Author Archive: Max the Psycho Kitty

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything.

He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003.

Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,",
"The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

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Ask Max Monday: We’re Okay

Ask Max Monday: We’re Okay

There were no questions this week—and it’s okay, I understand why—so I almost decided to just let it slide this week, but I thought it might be a good idea to say something anyway, to let y’all know we’re doing okay here. We still feel blindsided and we miss Buddah with a ferocity I never […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Pest Was The Best

Ask Max Monday: The Pest Was The Best

This is not what I wanted to write this week. I wanted to answer questions, I wanted to find some funny, I wanted to tell everyone that Buddah was hanging in there and doing well. I wanted so many things, but not this. He just didn’t get any better. We had some ups and downs […]

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Ask Max Monday: Buddah Mojo

Ask Max Monday: Buddah Mojo

If you read my blog or Facebook page, you already know this, but it’s why there was no Ask Max last week and why there really isn’t this week. It’s been a hard week at Casa Max, and we feel totally blindsided by this. I’m okay, let’s get that out of the way first. But […]

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Ask Max Monday: EAT ALL THE THINGS…but maybe not all at once.

Ask Max Monday: EAT ALL THE THINGS…but maybe not all at once.

Hello Max, I’m glad you’re feeling better. The ear stuff is so much easier to deal with than pills, isn’t it? As long as you get the required bribe, that is. I have a question, oh wise one. My human occasionally gives me tuna and salmon food, and it is SOOO GOOD! I eat almost […]

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Ask Max Monday: Shameless Self Promotion…

Ask Max Monday: Shameless Self Promotion…

…and whatever else crosses my mind tonight. Yes, I realize there was no column last week and I fully intended to post something so everyone would know I was all right, but then the Woman started playing Enterprise on the TV and I got all wrapped up in that, and then there was food, and […]

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Ask Max Monday: Watch ALL The Things!

Ask Max Monday: Watch ALL The Things!

Max, we love to see that you are keeping on keeping on! I have a question: Sweetie sometimes sleeps on an old bedsheet, that bunched up inside a crate. I want to rearrange that sheet, since I’m sure it’s not as comfortable as it could be, but I don’t want to fuss enough that she […]

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Ask Max Monday: My Pretty Good Week

Ask Max Monday: My Pretty Good Week

Okay doods, there were no questions this week, which is okay because I’ve just been kicking back enjoying a pretty decent week. I only had one day where I wanted to hide all day and not eat; the rest of the week I’ve eaten pretty well and while I’ve been in the closet and in […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s Okay to Let Go

Ask Max Monday: It’s Okay to Let Go

Hi, Max! I was looking at you catnip pillow/plaything in your photo, and wondered, what with all your worldly experience, what you recommend for the feline in need of a good time? I hasten to add that by that I mean nip, and not, well you know, what the humans shut the door on us […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s Hot Outside, Stay In, Ok?

Ask Max Monday: It’s Hot Outside, Stay In, Ok?

Hi hi Max  Wez has a suggestion for upset tummies.  When Angel Boo had thyroid and kidneys he had upset tummy.  Our Vet recommended 1/4 of a Pepcid AD, once day..make sure it’s the aspirin free kind.  It helped him a lot  Your Canuck fanz  Oakley and Sugar That’s worth keeping in mind if I […]

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Ask Max Monday: Of Mice and Breath and FOOD

Ask Max Monday: Of Mice and Breath and FOOD

My clowder recommends Fancy Feast Savory Centers. I will eat anything, but our geezers (oops I mean wise elders) really like these flavors and they are very soft and wet. The Mom says they are like “cherry cordial chocolates” whatever that is, it sounds nasty but these are not nasty! You might like them. Okay. […]

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Ask Max Monday: EAT ALL THE FANCY FEASTS!

Ask Max Monday: EAT ALL THE FANCY FEASTS!

Oh wise Max, I have a question. What are your favorite Fancy Feast flavors? My humans are starting to bring me Fancy Feast offerings instead of the free range artisanal crap they’ve been dragging in since my beloved Nutro Max Cat went away. I horked up half a can of some tuna and salmon garbage […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’m Still Standing…Well, Laying Down, but Still…

Ask Max Monday: I’m Still Standing…Well, Laying Down, but Still…

First things first: I’m still here. I’m okay. I’m not great, but I’m about as good as a 19 year old dood with bad kidneys and a wonky thyroid can get. My weight is down again; at my highest I was 18 pounds, and now I’m around 9.5, which is a healthy weight for a […]

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Ask Max Monday: A Word From the Woman

Ask Max Monday: A Word From the Woman

Usually I help Max answer questions on Sunday night, and we upload the Ask Max column before heading off to bed. This week we honestly did not feel like even checking email to see if there were any questions for him; while I sat in the living room, he was in the master bedroom closet, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Hello…?

Ask Max Monday: Hello…?

:::knock knock knock::: everyone? :::knock knock knock::: everyone? :::knock knock knock::: everyone? Y’all out there? You okay? Maybe in a food coma trying to turn the Quarantine 15 into the Quarantine 20? I can see that. I know my people aren’t moving around as much since they’re home all the time now and there have […]

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Ask Max Monday: One Day At a Time…

Ask Max Monday: One Day At a Time…

Hello! It is Cat Scouts Mango and Willow… as I, Mango explained in an earlier email, we lost our beloved Sisfurr Aspen recently at age 15. She stopped eating. And she rarely went to our Mom to Meow and say that she was very  sick and to tell Mom she had stopped eating and drinking. […]

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Ask Max Monday: ‘Til We Meet Again, Tank

Ask Max Monday: ‘Til We Meet Again, Tank

Win in the hek are we gonna git the howse bak to ourselfs? Having the peeps here all the time is gitting on are nervs. Good question, dood. It’s annoying as all get out, isn’t it? And I would know because the Woman has always worked from home and SHE’S ALWAYS HERE. It sounds like […]

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Ask Max Monday: 19

Ask Max Monday: 19

Hi Max, Two years after (almost to the day) our dearest Spider crossed the rainbow bridge, she sent Gracie and me a new friend. It’s a boy, a middle-aged meezer dude! His origin story is as fuzzy as his toe bean sprouts and apparently he’s recovering from his years on the streets (after some help […]

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Ask Max Monday: No, Not Everyone Needs a Pet…

Ask Max Monday: No, Not Everyone Needs a Pet…

It’s almost Taco Tuesday. What kind of tacos should I order? Taco Bell ones give me the [redacted] TOONA You should get TOONA TOONA TACO TUESDAY You’re welcome. = = = I was reading “Purrfect Advice” by Nic Saint, and saw this: “Well, we could start a column with pets writing in and asking questions, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Who, Me? Make Fun of Someone?

Ask Max Monday: Who, Me? Make Fun of Someone?

Great answers, you are most certainly worth steak. Any advice for how to get a cat used to drinking out of a fountain instead of the sink? Hm. I’ve always preferred a fountain so it just kinda happened. If there’s room, maybe start with the fountain near the preferred sink, and when the cat tries […]

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Ask Max Monday: Quarantine Day #8,265

Ask Max Monday: Quarantine Day #8,265

Hi Max! I don’t know what to do about the kitty that lives outside the window. I used to be a feral but now I am an inside girl. There is another kitty that is feral but she does not want to be inside. But Max, that is good because I do not like her! […]

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