Category: Ask Max Monday

Ask Max Monday: Look, I just work here…

Ask Max Monday: Look, I just work here…

Dear blog owner, I just HAPPENED to run across your blog and I think it’s OH SO NEAT and I wanted to write to you and heap tons of FAKE PRAISE on it so that I can convince you to write me back and confirm that this is a real email address. I’m going to […]

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Ask Max Monday: Ok, She’s Better

Ask Max Monday: Ok, She’s Better

Deer Na  Dude Youse know mine little sisfur Sugar well most of de tyme wez gud. But lately she uz acting like a poop head  Iz started getting acne bumps and de mama drags me to de Vet to get dem check out and popped sum tymes  When I getz home already feeling shitty fur […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Unedition

Ask Max Monday: The Unedition

Doods, the Woman is not feeling well, so I’m just propped up here purring, trying to make her feel better. We’ll be back next week, so leave a question or email it, and hopefully she can help me type up the answers. Got a question for me? You can leave it in the comments below, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Oh, Brother

Ask Max Monday: Oh, Brother

Max – we haz a question. So…we have the colds here, then the slightly warms, then the colds, then warms…. mom mutters something about Mother Nature taking a pill. Can that be done? We would like to live with permanent kind of warms so the windows can be open all the time. That would have […]

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Ask Max Monday: Buddah Pest Sez Hi

Ask Max Monday: Buddah Pest Sez Hi

Greetings from Buddah Pest Max is takin’s a nap because he didn’t have any questions to answer this week and said he needed to ponder what he wanted to write about so I decided he needed a vacation and I could take over and stare at everyone because you’re all kinda spiffy looking and I […]

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Ask Max Monday: C’mon Baby Light My Fire

Ask Max Monday: C’mon Baby Light My Fire

Max! I am a former feral kitten but now I live inside with my cat mom. I still have my street cred and I think I have a tattoo that says “Feral Forever” that I got at the stabby place, but I like my noms and my heated cat cup too. Can I be a […]

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Ask Max Monday: Relax, Doods, Santa is Sleeping

Ask Max Monday: Relax, Doods, Santa is Sleeping

Max, the other day I had to wate until SEVEN in the morning before the man got up to gimme my brekfist. And then yesterday he didn’t gimme brekfist until SEVENTHIRDY! I tride yelling and banging on his bedroom door, but I think he is def acuz it dint do any good. Shud I call […]

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Ask Max Monday: HAPPY NEW YEAR, DOODS!

Ask Max Monday: HAPPY NEW YEAR, DOODS!

Dear Max: Last night my mom said if I don’t leave my brother alone, she’s gonna knock me into next week. How far is that? Will I like it there? Thanks! Love, Sammi P.S. My mom would never hurt me. I’m just curious. You know. Well, since next week is one week into the new […]

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Ask Max Monday: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Ask Max Monday: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

  Got a question for me? Drop me a line at askmaxmonday@gmail.com

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Ask Max Monday: Yes I Know It’s Tuesday…

Ask Max Monday: Yes I Know It’s Tuesday…

Max – apparently ceramic catmas treest DO NOT BOUNCE. I thought that because there was carpet it would. BTW – I gotted a gotcha day tree – it’s cat sized and PURPLE TINSEL. It does not taste good. Mine brofur is hafing an oper-way-shun on his tummy. How long should I wait until I chase […]

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Ask Max Monday: Strolling Into the Holidays. Kinda.

Ask Max Monday: Strolling Into the Holidays. Kinda.

Deer Max Dood, I LOVE CATMAS!!!! I love the trees and ornamints, and stuff all ofur the table. I especially love it on the floor. Apparently mine mom is a GRINCH and HATES me and HATES catmas. She WILL NOT get a tree. Again. Because she complains that I break everything off the tree, rip […]

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Ask Max Monday: ‘Tis The Season!

Ask Max Monday: ‘Tis The Season!

Max —- HALP!!!! I overherd the peeps I live with talking about NOT gitting a Crissmiss tress acuz they are tired of sweeping up broken ornamints. If I promiss them not to brake any if they git the tree, well, whut’s the point of even having one? I dunno why they hafta be so pissy […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’m Back!

Ask Max Monday: I’m Back!

My hooman has lerned to unerstand and speak cat purty well but, most hoomans don’t pay attention to what we say.  That includes dog hoomans.  My neighbor is a dogsund that hates to be put outside and left alone or left in the house alone; he keeps trying to tell his hooman and drives me […]

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Ask Max Monday: DO I LOOK HAPPY???

Ask Max Monday: DO I LOOK HAPPY???

DO I? I am not. There is a suitcase on the bed and the Woman has been throwing things into it. Pink things. Shoes. A water bottle. Candy bars. I know what this means. It means that she’s getting ready to head off to walk for the boobies again, and this time she’s taking the […]

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Ask Max Monday: My Breakfast Was Late, Too…

Ask Max Monday: My Breakfast Was Late, Too…

Max, we have two friendly ferals outside, and I’d like to coax them inside. We’ve built a stairway to the 2nd floor balcony, and both cats use it. But, one cat doesn’t want to come in, and gets mad at the other cat if she does come in! Food (good, stinky stuff!), toys, love, warmth…none […]

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Ask Max Monday: This Is What You Get…

Ask Max Monday: This Is What You Get…

…when I get no questions. Me, staring into the abyss. Or it might have been the Woman’s whiskers bothering me, but still. Yeah, that’s probably it. Like, she’s not supposed to have any? But she’s well on her way to growing the Freshman Starter Goatee. It’s kinda disturbing. Got a question for me? You can […]

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Ask Max Monday: October Chill

Ask Max Monday: October Chill

Dear Max, my doggie minion, Bessie the Basset, has a weird fettish. She keeps rubbing herself up against my human’s leg most evenings! It is so-o rude & crude! Has she no decency? Has she no dignity, no self respect?! Does she not know that she is a female & a “fixed” old doggie to […]

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Ask Max Monday: Pucker Up

Ask Max Monday: Pucker Up

Max…. so we got a new addition. Only we think something may have broken in transport cause her head sits kind of funny. Mom says it is due to an ear infection the kitten had. We think we should sue the delivery company. What do you think? Random Felines Well, you could, I suppose. The […]

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Ask Max Monday: Sneaky Snacky Treats

Ask Max Monday: Sneaky Snacky Treats

Dear Mr. Max, I am Sterling and I am six months old. I got dopted from the shelter about a month ago by a nice lady. She gives me hugs and kisses (ick) and pets my cheeks just right. There is other cats here who are mostly OK one of them plays with me sometimes. […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Newby Addition

Ask Max Monday: The Newby Addition

How do you integrate a new cat into the household? We were adopted by a stray cat last weekend. Once we found out that none of the shelters would take in the stray, well, there was only one thing left to do, keep him. The vet thinks he is 5, and Knucks is 9 or […]

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