting stuck in my mouth so they took it off and said I was still too little to wear a necklace. Now my brother makes fun of me [...]
Max! I need help! I heard the people talk about coyotes in my neighborhood and how some cats have been found DEAD and I go outside a lot! What should I do! Stay inside! Dear Max, I wented to the doctor and he gave me a shot in my back and now I have to [...]
Hey Max, I have a question for you. My kitties usually sleep with me. The past couple of nights they have not. What’s up with that? I am missing my snuggle cats. Try showering. That might help. Dear Max – why is it MY fault that lamps and stuff is not glued down onto tables [...]
Dear Max, I want to ask you a very purrsonal question and it is okay if you don’t want to answer it because it is purrsonal and all. See, I whine and cry and thrash when mommie tries to trim my claws because I just know she’ll slip and cut the whole end of my [...]
Why do I have to suffer when mine the mom decides to “eat healthy” and not have wheat anymore? Do you know what wheat makes? wheat makes FRENCH TOAST. Why must I suffer for her problems? Because people are MEAN, dood. All they think about is themselves and what THEY want to eat and how [...]
So this foster kitten girl showed up. But she hisses and growls all the time. Mom said it is ok for us to smack her a little to teach her “the way of the cat”. But normally all we hear is “stop that” when we try to smack foster kittens. Now what??? Well…yeah, normally people [...]
DOOD!!! MAX!! Help ME!!! Mine woofie furriend who is like, ANCIENT in dog age (he’s 12!)says he gotted something called “nootered”. And now he is no fun. He doesn’t want to play “who’s mouth is bigger” or “lion tamer” (he tried to BITE MINE HEAD the last time we played it). He keeps whining about [...]
Dear Max! My brother and I have had a full day-we knocked over the books and bented the pages, killed a plastic bag, put all the stuff on the desk onto the floor, hid stuff under the couch, knocked the kibble all over the room, broke the water bowl, put the stuff on the shelf [...]
Hey Max dood – The mom lady person gives me steer-oids so that I can maybe breathe sometimes, and I gets REALLY REALLY REALLY HUNGRY and she does not give me extra foods and then I has to lick her foods while she is trying to eat them and she gets MAD at me. ME [...]
Dear Max, I’m writing to you from solitary confinement after I scratched the mom’s face. As the coppers were taking me away my stepbrother Jack said, “They’re probably gonna give you the electric chair, kid.” So what I want to know is when I get my lectric chair am I gonna have to share it [...]
My sisfur’s disgustin. Her wees in our watser bowls onna floors alla times. I wants to no cuz whys her do dat? Meowmy hasta clean it ups alla times. Makes her stopsit!! Purrs, Rosey Posey Hmm…when kitties pee inappropriately, there’s always a reason and it’s never because the kitty is being vindictive. It could be [...]
OK took your advice and lft a pile of nuts for the squirrels. The next time me went outside, mes gots pelted! Does yous knows how to contact the squirrel Mafia? Kisses Nellie I don’t think you want to do that. To get in direct contact with them, you’d have to go into their territory…and [...]
Max, dood, why does meowmy always trys to kis me onna lips? I gotta strait arm her to keeps her lips away. I meen I don kno where her mouf has ben! Rosie Posie People seem to think lip kissing is a sign of affection…she’s really just saying, “hey, you’re spiffy,” but I don’t think [...]
Deer Max – The mom lady person thinks ME is weerd. When she is in the bath tub ME likes to drink the water and eat the bubblies in there. ME says it’s normal. Is it or is ME just weerd like the mom lady person says. – Yore friend Billy Dood…it’s a little bit [...]
Dear Max, Why is Gravity so mean? Love, Dio I dunno if I’d call it mean; it IS what keeps us from flying off the planet into outer space where we would pop like furry little balloons. Sure, sometimes it means thins fall on our heads and we plop down on the floor unceremoniously, but [...]
Dear Max, I just was informed that another DOG is coming to live in MY, I mean our, house!! Apparently her Man is going to the Bridge soon, and my People are adopting her. I know this dog. She isn’t bright. How do I best make her understand her Man isn’t coming back, so she [...]
Max, how did you get so smart? I really admire your wit and wisdom and wish that I could take things in life as well as you do! Thanks! I read a lot. I mean, there’s a lot of great information online and tons of news sites and places to look at pictures that aren’t [...]
Dear Max, This is the human asking you questions not the cats. I want some advise. We are moving in 3 weeks to a new bigger place and then about a month later the baby will be arriving. How do I prepare the cats for all of this? Any suggestions on how to make everything [...]
Dear Max, I made the best farts ever. They had a good bouquet and a lingering aroma, but then I made a whole bunch not so good poops and now I has to eat a pumpkin. It makes my tongue orange and the other kitties tease me. Will I have to eat pumpkins forever or [...]
Well as you know we have a new baby comming and now there is talk of Moving. What is that and what do we do. There is rumblings of a fireplace and more room and really big windows to sit in front of. And they say the local turkey gang hangs in the yard. But [...]
If you are a current cat blogger, either an old-timer with an established following or a newcomer just sticking a paw in the crack of the door, we would love to interview you for Mousebreath. But in order to do that, we need to know you are available and interested. So we’re holding auditions. [...]
Win $7500 with Your Cute Cat Photo
Your cute cat photo could win you $7500 or a year’s supply of cat food in Purina’s Purely for Pets Photo Contest. There are two CATegories: Cat Sign Language and Too Cute for Words. Ten finalists in each category will be announced on June 17th, then the public will select the winner. How to Enter [...]
Shoesday: Spicy Red Cat Sneaks
Do not buy these shoes. SRSLY. We love ‘em, but the source is one of those sketchy websites that looks like it could be using the online store to steal credit card numbers. So we won’t put a link to that site. Which is a shame because we love the sassy red print and comfortable [...]
Elegant Chaise for the Modern Mancat
This thing is called a chaise, but you don’t chase it. It sounds like CHAYz, with a Z sound at the end. I don’t know what the “i” is doin in the middle of the werd. Nobuddy consulted me or Skeezix win they made up the spelling. Now, if you don’t like the green [...]
Fashion Friday Cat’s by Tsumori Chisato
I can’t wear anything but natural fibers, so these 100% cotton cat dresses by Tsumori Chisato drew me in like a tractor beam. They come in a bright array of colors and feature a boat neckline, short sleeves and rhinestone detailing with a glitter cat print. You can buy ‘em at Yoox.com. Tees are [...]
Shoesday: Sweet Black Flats from Urban Outfitters
This week’s cat shoe is a sweet black loafer from Urban Outfitters. At $45, the price is sweet as well. The classic slip-on is crafted in canvas and imprinted with the haunting gaze of a house panther. There’s leather piping along the top-upper, a padded footbed and rubber sole. We can see them with these [...]
I found a Pinteresting sculptor this week, and couldn’t wait to share her work with you. Her name is Sara Swink, and there are a lot of cats peeking out from her portfolio: A cat and a donkey? But of course! She does a lot of sculptures of a cat named “Mao.” And who isn’t [...]
Well, fokes, I think I can retire now. If found the best mancat mancave in the hole entire werld. It is this Mancat Palace that has a tapestry bed with poles so the gerlcats can do sum pole dansing, and mirrors and gold colums and even a purrsonal mouse assistant. Do you think thare’s a [...]
The Owl and the Pussycat are Besties! (VIDEO)
Fum and Gebra are an ulikely pair: an owl and a pussycat in Spain who’ve become BFFs. Rather than turn the other into lunch, they’ve teamed up for huntin’ and headbonkin’ and chasin’ and huggin’. Charming! You can follow Fum and Gebra via Facebook.
Ask Max Monday: Know When To Fold ‘Em
Dear Max, I want to ask you a very purrsonal question and it is okay if you don’t want to answer it because it is purrsonal and all. See, I whine and cry and thrash when mommie tries to trim my claws because I just know she’ll slip and cut the whole end of my [...]
Get every new post delivered to your Inbox
Join other followers
Follow Mousebreath!