Category: Columns

Ask Max Monday: I’m not THAT old. Am I?

Ask Max Monday: I’m not THAT old. Am I?

Hey Max, my life is ruined. They added a kitten to the household and it’s really ticked me off. He’s always in my grill. The peeple took him to the stabby place to get fixed, but when he got home he was the same old irritating kitten–his irritatingness had obviously not been fixed. Can I […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: Yes, I Missed Last Week

Ask Max Monday: Yes, I Missed Last Week

I know, I know, there was no Ask Max Monday last Monday, but I have a pretty good reason and it involves nausea and not wanting to eat and an ouchy case of the Hershey Squirts…which I caught from BUDDAH. He got over it in a couple days. Me, not so much. There was a […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: I’ll Be There For You, Just Like Friends

Ask Max Monday: I’ll Be There For You, Just Like Friends

Dear Max, Box day is near and my mom no longer allows me to have any boxes. I like to sit in them and pee. This makes her go all kinds of crazy. I never get to have any box fun like the other kitties I read about. (BACK STORY: I am around 3 years […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: I’M GONNA BE EIGHTEEN!!!

Ask Max Monday: I’M GONNA BE EIGHTEEN!!!

Hello, Max, this is Horizon, and you always have such great answers that I thought I would talk things over with you. My Dad is the only person on earth I trust, ‘cause that lady he keeps around is the one who gives me medicine and takes me to the V-E-T. Anyway, they are planning […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: Goodness Gracious Great Balls of…Snot

Ask Max Monday: Goodness Gracious Great Balls of…Snot

Max, that is so cool that younow all this stuff. Where do you get it all from—reading, or do you have a hot line to that Julien guy and his encyclingpedia book? I’m clearly mixing with the wrong sort of mice as I’ve never met ones with gloves. Where isit this Mickey lives, as I’d […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: You Got the Right Stuff

Ask Max Monday: You Got the Right Stuff

Hey Max, I’ve caught more than a cupple of mice in my time, and not a single one has worn gloves. So please tell me: why does Mickey Mouse wear gloves? Two words: STICKY PEOPLE. Poor Mickey lives AND works in a place that’s always overrun by thousands and thousand of sticky people, and those […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: I’m Watching…Kinda

Ask Max Monday: I’m Watching…Kinda

Hey its Aspen! I cant helps it but I keep growling at young not quite age 3 year-old Jack! Your Right! He tries to bitey my neck and He is now so BIG, I cannot throw him off of me! Plus he wants to sniff my ** what should I do? I hide by Mom […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: MAX ATTACKS!!!

Ask Max Monday: MAX ATTACKS!!!

How many books does a cat need to write? I am heading towards my first being published and have more ideas for a series, but do not want to have to work harder than I have to as I have mouses catch and all that stuff. How many do plan to do? And does literary […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: Pay Your Insurance Premiums

Ask Max Monday: Pay Your Insurance Premiums

Nice advise on the hair thing, but the next time somecat tells you about the foods they don’t like eating, coodja give them my address and have them male it to me? I’ll eat anything. DOODS! SEND YOUR REJECTS TO HARVEY! Unless it’s steak. Then send that to me. = = = Max, I am […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: Hair of the…Cat, Or Something Like That

Ask Max Monday: Hair of the…Cat, Or Something Like That

MAX HOW DO I GROW A COMBOVER LIKE THAT ORINGE-FACED HYOOMAN HAS? I HAVE A SKIN KUNDISHUN WARE THEY SHAVED MY BAK INTO A REV-MO, AND THEY SHAVED ALL THE FURZ OFF MY TUMMEH, TOO. MY TUMMEH IS STILL BALD AND THE FURZ ON MY BAK ARE COMING IN PATCHY. IT DUZN’T GIT MUCH MORE […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: You.Don’t.Know.

Ask Max Monday: You.Don’t.Know.

Hey Max Who are the dogs &why are they in YOUR HOUSE ! Dewey Those dogs are That Damned Dog Butters and his sister, Lady. And THANK BAST they were not at my house. They stayed in their own house and the Woman went there to watch them. She just came home last night and […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: SHE BETRAYED ME

Ask Max Monday: SHE BETRAYED ME

Do I look happy? DO I? I assure you, I am not happy. I am not happy because the Woman smells like dog. Specifically, TWO dogs. Worse, she smells like dog and has not been home the last three nights, leaving me without a lap to nap upon. She’s come home to feed Buddah and […]

Read More

Good News Tewsday

Good News Tewsday

No need to call up a bunch of hot hunky firemen this time. A cat hanging from the edge of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway (BQE) was rescued after quick action from a group of Brooklyn students. Students from Benjamin Banneker Academy noticed the cat hanging off the expressway in the early afternoon and took action, getting […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: You’re Not Gonna Like My Answer…

Ask Max Monday: You’re Not Gonna Like My Answer…

Max/Buddah, I seriously need advice! I have two beautiful kitties, Angie (a senior) and Barney (just over a year old) who have a huge amount of toys. Barney, however, wants to play with poop. We clean the litter boxes daily and yet he’ll find a piece of poop, dig it out and bat it around. […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: Buddah Takes Over

Ask Max Monday: Buddah Takes Over

Hi! It’s me, Buddah, Max’s little brother even though he says I’m not really his brother, I’m just a pain in his asterisk. He’s kinda busy tonight, putting the final touches on his next book before it goes to the thingy that turns it from a manuscript into a real book, which doesn’t take very […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: Dash and Stash

Ask Max Monday: Dash and Stash

Max, my hooman has a noisy breffus masheen dat murders up bananas, spinnitch, oats, and meowlk into a gloopy paste dat she can drink. It lowt. It hurt my ears, and even tho she tells me she’s startin dat masheen and I shood go upstares, it tooo lowt. She yoosta eat hooman breffus soop, which […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: Nekkid Buddah? Hahahaha

Ask Max Monday: Nekkid Buddah? Hahahaha

Hi Max Do boy cats ever act like gentlemen or do they always act like kittens on crack? Thanks, Rosie Yes. No, really, we can be gentlemen, but we’ll also always, deep down, be furry little crackheads. Sometimes we’ll be nice and sweet, but every now and then a guy just has to go 3 […]

Read More

Ask Max Monday: Goal Met, Hair Gone

Ask Max Monday: Goal Met, Hair Gone

Doods…y’all are awesome. Your generosity pushed the Woman’s fundraising for St. Baldrick’s over her goal by $4. This year she raised $1504, which is a lot more than last year, and a good part of it is because of you. That’s a lot of treatment funds, or maybe research money. Either way, there are sick […]

Read More

Good News Tewzday: Don’t Cry Over It

Good News Tewzday: Don’t Cry Over It

No use crying over spilled milk, according to these opportunistic looters: Please follow and like us:

Read More

Ask Max Monday: It’s Wuv, Twue Wuv

Ask Max Monday: It’s Wuv, Twue Wuv

Hi My Name is Jack and I am a large GingerTabby cat! I am about 3 years old! And I am the only Male in a Clowder of Female Cats! I need some LOVE Advice! Aspen used to love you Max! Well, I came to live here with Aspen back as a tiny kitten! V […]

Read More

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers