Category: Columns

Ask Max Monday: You.Don’t.Know.

Ask Max Monday: You.Don’t.Know.

Hey Max Who are the dogs &why are they in YOUR HOUSE ! Dewey Those dogs are That Damned Dog Butters and his sister, Lady. And THANK BAST they were not at my house. They stayed in their own house and the Woman went there to watch them. She just came home last night and […]

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Ask Max Monday: SHE BETRAYED ME

Ask Max Monday: SHE BETRAYED ME

Do I look happy? DO I? I assure you, I am not happy. I am not happy because the Woman smells like dog. Specifically, TWO dogs. Worse, she smells like dog and has not been home the last three nights, leaving me without a lap to nap upon. She’s come home to feed Buddah and […]

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Good News Tewsday

Good News Tewsday

No need to call up a bunch of hot hunky firemen this time. A cat hanging from the edge of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway (BQE) was rescued after quick action from a group of Brooklyn students. Students from Benjamin Banneker Academy noticed the cat hanging off the expressway in the early afternoon and took action, getting […]

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Ask Max Monday: You’re Not Gonna Like My Answer…

Ask Max Monday: You’re Not Gonna Like My Answer…

Max/Buddah, I seriously need advice! I have two beautiful kitties, Angie (a senior) and Barney (just over a year old) who have a huge amount of toys. Barney, however, wants to play with poop. We clean the litter boxes daily and yet he’ll find a piece of poop, dig it out and bat it around. […]

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Ask Max Monday: Buddah Takes Over

Ask Max Monday: Buddah Takes Over

Hi! It’s me, Buddah, Max’s little brother even though he says I’m not really his brother, I’m just a pain in his asterisk. He’s kinda busy tonight, putting the final touches on his next book before it goes to the thingy that turns it from a manuscript into a real book, which doesn’t take very […]

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Ask Max Monday: Dash and Stash

Ask Max Monday: Dash and Stash

Max, my hooman has a noisy breffus masheen dat murders up bananas, spinnitch, oats, and meowlk into a gloopy paste dat she can drink. It lowt. It hurt my ears, and even tho she tells me she’s startin dat masheen and I shood go upstares, it tooo lowt. She yoosta eat hooman breffus soop, which […]

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Ask Max Monday: Nekkid Buddah? Hahahaha

Ask Max Monday: Nekkid Buddah? Hahahaha

Hi Max Do boy cats ever act like gentlemen or do they always act like kittens on crack? Thanks, Rosie Yes. No, really, we can be gentlemen, but we’ll also always, deep down, be furry little crackheads. Sometimes we’ll be nice and sweet, but every now and then a guy just has to go 3 […]

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Ask Max Monday: Goal Met, Hair Gone

Ask Max Monday: Goal Met, Hair Gone

Doods…y’all are awesome. Your generosity pushed the Woman’s fundraising for St. Baldrick’s over her goal by $4. This year she raised $1504, which is a lot more than last year, and a good part of it is because of you. That’s a lot of treatment funds, or maybe research money. Either way, there are sick […]

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Good News Tewzday: Don’t Cry Over It

Good News Tewzday: Don’t Cry Over It

No use crying over spilled milk, according to these opportunistic looters: Please follow and like us:

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Ask Max Monday: It’s Wuv, Twue Wuv

Ask Max Monday: It’s Wuv, Twue Wuv

Hi My Name is Jack and I am a large GingerTabby cat! I am about 3 years old! And I am the only Male in a Clowder of Female Cats! I need some LOVE Advice! Aspen used to love you Max! Well, I came to live here with Aspen back as a tiny kitten! V […]

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Ask Max Monday: Talkin’ the Talk…

Ask Max Monday: Talkin’ the Talk…

No questions this week, but that’s all right. Buddah and I have been busy working on something, and we’re not quite done for the day. Yep, you read that right. we’re working together on something. And in spite of how it looks, we’re not just messing up the bed (though we did do that, too.) […]

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Ask Max Monday: Shiver Yer Timbers…It’s Nice Here!

Ask Max Monday: Shiver Yer Timbers…It’s Nice Here!

Max – we got these new floors at our house. They are NOT carpet and we slide all over the place chasing toys. The mom thinks it is funny. Is it really ok for her to laugh that hard when we can’t apply the brakes on the new floor? It might not be okay, but […]

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Ask Max Monday: Sometimes ‘No’ Is The Answer, and It’s All Right

Ask Max Monday: Sometimes ‘No’ Is The Answer, and It’s All Right

Dear Max. We are having a big push here at the palace, to save the environment. Well when I say WE, I actually mean Mrs H, as she is the one that has to push the recycling bin down the palace driveway–all mile of it–and then push it back. Anyways, by changing our diets we […]

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Ask Max Monday: Gotcha

Ask Max Monday: Gotcha

Hey Max, sumtimes I haff trubble understand hyooman langwidge. Like, I try to be very polite and win I git on thare laps I present my bakside to them with my tale up so thay kan git a good sniff. And evry time thay tern me around and say, “No buttonface.” Whut’s a buttonface? I […]

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Good News Tewsday

Good News Tewsday

Melissa Stanley, a Fayetteville, NC cat owner, was distraught. Her cat, Lightskin, had scrambled up a tree after a squirrel and could not return to earth. After a week, she feared for his survival, and she fretted that he might fall into the creek next to the tree. She’d done everything she could to coax […]

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Ask Max Monday: Woof

Ask Max Monday: Woof

Max…. Our mom says we are getting new floors. In order to do that she is throwing out some stuff. Are we next???? Nah. She’s just taking the opportunity to cull the unused stuff from her belongings. People do that every now and then, and getting new floors is a good time because they have […]

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Ask Max Monday: Let’s All Vote for Nekkid Tripper!

Ask Max Monday: Let’s All Vote for Nekkid Tripper!

I know, I know…I'm late. My brain kept telling me it was Thursday and Friday all weekend, even though I also knew it was Saturday and Sunday and the Man was home last night instead of off passing gas. I'm getting old, doods. I suppose with that comes a little confusion about the calendar… * […]

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Ask Max Monday: Hork Hork Hork

Ask Max Monday: Hork Hork Hork

No worries Max, I just travelled back in time and copied the question. "Dear Max, I have just travelled back in time from Wednesday, and your post about last minute gift ideas, and have to say that you have some great ideas coming up. So definitely need to visit them and get them on your […]

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Ask Max Monday: Oops, I Did It Again…Redux

Ask Max Monday: Oops, I Did It Again…Redux

Okay. I have no idea what happened last week. I was 99% sure I’d answered questions, but to my surprise I had not. It’s not even like the Woman was out celebrating or anything and wasn’t home to turn the computer on for me. We just kinda spaced out. Chances are we got caught up […]

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Ask Max Monday: Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, Your Ornaments Are History…

Ask Max Monday: Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, Your Ornaments Are History…

My plans are to read "The Emperor of San Francisco" over the holiday break.  Is there anything I should know before I dive in?  Tips or storylines that may ease my transition into your book world? Really, there’s not anything you need to know. It’s light science fiction and takes place in the future; I […]

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