Category: Columns

Ask Max Moday: Merry Ho Ho Ho!
[ 0 ] December 22, 2014 |

Ask Max Moday: Merry Ho Ho Ho!

Dear Max, My name is Bella and I think an alien spaceship landed in my neighborhood. I got the Klingons following me but they only do that when I leave the litter box. Mommy is mad at me because I scoot on the floor or ruggy thingy to kill the Klingons, but what’s a kitty […]

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Happy Holidays 2014
[ 4 ] December 19, 2014 |

Happy Holidays 2014

We want to wish you all a Merry Christmas or a Happy Hanukkah and a Happy New Year.  We hope you are all blessed. We are purring for those who do not have a home or enjoy regular meals, whether a furry or a human.  There are many who are depressed at this time of […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s Cone of Shame Month, It Seems
[ 5 ] December 15, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: It’s Cone of Shame Month, It Seems

Deer Max Sammy says there is no santa paws. Is this true? Mommy says i was named after his real name St Nicholas because mine gotcha day is right before chrissymouse. If there is no santa paws then mommy is lying and she will get coal in her stocking, and i will probably need a […]

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Obi, Maisy, Cliff, Chloe, Indy, Pixel, Maya and LittleLove Chat
[ 18 ] December 12, 2014 |

Obi, Maisy, Cliff, Chloe, Indy, Pixel, Maya and LittleLove Chat

Today we welcome Obi and his fun feline family from the blog Orange Boy Obi. It’s winter here so pull up a blanket and make yourself comfortable. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourselves and your family. Obi: I am Oberon Drake “Danger” Trax. I go by Obi to mah friends. I live wif my biological […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Red Dot Woes
[ 6 ] December 8, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: The Red Dot Woes

HAY MAX WARE CAN I GET SOME OF THEM CHERNOBUL GERLCATS? You have two choices: go to Chernobyl—that will require the borrowing of a person’s credit card and riding in an airplane for 183 hours, and then I think you’ll have to steal a car to actually get into Chernobyl because no people live there […]

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Kit Cats Delilah, Sampson, Sophie, Sassy and Caster
[ 13 ] December 5, 2014 |

Kit Cats Delilah, Sampson, Sophie, Sassy and Caster

We are pleased to have the fursiblings from Kitty Cat Chronicles with us today. They have a lot to say so we’ll get right to the interview. Funny Farmer Felines: Would you please introduce yourselves and your humans. Delilah: Hi, everyone! Thank you so much for having us over for an interview today. We are […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s Tree Time!
[ 8 ] December 1, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: It’s Tree Time!

You are so knowledgeable, Uncle Max!  I was worried about my couch stealing my fur, too, until I read your response to Banzai.  Now I am taking twice as many naps on my couch to grow twice as many new furs.  Do you know if the same principle applies to laundry?  I love sleeping on […]

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Ask Max Monday: What the Heck Is In My Food?
[ 5 ] November 24, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: What the Heck Is In My Food?

can we fire the mom – we had a question and she can't remember what it is You probably could, but I gotta remind you: she has the thumbs and you most likely need those in order to have food and water with the least amount of effort. If I were you, I would keep […]

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Psychokitty Max and Buddah Pest
[ 9 ] November 21, 2014 |

Psychokitty Max and Buddah Pest

Max from The Psychokitty Speaks Out is a well-known blogger, author and advice kitty. We believe he actually adds “the” to Buddah's name. (As in Buddah the Pest.) Max has been working hard to put the finishing touches on his latest book, but he made time in his busy schedule to answer a few questions […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Brevity Edition
[ 6 ] November 17, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: The Brevity Edition

HAY MAX, WARE COOD I GIT ONE OF FINNEGANS SISTERZ KITTINS WITH 22 NIPPULS? Chernobyl. She’ll probably look a lot like this. Wise Guru Uncle Max, I have a question.  Have you ever been in love?  If so, what does it feel like? Indigestion. Max, how many times will I have to chew the mom’s […]

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Ask Max Monday: Mating 101
[ 3 ] November 10, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Mating 101

Max, I like to chew things. They used to give me drink straws to chew on (Taco Bell and McD have very good ones.) After I chewed up my human's stethoscope they went and bought me a proper chew toy. BUT nobody really makes cat chew toys (Petstages has some for kittens, but they do not […]

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Ask Max Monday: Poly Vu Cat?
[ 8 ] November 3, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Poly Vu Cat?

Max, you ever try to teach your hooman to tok correckly? We say “meow” to da hooman, and she say “meow” back. And den we say “meow” to da hooman, and she say “meow” back. And den we say “meow” to da hooman, and she say “meow” back. And den we say “meow” to da […]

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Ask Max Monday: Growing Pains
[ 16 ] October 27, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Growing Pains

Max, I don’t know who else to turn to and you seem to be able to handle the big stuff, so I’m coming to you and I hope that’s all right. I’m a person and not a cat. My mom is dying. She has at best 5-6 weeks, and it came out of nowhere. I […]

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Ask Max Monday: Sorry Isn’t Enough. Nope.
[ 4 ] October 20, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Sorry Isn’t Enough. Nope.

max i am only too and a half pownds and i’m trying to bulk up a little. i eet a lot but it all comes out my pooper like a frate trane. I tride adding some fiber by kleening my lardbutt buddeez butt but the man with the short hed furz don’t like that. I […]

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Ask Max Monday: Squeak, Squeak, Squeak
[ 4 ] October 13, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Squeak, Squeak, Squeak

Sorry I’m late getting this online today; we had some computer issues and everything I had already done is stuck on a broken laptop, which meant re-writing and I had to ponder hard and re-organize my thinks before doing that. Max, so we asked you before about what we should do when that woman that […]

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Ask Max Monday:
[ 6 ] October 6, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday:

Oh. Um. Since I last checked, in came a question. So. Never mind. Deer Max, I deesided that maybe that littul freek cat izn’t so bad after all and maybe we can form an alliunce together and vote Fat Lard cat off the ilund. But now, Fat Lard wunts to make the littul freek cat […]

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Writers Hemingway and Shakespeare Blog
[ 8 ] October 3, 2014 |

Writers Hemingway and Shakespeare Blog

We have enjoyed becoming acquainted with Hemingway and Shakespeare from Two Cats Views.  They do, indeed have two views, which makes them interesting to interview.  Pull up a cushion and read their story. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourselves and your mom. Hemingway: I’m the handsome black tuxedo cat and I weigh about 19 pounds. […]

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Ask Max Monday: The World is Your Playground; the People, Your Jungle Gym
[ 1 ] September 29, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: The World is Your Playground; the People, Your Jungle Gym

Many purrs, Max! You are so wise! I have another question. As I was nipping at Big Sis Lily’s tail last night, she told me that I will not be a kitten forever. I’m okay with this–I want to get big and strong like Lily and Uncle Phelps. Lily tells me though that, once you […]

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Cindi Lou and Her Kitty Krew
[ 17 ] September 26, 2014 |

Cindi Lou and Her Kitty Krew

Cindi Lou, from the blog Through Squirrel Eyes, and the Kitty Krew – Adam, Spooky, Big Boy, Vincent, Marky, Bandit, Georgia, Gloria – are our interview guests this week. Pull up a cushion and listen to their tale. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourselves and your humans Adam: My name is Adam. My brothers are […]

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Ask Max Monday: A Max By Any Other Name Might Not Get Paid…
[ 3 ] September 22, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: A Max By Any Other Name Might Not Get Paid…

Thanks for your wisdom Max! Just to clarify, Human Daddy didn’t kick me–it certainly wasn’t the famed Bunny Kick of Death, which big sister Lily is working hard to teach me–he simply moved the foot I was attacking off the side of the bed, i.e. out of bounds. As I was anchored to that foot […]

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