Category: Ask Max Monday

Ask Max Monday: Reed Mohr Buhks!

Ask Max Monday: Reed Mohr Buhks!

Eww, they are getting other animals germs on them! Where are the hazmat suits, Max? So, here’s my question for you, Max: since you are an author of books, do you read books too? Or listen to audiobooks? I don’t think anyone can be a halfway decent writer if they don’t read. Every day I […]

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Ask Max Monday: I Need the Thumbs to Come Home

Ask Max Monday: I Need the Thumbs to Come Home

Oh wise Max, Whyyyyyyyy did we have to wait so long for breakfast on Sunday morning? And dinner? You’d think the human would have compensated us for the late breakfast. Is this going to be the way it is forever–chow a WHOLE HOUR late? Who does our human think she is? It’s only gonna be […]

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Ask Max Monday: TWO MORE MONTHS

Ask Max Monday: TWO MORE MONTHS

What kind of charity needs her to wear those pants, or do i want to know? Max, what is your very favorite toy of all time ? She doesn’t HAVE to wear them and I think the charity would prefer she didn’t. SHE LIKES THEM. I KNOW! I don’t really have a favorite toy since […]

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Ask Max Monday: I CAN Say That, and I Will…

Ask Max Monday: I CAN Say That, and I Will…

Those pants should be illegal, Max! Here’s my question: Why can’t you talk Buddah into barfing on those pants, so they are ruined and must me dispatched to the Great Pants God in the sky? That will teach her…*evil grin* It wouldn’t do any good to have him hork on them. Aside from having a […]

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Ask Max Monday: My Eyes. MY EYES!

Ask Max Monday: My Eyes. MY EYES!

Max, why did it go all black this week? It was pretty cool. The humans couldn’t see and it wuz funny cuz we could see just fine. I can’t wait for it to go all black again. The Northern California power outage is a complicated topic, but I’ll say this much: everything went black because […]

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Ask Max Monday: Poop Happens

Ask Max Monday: Poop Happens

Hey Max, So the mom set up a room for the foster kittens and it is great cause they have their own space (OK – except Daiquiri isn’t happy cause it is harder for her to get to the kitten food, but whatever). Then the other night mom comes home and brings BACK a foster […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Weight of Words

Ask Max Monday: The Weight of Words

hay max! What are yoo dressin up as fer halloween this yeer? How bout Buddah? And how many sleeps till krissmiss? How much longer do I hafta be good for Santa to bring me stuff? This year I’m gonna be a world-renowned author for Halloween. And like a lot of writers, I’ll be hiding in […]

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Ask Max Monday: You’re The Jerk…But Not Really

Ask Max Monday: You’re The Jerk…But Not Really

Dear Max. Thanks for the Costco tip. Now as we liked your Christmas decoration post last week, we got to wondering what we would celebrate if, heaven forbid, Christmas didn’t exist. Also how we would celebrate the alternative. What would be your idea of a celebration and how would you celebrate it? Purrs Erin Paws […]

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Ask Max Monday: CHONK IS LIFE

Ask Max Monday: CHONK IS LIFE

Hi Max, Mahm sez I make a better door than a windo. Wut duz dat mean?! (Dis jennerly happen in bed rite befor she deeside I dont get to sit on her buhk or nekk or teevee stan no more.) Fanks, Gracie It means you’re fat, dood. Large and in charge. A Chonky Kitty. Don’t […]

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Ask Max Monday: REED MOHR BUHKS!

Ask Max Monday: REED MOHR BUHKS!

Max, how sweet that you bought a bicycle for your meowmy! I like that she celebrates her birthday for a whole month; I try to do the same! My birthday, however, is in a cold month, so I always have changeable weather. My next birthday is a BIG ONE, so what do you suggest that […]

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Ask Max Monday: School’s Back In Session!

Ask Max Monday: School’s Back In Session!

Hi Guys! Did you get the woman a present? We never get our humans a present. We are all the gifts they need! Paxx & Rosie I got her a new bicycle. She thinks she bought it for herself, but we all know the truth. It was me. All me. I let her pick out […]

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Ask Max Monday: She’s old. Really old.

Ask Max Monday: She’s old. Really old.

This weekend the Woman has been off doing things other than paying attention to me and catering to my whims. Worse, the Man is complicit in her inattention by going off and doing things with her. We’ve gotten NO work done, and because of that, no Ask Max Monday this week. Today, though, it’s her […]

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Ask Max Monday: Grace

Ask Max Monday: Grace

I sent you a letter about 2 weeks ago. It could be that I did not send it. It could be that while you were on vacation you missed it. I wrote a very heartfelt letter and I cannot duplicate it here. I will try to give you the jist of the letter. Our cat, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Crunchie Water, For Free

Ask Max Monday: Crunchie Water, For Free

Max, I don’t know if you publish ressipeez, but I haff one for kittehs dat liff in hotter plases: Speshill Wotter. It is EZ to make if you can find a hooman wiff fumbs to open da freezer and get da cold crunchie wotter yoonits owt. Poot da cold crunchie wotter yoonits in da wotter […]

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Ask Max Monday: Pucker Up

Ask Max Monday: Pucker Up

Buddah good to see you AND your dignity. My question is why is it as soon as the credit card is paid off a cat has to get sick and cost lots of money at the V-E-T ?! I asked Buddah his opinion on this, but it’s been an hour and he’s still talking, and […]

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Ask Max Monday: Buddah Here

Ask Max Monday: Buddah Here

Hi. Buddah here. Max didn’t get any questions for this week and he’s sulking in the other room, or maybe he’s working, I’m not really sure since it looks the same no matter what he’s doing, and he might be working because the Mom is taking notes and she usually does that when they work, […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’m not THAT old. Am I?

Ask Max Monday: I’m not THAT old. Am I?

Hey Max, my life is ruined. They added a kitten to the household and it’s really ticked me off. He’s always in my grill. The peeple took him to the stabby place to get fixed, but when he got home he was the same old irritating kitten–his irritatingness had obviously not been fixed. Can I […]

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Ask Max Monday: Yes, I Missed Last Week

Ask Max Monday: Yes, I Missed Last Week

I know, I know, there was no Ask Max Monday last Monday, but I have a pretty good reason and it involves nausea and not wanting to eat and an ouchy case of the Hershey Squirts…which I caught from BUDDAH. He got over it in a couple days. Me, not so much. There was a […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’ll Be There For You, Just Like Friends

Ask Max Monday: I’ll Be There For You, Just Like Friends

Dear Max, Box day is near and my mom no longer allows me to have any boxes. I like to sit in them and pee. This makes her go all kinds of crazy. I never get to have any box fun like the other kitties I read about. (BACK STORY: I am around 3 years […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’M GONNA BE EIGHTEEN!!!

Ask Max Monday: I’M GONNA BE EIGHTEEN!!!

Hello, Max, this is Horizon, and you always have such great answers that I thought I would talk things over with you. My Dad is the only person on earth I trust, ‘cause that lady he keeps around is the one who gives me medicine and takes me to the V-E-T. Anyway, they are planning […]

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