Category: Columns

Ask Max Monday: Purring For Profit
[ 0 ] May 25, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Purring For Profit

um wait, your humans cannot flush the human litterbox after they pee, and they can’t shower all the time? Oh dood, come to New York – you can flush and shower all day and no one cares – and it probably smells a lot nicer here too. our the mom would spend all day gagging […]

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Amarula Kids Biltong and Zulu
[ 4 ] May 22, 2015 |

Amarula Kids Biltong and Zulu

We are pleased to interview Biltong, Amarula and Zulu from the blog Hairballs and Hissy Fits.  They have quite an unusual story to tell. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourselves and your human. Biltong: I’m a three year old male tabby oriental and I’m named after a favorite dried meat snack in South Africa (where […]

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Ask Max Monday: Flushing Out The Water Dish
[ 3 ] May 18, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Flushing Out The Water Dish

So Max, do you and Buddah have slap-fest fights? Miles and I have them and they are fun, but then he ruins it by screaming like a little girl, or a teenage girl in a horror movie. Sometimes we just sit facing each other with our paws in the air like we are going to […]

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Cat Scouts Felix and Maggie
[ 4 ] May 15, 2015 |

Cat Scouts Felix and Maggie

We are pleased to introduce Felix and Maggie, our first non-blogging interview subjects. They are, however, active online through Cat Scouts and Twitter, so pull up a cushion and make yourself comfortable. We will list their contact urls when we finish. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourselves and your human. Felix: I’m a 5 year […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Interest Owed For Desertion
[ 3 ] May 11, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: The Interest Owed For Desertion

Dear Wise Guru Uncle Max, Our humans did something totally inhumane–they left us for a whole day and a half. They served us brunch on Saturday and didn’t feed us again until their return on Sunday. We meant to give them cold tail to punish them, we really did, but you can imagine what 18 […]

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The Team Dash Kitten Family

The Team Dash Kitten Family

We are pleased to have the feline clowder from the blog Dash Kitten interviewing with us today. There are nine kitties but only four of them blog: Editor in Chief Miranda, Tech Editor Silver, Middle Earth Monday Correspondent Harvey Button, and Junior Blogger Phoebe. As the eldest, Peanut is The Boss of all, including Sienna, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Amazon. It Has Everything.

Ask Max Monday: Amazon. It Has Everything.

HAY MAX HOW DO I GET MY OWN BAT’LETH SWORD? I COODN’T FIND THEM ON AMAZON AND I THINK THEY WOOD COME IN HANDY WIN I’M SNAKE AND GOFER HUNTING. Dood, you didn’t look hard enough. Amazon has them! They’re pretty big, though. You might need to grow about 27” more inches tall and put […]

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15 Meows Make A Home

15 Meows Make A Home

What a pleasure to have a houseful of happy kitties from with us today, as 15andmeowing share their lives, loves and secrets. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourselves and your human. Lucy: Don’t tell anyone else, but I am Mom’s favorite. We read together every day which is why I do book reviews on Fridays […]

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Ask Max Monday: Cuddles Happen.
[ 6 ] April 27, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Cuddles Happen.

Dear Max My fur siblings have been just raving about your wise advice, so I just want to run a quick question by you. My human food person is pretty good at seeing to my basic needs, but unfortunately she is very affectionate, and constantly trying to pet and stroke me, and…..shudder….. Pick me up […]

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Ask Max Monday: Camo. The E-Ticket to Adventureland
[ 2 ] April 20, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Camo. The E-Ticket to Adventureland

Sir Max, In the morning before noms, I gotta chase and kill so I can eat with a happy tummy. I usually dump the toys out of the basket by the sink and chase cotton balls and tissue crumples and bestest of all, kill the cotton-ona-stick by dunking it in the water bowl. Then I […]

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Lou and Chevy, Gifts of the Universe
[ 9 ] April 17, 2015 |

Lou and Chevy, Gifts of the Universe

We are pleased to interview the cats from Live Love Meow today. We think you will enjoy meeting them, or getting better acquainted. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourselves and your human. Lou: We are Lou and Chevy. Our Mom is Sassenach. Thank you for interviewing us. Funny Farmer Felines: How did you come to […]

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Ask Max Monday: DON’T KISS THE DOG!
[ 5 ] April 13, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: DON’T KISS THE DOG!

Now Max I,Aspen,askedd you firsts to be my Valentine, remembers?? But Weezer she can com wiff uss as long as she knows I have first dibs on grooming your furry face & ears!!! Um, well, to be honest, Weezer asked me out first, like a couple of years ago. But even before that, a very […]

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Do You Miss the Funny Farmer Felines?
[ 5 ] April 10, 2015 |

Do You Miss the Funny Farmer Felines?

Since Mousebreath debuted, Jan’s Funny Farmer Felines have purrduced over 120 comprehensive  interviews with blogging cats, introducing readers to scores of cat blogs. But the FFFs have run out of cat bloggers to interview. So, they are expanding the scope of their interviews to include the typists behind the cats as well as cats who […]

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Ask Max Monday: Apparently, It’s Ladies Night. Or Week. Or Month. Or…I am so screwed…
[ 5 ] April 6, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Apparently, It’s Ladies Night. Or Week. Or Month. Or…I am so screwed…

Deer Max Speaking of poops, why doesn’t the mom appreciate it when I fling all the poops out of the litterbox and onto the floor where she can get to them easier? Sheesh, all she does is moan and complain about it, about having to wash the floor all the time and about the smell. […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s MEDICINE. For Reals.
[ 5 ] March 30, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: It’s MEDICINE. For Reals.

Hi again Max! Its Aspen again! I am a tweed. My face is darker. I am really nice and I have a Fishy scents of humor! Well I have also been spayed. But we could still have lots of funn! You know I love to go out and eat yard grass. Just the stuff that […]

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Ask Max Monday: The One Where I Hurt A Girl’s Feelings
[ 4 ] March 22, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: The One Where I Hurt A Girl’s Feelings

MAX, I asked you to BE MY Valentine, and you never responded. I am Aspen and I am 10. I am Gorgeous! But there is only so much rejectshun a girl can take! I am a TWEED a Siamese Snowshoe Mix. I am one of a kind. Like Y0U! See, I just know we will […]

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Ask Max Monday: …And The Big Yellow Taxi Took Him Away…
[ 4 ] March 16, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: …And The Big Yellow Taxi Took Him Away…

Dear Wise Guru Uncle Max, You’ll never guess what happened this week, Uncle Max! I got a new Uncle. He is 15 years old and he looks just like me, only much, much bigger. I would like to talk to him, but he just hisses and growls when he smells one of us younger cats […]

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Ask Max Monday: Mouse Thingies. Hear Them Cry.
[ 2 ] March 9, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Mouse Thingies. Hear Them Cry.

Dear Wise Guru Uncle Max, This has been the best winter ever!! (Technically, it’s my first winter since I’m not yet a year old…) Anyhow, I got a tree in my living room and saw white stuff fall from the sky and, most importantly of all, Miss Lily decided to be my girlfriend after I […]

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Buckaroo and Banzai Tout the Scouts
[ 10 ] March 6, 2015 |

Buckaroo and Banzai Tout the Scouts

Today we are interviewing Buckaroo and Banzai, two special Cat Scouts.  They are not special just because they are popular young bloggers at The Adventures of Buckaroo and Banzai, but because they live in the home of the Den Mother –  no, we mean the Den Master.  We are hopeful they will share a little […]

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Ask Max Monday: Which Witch White Witch? West Witch!
[ 4 ] March 2, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Which Witch White Witch? West Witch!

Max, you like to lik da graby sawce off da foods? We do. But the hooman gets all bent outta shape when we don’t eat da chunks and we just aks fur mor grabies. She run da chunks under da tap, finking she coud foool us. No way! She even aksted da stabby guy to […]

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