Max the Psycho Kitty is 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything.
He's a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with an addiction to Kitty Crack and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. A pioneer in the Cat Blogosphere, he began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003.
Max is the author of SIX blockbuster hit books, "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat,", its sequel "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Something of Yours Will Meet a Toothy Death,",
"The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats," "Bite Me," "There Once Was a Cat from Nantucket" (a book of poetry), and his new smash hit, "The Emperor of San Francisco [The Wick Chronicles]."
Dear Max, Due to a mouse shortage in these here parts, of the live but soon to be beaded kind, what can I use to keep my hunting skils high and still get the fun of the chase ? Toodle pips and purrs Erin There are always things in a house that can be hunted. […]
Max, you have such a catspractical solution to these daily human kitten issues. I really liked the one about kitten sitting, tell me, does this work on unruly kitchen staff too? Toodle pips and purrs Erin Kitchen staff are a bit different from kittens. I recommend sitting on them, but the only thing it teaches […]
Max….so our mom keeps taking the kittens places (and bringing her back). Then she went and bought…a STROLLER for her. What is wrong with those two?? I’ve had to think long and hard about this, because at one time the Woman also bought a stroller with the intent of taking Buddah and me on walks […]
There really weren’t enough questions this week (one) and the Woman was all OOOOHHHH LET’S WATCH THE OSCARS INSTEAD OF WORKING last night, so here we are. I was pretty much like this all evening, staring at the Woman, trying to get her to do anything other than watch people celebrate movies that she didn’t […]
Wait, I can get genital acne? Should I find a blog post outlining a cure? Yes. Yes, you should. Find it, then summarize it, and submit it to every freaking address that seems remotely like a place that runs articles on genital acne. Like, dog blogs. Apparently, pet blogs are the place to submit things. […]
Dear blog owner, I just HAPPENED to run across your blog and I think it’s OH SO NEAT and I wanted to write to you and heap tons of FAKE PRAISE on it so that I can convince you to write me back and confirm that this is a real email address. I’m going to […]
Deer Na Dude Youse know mine little sisfur Sugar well most of de tyme wez gud. But lately she uz acting like a poop head Iz started getting acne bumps and de mama drags me to de Vet to get dem check out and popped sum tymes When I getz home already feeling shitty fur […]
Doods, the Woman is not feeling well, so I’m just propped up here purring, trying to make her feel better. We’ll be back next week, so leave a question or email it, and hopefully she can help me type up the answers. Got a question for me? You can leave it in the comments below, […]
Max – we haz a question. So…we have the colds here, then the slightly warms, then the colds, then warms…. mom mutters something about Mother Nature taking a pill. Can that be done? We would like to live with permanent kind of warms so the windows can be open all the time. That would have […]
Greetings from Buddah Pest Max is takin’s a nap because he didn’t have any questions to answer this week and said he needed to ponder what he wanted to write about so I decided he needed a vacation and I could take over and stare at everyone because you’re all kinda spiffy looking and I […]
Max! I am a former feral kitten but now I live inside with my cat mom. I still have my street cred and I think I have a tattoo that says “Feral Forever” that I got at the stabby place, but I like my noms and my heated cat cup too. Can I be a […]
Max, the other day I had to wate until SEVEN in the morning before the man got up to gimme my brekfist. And then yesterday he didn’t gimme brekfist until SEVENTHIRDY! I tride yelling and banging on his bedroom door, but I think he is def acuz it dint do any good. Shud I call […]
Dear Max: Last night my mom said if I don’t leave my brother alone, she’s gonna knock me into next week. How far is that? Will I like it there? Thanks! Love, Sammi P.S. My mom would never hurt me. I’m just curious. You know. Well, since next week is one week into the new […]
Max – apparently ceramic catmas treest DO NOT BOUNCE. I thought that because there was carpet it would. BTW – I gotted a gotcha day tree – it’s cat sized and PURPLE TINSEL. It does not taste good. Mine brofur is hafing an oper-way-shun on his tummy. How long should I wait until I chase […]
Deer Max Dood, I LOVE CATMAS!!!! I love the trees and ornamints, and stuff all ofur the table. I especially love it on the floor. Apparently mine mom is a GRINCH and HATES me and HATES catmas. She WILL NOT get a tree. Again. Because she complains that I break everything off the tree, rip […]
Max —- HALP!!!! I overherd the peeps I live with talking about NOT gitting a Crissmiss tress acuz they are tired of sweeping up broken ornamints. If I promiss them not to brake any if they git the tree, well, whut’s the point of even having one? I dunno why they hafta be so pissy […]
My hooman has lerned to unerstand and speak cat purty well but, most hoomans don’t pay attention to what we say. That includes dog hoomans. My neighbor is a dogsund that hates to be put outside and left alone or left in the house alone; he keeps trying to tell his hooman and drives me […]
DO I? I am not. There is a suitcase on the bed and the Woman has been throwing things into it. Pink things. Shoes. A water bottle. Candy bars. I know what this means. It means that she’s getting ready to head off to walk for the boobies again, and this time she’s taking the […]
Max, we have two friendly ferals outside, and I’d like to coax them inside. We’ve built a stairway to the 2nd floor balcony, and both cats use it. But, one cat doesn’t want to come in, and gets mad at the other cat if she does come in! Food (good, stinky stuff!), toys, love, warmth…none […]
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