Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything.
He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003.
Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,",
"The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."
Dear Max. I love all those cat images that you collected. Do you think I should start collecting cats too? I mean I do the usual collections, Mice, Stamps (on spiders and bugs) and Antique cow creamers, but think maybe I should be branching out… but not squirrels. I did try collecting sparrows once, but […]
Max: how can you tell if something is mentally wrong with one of your sisfurs? She likes to go outside with the mom, she doesn’t like catnip or whipped cream, and she sleeps in the cat carrier. What gives?? There’s nothing wrong with her, she’s just different, and that’s kinda cool. It takes guts to […]
If the mom has oxtail soup then I should get some too right? Because she is a food hoarder and not good at sharing anything. Also, since I have been sick and having radiation and stuff, I have asked the mom to get off her fat butt and hello me write a book. She has […]
The Man took this week off from passing gas, and he’s still off and the People are just kinda goofing off and not being very helpful, so it was a good week to not get any questions. While they’ve been going out an about, I’ve been napping and plotting (book stuff, not, like overthrow the […]
Deer Max really what is wrong with smacking mine brofur down the stairs? The Mom really hollered at me for that. I say he just tripped over mine paw. She wasn’t there. She just saw him plopping down the last couple of steps. Would it have been really bad if I actually DID smack and […]
Max! For the last 15 years my Humom has been stealing my poop every single day but today I noticed an email confirming her membership in something called the Kitty Poop Club. Does this mean that it’s not just her but an entire club harvesting kitty poop? I’m stunned to learn that for so many […]
Dood – how come my mom is stoopid? I mean, she can’t see me when I’m right in front of her and she calls and calls and calls mine name and then freaks out when I don’t show up. Because I can see her. Why can’t she see me? I mean, I am right in […]
Please settle an argument for me: I say that pooping in the mom’s slippers took a lot of skill. She says it’s just gross. Who is right? Well, really, you both are. I mean, getting your asterisk over the opening in the slippers takes some wicked math skills, calculating trajectory and all, and success is […]
Dear Max, Due to a mouse shortage in these here parts, of the live but soon to be beaded kind, what can I use to keep my hunting skils high and still get the fun of the chase ? Toodle pips and purrs Erin There are always things in a house that can be hunted. […]
Max, you have such a catspractical solution to these daily human kitten issues. I really liked the one about kitten sitting, tell me, does this work on unruly kitchen staff too? Toodle pips and purrs Erin Kitchen staff are a bit different from kittens. I recommend sitting on them, but the only thing it teaches […]
Max….so our mom keeps taking the kittens places (and bringing her back). Then she went and bought…a STROLLER for her. What is wrong with those two?? I’ve had to think long and hard about this, because at one time the Woman also bought a stroller with the intent of taking Buddah and me on walks […]
There really weren’t enough questions this week (one) and the Woman was all OOOOHHHH LET’S WATCH THE OSCARS INSTEAD OF WORKING last night, so here we are. I was pretty much like this all evening, staring at the Woman, trying to get her to do anything other than watch people celebrate movies that she didn’t […]
Wait, I can get genital acne? Should I find a blog post outlining a cure? Yes. Yes, you should. Find it, then summarize it, and submit it to every freaking address that seems remotely like a place that runs articles on genital acne. Like, dog blogs. Apparently, pet blogs are the place to submit things. […]
Dear blog owner, I just HAPPENED to run across your blog and I think it’s OH SO NEAT and I wanted to write to you and heap tons of FAKE PRAISE on it so that I can convince you to write me back and confirm that this is a real email address. I’m going to […]
Deer Na Dude Youse know mine little sisfur Sugar well most of de tyme wez gud. But lately she uz acting like a poop head Iz started getting acne bumps and de mama drags me to de Vet to get dem check out and popped sum tymes When I getz home already feeling shitty fur […]
Doods, the Woman is not feeling well, so I’m just propped up here purring, trying to make her feel better. We’ll be back next week, so leave a question or email it, and hopefully she can help me type up the answers. Got a question for me? You can leave it in the comments below, […]
Max – we haz a question. So…we have the colds here, then the slightly warms, then the colds, then warms…. mom mutters something about Mother Nature taking a pill. Can that be done? We would like to live with permanent kind of warms so the windows can be open all the time. That would have […]
Greetings from Buddah Pest Max is takin’s a nap because he didn’t have any questions to answer this week and said he needed to ponder what he wanted to write about so I decided he needed a vacation and I could take over and stare at everyone because you’re all kinda spiffy looking and I […]
Max! I am a former feral kitten but now I live inside with my cat mom. I still have my street cred and I think I have a tattoo that says “Feral Forever” that I got at the stabby place, but I like my noms and my heated cat cup too. Can I be a […]
Max, the other day I had to wate until SEVEN in the morning before the man got up to gimme my brekfist. And then yesterday he didn’t gimme brekfist until SEVENTHIRDY! I tride yelling and banging on his bedroom door, but I think he is def acuz it dint do any good. Shud I call […]
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