Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything.
He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003.
Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,",
"The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."
I'm just gonna crawl back into bed and take a nice, toasty warm nap. The sheets look wrinkled, but they're fresh out of the dryer, so while I wait for questions for next week's ASK MAX MONDAY, I think I'm going to take 3,285 naps right here where it's quiet and warm. Also, I'm waiting […]
All right, peoples of the United States. Tuesday is the mid-term vote. You know what to do. If you haven't voted early, get it done. If you care about your country, you'll suck it up and go, even if you don't think your vote counts. You are so spoiled Max, but thats okay I like […]
…and stare. I see you there, staring back at me, wondering where the heck this week's column is. Either than or you're admiring my wonderous beauty. But I'm betting it's the column thing. Since there were no questions this week, you're gonna have to settle for me sitting here staring at you. It'll give you […]
Max, I was so excited to find the PURRFECT holiday cards this weekend! The Hubby rolled his eyes, and made noises about how 'we' should make our own cards, and how he could carve something that we could make a stamp out of…but did he do any of that?!? NOPE! Get the cards you want […]
Tell us all , how is the new Doctor? Some people are complaining about the accent. What are you thoughts? I thought the accents were fairly easy to understand…at least more than the last Doctor, even though he’s been my favorite. We watched him with closed captions on most of the time. I didn’t need […]
Dear Max. Fell deeds have taken place in my grounds, and favourite hedge has been uprooted and dispossed of. Mrs H advises me it has been recycled, but not as anything useful as a hedge! and it doesn't make me feel any the better as I have now lost valuable hunting grounds for birds, and the […]
Max I am almost a teenager and the human gives me a little milk sometimes. I also get the Creamy Delights Fancy Feasts which I ONLY eat the creamy sauce off of and the Fancy Feast people say it’s just a little dairy so it’s fine. The human thinks “Creamy Delights” sounds dirty and she […]
Hello hello hello! Am Sun Kawnure! Am bird! Like to scream scream scream! I lives with four kats! Every morning I takes one kibble from the kats to chew chew chew! Should I pay for kibble? Want birdseed? Do I give kats birdseed? I think with four cats in the house, and they haven’t eaten […]
I know. I’m late. It’s after 3 pm on Monday here, and I’m just getting around to this. But in my defense, there were no questions this week, and I was kinda waiting to see if there might be one or two last minute, as sometimes happens. Alas, there were not. Now, normally I don’t […]
Hi max. I am pixels mom Karen. I need some help. Pixel is now on a liquid allergy med everyday for the next 6 weeks , in time it will be twice a week for life , and day 1 has not gone well. Can I get ideas on how to maybe make this not […]
Max, when is my hooman gonna STAHP sleepin fru da nite? She like sevven in cat years, and I dont kno how much longer i can stand stayin awake all day when she not at werk. Wen my sisfur Spider was alife, she stayd up all owrs wiff hooman. I’m not a “day” person. It […]
Yo, Max! Good news! Our peeps just bilded us this ginormous catio and it raps around the old oak tree and we git to klime! And watch sqwerls n berds. Maybe yoo cood come over and hang with us. We wood treet you better than Boooda duz. My problem is this: Win we’re outside in […]
The Woman is kinda sick, so this is all we’ve done since Thursday: Brains are not quite engaged enough to think, so any questions for this week will be answered next. Go ahead and keep asking things, though! We’ll be back as soon as she feels better. Got a question for me? You can leave […]
Dear Max, I’m not sure of your own personal circumstances, but I have a boyfriend who is many many miles away. Trouble is there is NO way I can get to him in USA, or he to me, in UK. We communicate via email and blogs which is excellent, and we exchange gifts too but […]
Deer Max, my moms woz holding me the other day and she sed, “Dio, you need a baf!” Well, okay den. Itz not eben my birfday but I’m gonna git sumpin! Now I haf to keep an eye out the window for the Amamamazon man in da brown truck to bring me my baf. Iz […]
Deer Max, My friend, I am werried cuz my lady told her sister that after this week, they should start learning how to speek Rushin. Duz this meen I’ll have to eat Borscht? Cuz beets suk. No worries. The people are the only ones whose diets may or may not change. Our lives will go […]
Hey Mr Max, it’s me Sterling. I am more than one year old now so why do the hoomins still call me Sterling BabyCat? Why does Ant Nora never make me in charge when she goes out? It’s always my woofy sisfur or Cousin Murphy or the Mama Fluff lady cat. And why is there […]
DOOOOD!!! Whuts with the hots???? I’m dyin’ here!!!! I KNOW, RIGHT??? It happens every freaking year! On the plus side, my people bought a brand new air conditioner last year so it can be super hot outside and I don’t care. On a different tack, or should I say paw path, Mrs H is checking […]
Hey Max, Dood, purlease explain to my peon/mama why looking out the front door 6ft to the west of my window seat is so important. I have to throw temper tantrums, everyday dood, in front of the front door for like 20 mins or until I get bored to get the door opened to look […]
Dear Max. With a new season comes the eternal question as to what to wear, well for humans anyway. What stye tips can you offer the ill paid housekeeper, or general household labourer? Do you have any fashion preferences besides the super cool hat. Obviously we Tuxedo’s have the best attire, especially for dressing up, […]
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