Category: Columns

Ask Max Monday: It Never Snows In Catifornia…

Ask Max Monday: It Never Snows In Catifornia…

Max! For the last 15 years my Humom has been stealing my poop every single day but today I noticed an email confirming her membership in something called the Kitty Poop Club. Does this mean that it’s not just her but an entire club harvesting kitty poop? I’m stunned to learn that for so many […]

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Ask Max Monday: Salute Your (Rainbow) Shorts

Ask Max Monday: Salute Your (Rainbow) Shorts

Dood – how come my mom is stoopid? I mean, she can’t see me when I’m right in front of her and she calls and calls and calls mine name and then freaks out when I don’t show up. Because I can see her. Why can’t she see me? I mean, I am right in […]

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26-year-old Shelter Cat Misses the Ride to the Sausage Factory

26-year-old Shelter Cat Misses the Ride to the Sausage Factory

GOOD NEWS TEWSDAY! A 26-year-old cat is getting a new lease on life after a foster home decided to “take a chance” on him. The elderly cat, named Thomas, was surrendered to the Baltimore County Animal Shelter last month after his owner was no longer able to care for him. A 26-year-old cat with senior […]

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Ask Max Monday: Zzzzz

Ask Max Monday: Zzzzz

Please settle an argument for me: I say that pooping in the mom’s slippers took a lot of skill. She says it’s just gross. Who is right? Well, really, you both are. I mean, getting your asterisk over the opening in the slippers takes some wicked math skills, calculating trajectory and all, and success is […]

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Ask Max Monday: Mocking’s Not Just For Birds…

Ask Max Monday: Mocking’s Not Just For Birds…

Dear Max, Due to a mouse shortage in these here parts, of the live but soon to be beaded kind, what can I use to keep my hunting skils high and still get the fun of the chase ? Toodle pips and purrs Erin There are always things in a house that can be hunted. […]

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Ask Max Monday: You’ve Got To Be Kitten Me…

Ask Max Monday: You’ve Got To Be Kitten Me…

Max, you have such a catspractical solution to these daily human kitten issues. I really liked the one about kitten sitting, tell me, does this work on unruly kitchen staff too? Toodle pips and purrs Erin Kitchen staff are a bit different from kittens. I recommend sitting on them, but the only thing it teaches […]

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Ask Max Monday: Doomed. DOOMED!

Ask Max Monday: Doomed. DOOMED!

Max….so our mom keeps taking the kittens places (and bringing her back). Then she went and bought…a STROLLER for her. What is wrong with those two?? I’ve had to think long and hard about this, because at one time the Woman also bought a stroller with the intent of taking Buddah and me on walks […]

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Ask Max Monday: Looks Like Everyone Was Busy This Week

Ask Max Monday: Looks Like Everyone Was Busy This Week

There really weren’t enough questions this week (one) and the Woman was all OOOOHHHH LET’S WATCH THE OSCARS INSTEAD OF WORKING last night, so here we are. I was pretty much like this all evening, staring at the Woman, trying to get her to do anything other than watch people celebrate movies that she didn’t […]

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Kitty Loaf Cats Arya and Django

Kitty Loaf Cats Arya and Django

If you aren’t acquainted with Django and Arya from the blog Kitty Loaf, pull up a cushion and join us as we get to know them. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your human. Django: Hi, my name is Django and I guess I’ll do the talking because my sister, Arya is pre-occupied with […]

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Ask Max Monday: Let’s ALL play “People Freakout!”

Ask Max Monday: Let’s ALL play “People Freakout!”

Wait, I can get genital acne? Should I find a blog post outlining a cure? Yes. Yes, you should. Find it, then summarize it, and submit it to every freaking address that seems remotely like a place that runs articles on genital acne. Like, dog blogs. Apparently, pet blogs are the place to submit things. […]

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Handsome Happy Marv

Handsome Happy Marv

Many of you have met the cat rescued from overseas who now oversees the Marvelous is Marvelous blog. Marv takes great selfies. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your human. Marv: Hi Guys! I am Marvelous, and I live with my human that I call Mom. Say Hi to Taylor, Cyndi, Rusty, Micah and […]

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Ask Max Monday: Look, I just work here…

Ask Max Monday: Look, I just work here…

Dear blog owner, I just HAPPENED to run across your blog and I think it’s OH SO NEAT and I wanted to write to you and heap tons of FAKE PRAISE on it so that I can convince you to write me back and confirm that this is a real email address. I’m going to […]

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Presenting Spider and Gracie

Presenting Spider and Gracie

Many of you will recognize these two feline ladies from their questions/comments on Ask Max, the Monday Mousebreath advice column. Yes, they are friends of Max the Psycho Kitty. We enjoy their wit and humor and believe you will too.  We invited Spider and Gracie to visit us so we can all become better acquainted. […]

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Ask Max Monday: Ok, She’s Better

Ask Max Monday: Ok, She’s Better

Deer Na  Dude Youse know mine little sisfur Sugar well most of de tyme wez gud. But lately she uz acting like a poop head  Iz started getting acne bumps and de mama drags me to de Vet to get dem check out and popped sum tymes  When I getz home already feeling shitty fur […]

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Miss Cuddlywumps, Webster and Paisley

Miss Cuddlywumps, Webster and Paisley

Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourselves and your human. Miss Cuddlywumps: I am Miss Cuddlywumps, but I prefer to be called Miss C. I am a classically educated calico cat who is familiar with mysteries. I am the brains behind our blog, The Cuddlywumps Cat Chronicles, and I star in my own cozy mystery series, […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Unedition

Ask Max Monday: The Unedition

Doods, the Woman is not feeling well, so I’m just propped up here purring, trying to make her feel better. We’ll be back next week, so leave a question or email it, and hopefully she can help me type up the answers. Got a question for me? You can leave it in the comments below, […]

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Three Chatty Cats Chat

Three Chatty Cats Chat

Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourselves and your human. Sophie: Hello, there! My name is Sophie, I’m the youngest and most beautiful of the Three Chatty Cats. My older and much less beautiful sister, Olive, is the grumpiest. And Dexter, our big bro, is the handsomest (and shyest). Olive: I’m only grumpy when you’re around! […]

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Ask Max Monday: Oh, Brother

Ask Max Monday: Oh, Brother

Max – we haz a question. So…we have the colds here, then the slightly warms, then the colds, then warms…. mom mutters something about Mother Nature taking a pill. Can that be done? We would like to live with permanent kind of warms so the windows can be open all the time. That would have […]

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The Cat’s Eye Boyz Tell All

The Cat’s Eye Boyz Tell All

Actually, Thompson, Diego-san and Theo don’t tell all, but they do tell enough to get your attention. Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourselves. Theo: Hi! My name is Thelonious, Theo for short! I’m happy you are all interested in me and my brothers. The food guy says I’m such a friendly and playful cat! He […]

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Cat Chats 2018

Cat Chats 2018

Our cat interviews were unavoidably delayed a few months, but they are returning this Friday, January 26, 2018.  We have three ready to publish and are waiting on responses from two. We will post as interviews are available, so their frequency will depend on you.  Are you a blogger, a Cat Scout, on social media […]

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