Author Archive: Max the Psycho Kitty

Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything.

He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003.

Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,",
"The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."

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Ask Max Monday: Gotcha

Ask Max Monday: Gotcha

Hey Max, sumtimes I haff trubble understand hyooman langwidge. Like, I try to be very polite and win I git on thare laps I present my bakside to them with my tale up so thay kan git a good sniff. And evry time thay tern me around and say, “No buttonface.” Whut’s a buttonface? I […]

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Ask Max Monday: Woof

Ask Max Monday: Woof

Max…. Our mom says we are getting new floors. In order to do that she is throwing out some stuff. Are we next???? Nah. She’s just taking the opportunity to cull the unused stuff from her belongings. People do that every now and then, and getting new floors is a good time because they have […]

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Ask Max Monday: Let’s All Vote for Nekkid Tripper!

Ask Max Monday: Let’s All Vote for Nekkid Tripper!

I know, I know…I'm late. My brain kept telling me it was Thursday and Friday all weekend, even though I also knew it was Saturday and Sunday and the Man was home last night instead of off passing gas. I'm getting old, doods. I suppose with that comes a little confusion about the calendar… * […]

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Ask Max Monday: Hork Hork Hork

Ask Max Monday: Hork Hork Hork

No worries Max, I just travelled back in time and copied the question. "Dear Max, I have just travelled back in time from Wednesday, and your post about last minute gift ideas, and have to say that you have some great ideas coming up. So definitely need to visit them and get them on your […]

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Ask Max Monday: Oops, I Did It Again…Redux

Ask Max Monday: Oops, I Did It Again…Redux

Okay. I have no idea what happened last week. I was 99% sure I’d answered questions, but to my surprise I had not. It’s not even like the Woman was out celebrating or anything and wasn’t home to turn the computer on for me. We just kinda spaced out. Chances are we got caught up […]

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Ask Max Monday: Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, Your Ornaments Are History…

Ask Max Monday: Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, Your Ornaments Are History…

My plans are to read "The Emperor of San Francisco" over the holiday break.  Is there anything I should know before I dive in?  Tips or storylines that may ease my transition into your book world? Really, there’s not anything you need to know. It’s light science fiction and takes place in the future; I […]

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Ask Max Monday: Feelin’ Fine…

Ask Max Monday: Feelin’ Fine…

Doods…thank you for all your well wishes while I was sick. It was a pretty nasty few days there, and the Woman was 99% sure that was it for me. But after a couple of trips to the stabby place, where they stabbed me a few times and stole my blood, and then pushed water […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s Been Monday All Week…

Ask Max Monday: It’s Been Monday All Week…

This was a good week for not getting questions…because I'd just be delaying them to next week. Not a great week for me, doods. I haven't felt well at all. Didn't eat for days. Didn't sleep for a couple of days. Wound up at the stabby place TWICE and had blood stolen and things shoved […]

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Ask Max Monday: Conundrum of the Kitties

Ask Max Monday: Conundrum of the Kitties

Hi Max, I think you should be looking to move to the UK. I mean we get Dr Who on the day plus advert free! Gotta be worth a punt at getting the folks ship themselves over here. Now as to questions, do you have a preferred sleeping area for your bed, or do you […]

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Ask Max Monday: Lazy Like Monday Morning

Ask Max Monday: Lazy Like Monday Morning

I'm just gonna crawl back into bed and take a nice, toasty warm nap. The sheets look wrinkled, but they're fresh out of the dryer, so while I wait for questions for next week's ASK MAX MONDAY, I think I'm going to take 3,285 naps right here where it's quiet and warm. Also, I'm waiting […]

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Ask Max Monday: DO YOUR CIVIC DUTY

Ask Max Monday: DO YOUR CIVIC DUTY

All right, peoples of the United States. Tuesday is the mid-term vote. You know what to do. If you haven't voted early, get it done. If you care about your country, you'll suck it up and go, even if you don't think your vote counts. You are so spoiled Max, but thats okay I like […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’m Just Gonna Sit Here

Ask Max Monday: I’m Just Gonna Sit Here

…and stare. I see you there, staring back at me, wondering where the heck this week's column is. Either than or you're admiring my wonderous beauty. But I'm betting it's the column thing. Since there were no questions this week, you're gonna have to settle for me sitting here staring at you. It'll give you […]

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Ask Max Monday: Hide!

Ask Max Monday: Hide!

Max, I was so excited to find the PURRFECT holiday cards this weekend!  The Hubby rolled his eyes, and made noises about how 'we' should make our own cards, and how he could carve something that we could make a stamp out of…but did he do any of that?!?  NOPE!  Get the cards you want […]

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Ask Max Monday: HoHoHolidays Are Coming

Ask Max Monday: HoHoHolidays Are Coming

Tell us all , how is the new Doctor?  Some people are complaining about the accent.  What are you thoughts? I thought the accents were fairly easy to understand…at least more than the last Doctor, even though he’s been my favorite. We watched him with closed captions on most of the time. I didn’t need […]

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Ask Max Monday: Do It For The Dead and Delicious Things

Ask Max Monday: Do It For The Dead and Delicious Things

Dear Max. Fell deeds have taken place in my grounds, and favourite hedge has been uprooted and dispossed of. Mrs H advises me it has been recycled, but not as anything useful as a hedge! and it doesn't make me feel any the better as I have now lost valuable hunting grounds for birds, and the […]

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Ask Max Monday: …but I was cool before cool was cool…

Ask Max Monday: …but I was cool before cool was cool…

Max I am almost a teenager and the human gives me a little milk sometimes. I also get the Creamy Delights Fancy Feasts which I ONLY eat the creamy sauce off of and the Fancy Feast people say it’s just a little dairy so it’s fine. The human thinks “Creamy Delights” sounds dirty and she […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’m Back!

Ask Max Monday: I’m Back!

Hello hello hello! Am Sun Kawnure! Am bird! Like to scream scream scream! I lives with four kats! Every morning I takes one kibble from the kats to chew chew chew! Should I pay for kibble? Want birdseed? Do I give kats birdseed? I think with four cats in the house, and they haven’t eaten […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Late Edition. Now With No Questions

Ask Max Monday: The Late Edition. Now With No Questions

I know. I’m late. It’s after 3 pm on Monday here, and I’m just getting around to this. But in my defense, there were no questions this week, and I was kinda waiting to see if there might be one or two last minute, as sometimes happens. Alas, there were not. Now, normally I don’t […]

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Ask Max Monday: Suggestions for Pixel, Please

Ask Max Monday: Suggestions for Pixel, Please

Hi max. I am pixels mom Karen. I need some help. Pixel is now on a liquid allergy med everyday for the next 6 weeks , in time it will be twice a week for life , and day 1 has not gone well. Can I get ideas on how to maybe make this not […]

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Ask Max Monday: Home Is Where The Shrimps Are

Ask Max Monday: Home Is Where The Shrimps Are

Max, when is my hooman gonna STAHP sleepin fru da nite? She like sevven in cat years, and I dont kno how much longer i can stand stayin awake all day when she not at werk. Wen my sisfur Spider was alife, she stayd up all owrs wiff hooman. I’m not a “day” person. It […]

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