Category: Ask Max Monday

Ask Max Monday: REED MOHR BUHKS!

Ask Max Monday: REED MOHR BUHKS!

Max, how sweet that you bought a bicycle for your meowmy! I like that she celebrates her birthday for a whole month; I try to do the same! My birthday, however, is in a cold month, so I always have changeable weather. My next birthday is a BIG ONE, so what do you suggest that […]

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Ask Max Monday: School’s Back In Session!

Ask Max Monday: School’s Back In Session!

Hi Guys! Did you get the woman a present? We never get our humans a present. We are all the gifts they need! Paxx & Rosie I got her a new bicycle. She thinks she bought it for herself, but we all know the truth. It was me. All me. I let her pick out […]

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Ask Max Monday: She’s old. Really old.

Ask Max Monday: She’s old. Really old.

This weekend the Woman has been off doing things other than paying attention to me and catering to my whims. Worse, the Man is complicit in her inattention by going off and doing things with her. We’ve gotten NO work done, and because of that, no Ask Max Monday this week. Today, though, it’s her […]

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Ask Max Monday: Grace

Ask Max Monday: Grace

I sent you a letter about 2 weeks ago. It could be that I did not send it. It could be that while you were on vacation you missed it. I wrote a very heartfelt letter and I cannot duplicate it here. I will try to give you the jist of the letter. Our cat, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Crunchie Water, For Free

Ask Max Monday: Crunchie Water, For Free

Max, I don’t know if you publish ressipeez, but I haff one for kittehs dat liff in hotter plases: Speshill Wotter. It is EZ to make if you can find a hooman wiff fumbs to open da freezer and get da cold crunchie wotter yoonits owt. Poot da cold crunchie wotter yoonits in da wotter […]

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Ask Max Monday: Pucker Up

Ask Max Monday: Pucker Up

Buddah good to see you AND your dignity. My question is why is it as soon as the credit card is paid off a cat has to get sick and cost lots of money at the V-E-T ?! I asked Buddah his opinion on this, but it’s been an hour and he’s still talking, and […]

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Ask Max Monday: Buddah Here

Ask Max Monday: Buddah Here

Hi. Buddah here. Max didn’t get any questions for this week and he’s sulking in the other room, or maybe he’s working, I’m not really sure since it looks the same no matter what he’s doing, and he might be working because the Mom is taking notes and she usually does that when they work, […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’m not THAT old. Am I?

Ask Max Monday: I’m not THAT old. Am I?

Hey Max, my life is ruined. They added a kitten to the household and it’s really ticked me off. He’s always in my grill. The peeple took him to the stabby place to get fixed, but when he got home he was the same old irritating kitten–his irritatingness had obviously not been fixed. Can I […]

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Ask Max Monday: Yes, I Missed Last Week

Ask Max Monday: Yes, I Missed Last Week

I know, I know, there was no Ask Max Monday last Monday, but I have a pretty good reason and it involves nausea and not wanting to eat and an ouchy case of the Hershey Squirts…which I caught from BUDDAH. He got over it in a couple days. Me, not so much. There was a […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’ll Be There For You, Just Like Friends

Ask Max Monday: I’ll Be There For You, Just Like Friends

Dear Max, Box day is near and my mom no longer allows me to have any boxes. I like to sit in them and pee. This makes her go all kinds of crazy. I never get to have any box fun like the other kitties I read about. (BACK STORY: I am around 3 years […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’M GONNA BE EIGHTEEN!!!

Ask Max Monday: I’M GONNA BE EIGHTEEN!!!

Hello, Max, this is Horizon, and you always have such great answers that I thought I would talk things over with you. My Dad is the only person on earth I trust, ‘cause that lady he keeps around is the one who gives me medicine and takes me to the V-E-T. Anyway, they are planning […]

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Ask Max Monday: Goodness Gracious Great Balls of…Snot

Ask Max Monday: Goodness Gracious Great Balls of…Snot

Max, that is so cool that younow all this stuff. Where do you get it all from—reading, or do you have a hot line to that Julien guy and his encyclingpedia book? I’m clearly mixing with the wrong sort of mice as I’ve never met ones with gloves. Where isit this Mickey lives, as I’d […]

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Ask Max Monday: You Got the Right Stuff

Ask Max Monday: You Got the Right Stuff

Hey Max, I’ve caught more than a cupple of mice in my time, and not a single one has worn gloves. So please tell me: why does Mickey Mouse wear gloves? Two words: STICKY PEOPLE. Poor Mickey lives AND works in a place that’s always overrun by thousands and thousand of sticky people, and those […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’m Watching…Kinda

Ask Max Monday: I’m Watching…Kinda

Hey its Aspen! I cant helps it but I keep growling at young not quite age 3 year-old Jack! Your Right! He tries to bitey my neck and He is now so BIG, I cannot throw him off of me! Plus he wants to sniff my ** what should I do? I hide by Mom […]

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Ask Max Monday: MAX ATTACKS!!!

Ask Max Monday: MAX ATTACKS!!!

How many books does a cat need to write? I am heading towards my first being published and have more ideas for a series, but do not want to have to work harder than I have to as I have mouses catch and all that stuff. How many do plan to do? And does literary […]

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Ask Max Monday: Pay Your Insurance Premiums

Ask Max Monday: Pay Your Insurance Premiums

Nice advise on the hair thing, but the next time somecat tells you about the foods they don’t like eating, coodja give them my address and have them male it to me? I’ll eat anything. DOODS! SEND YOUR REJECTS TO HARVEY! Unless it’s steak. Then send that to me. = = = Max, I am […]

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Ask Max Monday: Hair of the…Cat, Or Something Like That

Ask Max Monday: Hair of the…Cat, Or Something Like That

MAX HOW DO I GROW A COMBOVER LIKE THAT ORINGE-FACED HYOOMAN HAS? I HAVE A SKIN KUNDISHUN WARE THEY SHAVED MY BAK INTO A REV-MO, AND THEY SHAVED ALL THE FURZ OFF MY TUMMEH, TOO. MY TUMMEH IS STILL BALD AND THE FURZ ON MY BAK ARE COMING IN PATCHY. IT DUZN’T GIT MUCH MORE […]

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Ask Max Monday: You.Don’t.Know.

Ask Max Monday: You.Don’t.Know.

Hey Max Who are the dogs &why are they in YOUR HOUSE ! Dewey Those dogs are That Damned Dog Butters and his sister, Lady. And THANK BAST they were not at my house. They stayed in their own house and the Woman went there to watch them. She just came home last night and […]

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Ask Max Monday: SHE BETRAYED ME

Ask Max Monday: SHE BETRAYED ME

Do I look happy? DO I? I assure you, I am not happy. I am not happy because the Woman smells like dog. Specifically, TWO dogs. Worse, she smells like dog and has not been home the last three nights, leaving me without a lap to nap upon. She’s come home to feed Buddah and […]

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Ask Max Monday: You’re Not Gonna Like My Answer…

Ask Max Monday: You’re Not Gonna Like My Answer…

Max/Buddah, I seriously need advice! I have two beautiful kitties, Angie (a senior) and Barney (just over a year old) who have a huge amount of toys. Barney, however, wants to play with poop. We clean the litter boxes daily and yet he’ll find a piece of poop, dig it out and bat it around. […]

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