Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything.
He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003.
Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,",
"The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hits, "The Emperor of San Francisco" and "Ozoo" [The Wick Chronicles].
Since there were no questions for this week, I present you with a picture of the Woman being…gawd, being herself. Perhaps it will help you understand what I have to live with. She did that in public, doods. And really, camo and hi-viz? Like what did she really want? To be invisible OR be […]
Dear Max, Please stop telling the cats that breakfast should be served at 5am. Thanks, the mom No problem. Kitties. Heads up. Take note. First Food O’clock is not at 5 am. It’s really more like 4:45 am. And since it takes people a bit of time to wake up sufficiently to operate the thumbs […]
Max, my cat doesn’t bite me, exactly, but he sets his teeth on me sometimes. Why? There are a couple of reasons why. 1-he’s warning you that he could bite, but he’s choosing not to. 2- he loves you and has no concept of what kissing really is. Or 3-he’s taste-testing you. I’d sleep with […]
MAX!!! I think my peeple are WIKKINS! They lokt us in a room, and win we came out, the krissmiss tree wuz GON and thare wuz nuthin but a pile of needuls ware it had been. I think they used BLAK MAJIK to make it disappeer. Can they make US disappeer? And how menny sleeps […]
OMG Max weer running out of time!!! They sed owr krissmiss tree is going away! We tride to nok it over, but we just made a bunch of balls go broken insted. So we nocked over the ficuss tree. It’s tiny, but thare wuz a LOT of wet blak dert that spilt onto the wite […]
Hello Max, Me and my human mommy binge watched Dr. Who all day and evening, too. I was nice and let her up to use the litter box room a few times, and to feed me. It was the BEST! Dr Who and treats all day and evening! But I have a question. How many […]
Are you related in any degree to our Baby Su? You do share certain character traits. Just sayin’. I might be. Who knows? As far as I know my parents were random alley cats who met while on a Nip bender behind the 7-11 at 4 a.m. I could be related to a whole bunch […]
Max, we chit you not, da hooman turns 40 dis week. She kinda slippin. Her brane seem a bit derpy. Any tips for caring for a old-AF hooman? How we make shur we git da house wen she ded? How we petishun for pawer of a-turny? Mos importint, do you fink we can lern how […]
Max Dood Can we talk about something that has been bothering me for a long time? Years in fact. The problem is this – My name is Miles Phillippe Meezer. NOT “Poosie” “Puddin” “Fatso” “Farty” “Master McBarf” or “Poosie” – yes I said that one twice because I think that the mom has totally forgotten […]
Max, whuts a tale for? My bruther thwaps his in my face then gits all hissy win I try to kill it. If its not fur playin or killin, whuts it for? Tails have many functions: to balance, show emotion, clear the bathroom counter, test the temperature of whatever the human is drinking, and my […]
HAY MAX HOW MUCH DID THEY PAY YOO TO WARE THAT TURKEEY HAT? I did it for free, dood! I mean, look at me. I AM STUNNING! And now everyone knows I mean business when I tell them to back off or I’ll wear their asterisk for a hat, because now there’s proof. Max i […]
how many more sleeps until Santa?? we are asking for a friend Not too many! Santa comes in a little over a month, so only 1,265 more sleeps! Max on the ballon idea, what about the Chinese lanterns you light and send into the night. I think those are more eco friendly I think those […]
hay max i herd you no evrything, so i haff an impurrtunt thing to ask. i just came to liv at a noo place. it’s nice. my brudder livs heer. i lived in a kupple udder places beefore this one cuz nobuddy wunts to giv blak cats furever homes. my brudder sez they’ll keep me, […]
Max, we teecht da hooman to fech. She almos got it figgert owt. She fro da mousie, we watch. She fro it agin and stare at us. We do nuffin. She run affer it. We watch. She get it, she say “here! ketch, kitties!” She fro it, we watch. What uvver triks can we teech […]
Max…. So, this foster kitten showed back up. He was here this spring when his momma popped him out and then he grew up (sorta – as big as they get around here before they leave) and mom said he wasn’t adopted and got snotty and now he is back here. Mom swears it is […]
Hay Max, they got my bro to come liv with us!!!!! This has bin the best week of my life! But why is it that Banzai looks like me and is NOT my bro, but my reel bro is blak! Banzai sez its cuz my mom was a ho. Shood I beet Banzai up? Naw, […]
Max, you sure have a way of cheering up our peeps! We cats should rule the world (maybe with dogs as a back-up). We’ve heard about the wood chuck, but WHAT, EXACTLY, is chucking (other than the up-kind)?! Well, I know a lady named Charlie and her husband calls her Chuck, so I’m thinking it […]
Max, I stealed the dog’s foods. It was good. Now my sisfurs sez “yoo are what yoo eats” Does this mean I will turn into a dog?? I does not want to be a dog! Well…there’s good news, and there’s bad news. First, you will not turn into a dog. Because, think about it, if […]
Max, the peeps put a CHOKER arownd my nek, and it has 2 BELLS on it! They are praktikly making me def thare so lowd. And the stoopid choker is PINK wich is not a mancatly color. I am pretty shur I’m gonna git strangled by this thing. Do you have the fone number for […]
MAX MAX!! Where is your column this week??? Inquiring minds want to know!! Dood, I have no idea what happened last week. If you’d asked me, I would have sworn I’d uploaded a column last Sunday night. Someone (and it had to be the Woman, because it certainly couldn’t have been me) had a massive […]
The Eastside Inside Outside Cats
What could be sweeter than an adorable non-edible chocolate cat? Chocolate and his inside / outside family are from the blog Eastside Cats. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your human. Chuck: My name is Chocolate, but everyone calls me Chuck, or Chucky. My humans are The Cat Mama and The Hubby. Funny Farmer […]
Many of you remember Angel Willie Snapp from the Phin, Feather and Furr Gang blog. The Kitty Who Came After is Buckwheat and we are pleased to be able to interview him today. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your humans. Hi! I’m Buckwheat. I am about 6 years old and I am a […]
It’s always interesting to interview a full house of cats. Different personalities and different beginnings blended into one family. Today we are privileged to visit a home (Clarissa’s House of Cats) with fourteen different stories – or one story, depending on your perspective. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your human. Clarissa: My name […]
Many of you know today’s interviewee. She is a popular blogger and has her own Caturday Art blog hop. Yes, you guessed correctly – Athena Cat Goddess Wise Kitty. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your mom. Athena: Hi! Thanks for inviting me for an interview. I’m Athena from England and I am a […]
There is no Mousebreath interview this week and we apologize for any inconvenience. We didn’t forget; we do have one and intended to publish it, but sometimes life intervenes. We’re taking a nap to prepare for next week and suggest you take one too. Naps are so refreshing! *** Come on, don’t be shy. All […]
We have said every cat has a story, and we are pleased to introduce you to a senior kitty who contacted us and proved our theory is correct. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your human. Hi, I’m Biscuit and my human is Leslie. Funny Farmer Felines: If you have any furry siblings, please […]
Meet the retired “puma” who lives the good life now at Pets Overload. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your human. Beau: My name’s Beau and my human’s name is Johnny. Funny Farmer Felines: If you have any furry siblings, please introduce them too. Beau: I used to have a brother named Walker, although […]
Valentine and Zombie Squirrelygigs
We are not well-acquainted with today’s interviewee from Noir Kitty Mews but perhaps you are. Still, there is more you can learn. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your human. Valentine: Mew Mew hellos! I’m so humbled that you wish to interview me. My name is “Valentine” (pronounced like one of my fav holidays). […]
There is an interesting story behind Binky and Granny from the blog Angels Whisper. We know you will enjoy reading it. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your human. Binky: I’m Little Binky and that’s my Granny. *points paw at Granny* I was born somewhere in Autum of 2002. I’m a cow kitty and […]
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