Category: Ask Max Monday

Ask Max Monday: Yeah…Where’s Our Bling?
[ 5 ] March 3, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Yeah…Where’s Our Bling?

Max, we want to know when the right time is to tell the food lady she’s adopted. Spider, my sister from another litter, says she originally adopted the food lady many naps ago when she was “between houses.” Now she owns the food lady’s house, especially the sofa. (She reminds me of that often.) Anyway, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Climb Every Mount…Person
[ 1 ] February 24, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Climb Every Mount…Person

Dear Max, The food lady works from home 3 days a week. You’d think this would would be good news. After all, like the food lady sez, “Stinky goodness doesn’t grow on trees, girls.” We were hoping for all-day breffus buffay, more scritches, and more napping on the food lady’s legs and boobs. (Yes, you […]

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Ask Max Monday: Turning Tricks
[ 6 ] February 17, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Turning Tricks

Dear Max – something terrible has happened here. We have always enjoyed nomming on certain dry kibbles and certain canned stinky goodness. Well, the canned stinky goodness just sits and sits in the cabinet, and now we see that the bag for our dry kibble has changed. And it tastes like cardboard. Poor Nicky has […]

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Ask Max Monday: Hello Kitty Pillow
[ 3 ] February 10, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Hello Kitty Pillow

Oh wize guru Max, I have a question for you. Why is the human so stoooopid? It takes forever for the elder cat and me to get through to her! The Elder cat, Fudgie, sits on the back of her chair staring at the empty food bowl and flapping her tail into the woman’s face, […]

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Ask Max Monday: =sniff=
[ 7 ] February 3, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: =sniff=

I told Buddah I didn’t have any questions to answer this week. Now, I had expected him to suddenly ask me a bunch of questions, but no, he felt bad for me. Or maybe he felt bad because he invested his evening in watching the Superb owl. He was so disappointed when he realized it […]

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Ask Max Monday: Dear Me
[ 9 ] January 27, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Dear Me

All right, dood, you’re twelve and a half years old now; you’ve gotten some quality living under your furry belt. Think back to the day you got your forever home. What would your current self tell your kitten self? ~Vader Dear Newby Max, Right about now you’re in the car of the Really Tall Guy […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Holes in a People’s Heart
[ 5 ] January 20, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: The Holes in a People’s Heart

Hiya Max, it’s us again. I’ve been wanting to write and say thanks you for your good advices back 2 months ago when my sisfur Winky went to the Rainbow Bridge – we all thought you gave us some good ideas on how we could feel better and how to help makes the Mom feel […]

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Ask Max Monday: Carpe the Diem
[ 2 ] January 13, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Carpe the Diem

Max, Santy Claws brawt us a remote control mousie to chase. The food lady is having waaaay too much fun wiff it. Even after we’re done wiff it, she won’t leave us alone. We could bat da mousie under da fridge next time or have the remote meet wiff some unfortunate accident involving an open […]

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Ask Max Monday: Dealing With The Big Booms
[ 2 ] January 6, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Dealing With The Big Booms

Dear Max, Happy New Year! I have been reading your column and your blog for about a year now. You’re smart and a cat – what’s not to like? I’d like to get you opinion on this. We are trying to encourage Knuckles to spend more time in other rooms of the house besides the […]

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Ask Max Monday: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
[ 6 ] December 30, 2013 |

Ask Max Monday: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Guys, guys, guys…I hope your holidays have been filled with more Spiffy than you can handle, and all the Awesome you could have possibly hoped for. Buddah and I had a nice Christmas with the Man, the Woman, and the Younger Human, with lots of real live fresh dead shrimp to nom upon, and Twinkies […]

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Ask Max Monday: MERRY CHRISTMAS, DOODS!!!
[ 4 ] December 23, 2013 |

Ask Max Monday: MERRY CHRISTMAS, DOODS!!!

Dear Max, I just caught one of my cats beating one of my sister’s dogs. The dog is more than thrice her size. Why are dogs wimps? How do I keep my cats from beating the poop out of the dogs? I once wrote to you about my cats stealing yje dogs’ food, so we […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s Time to Be Good!
[ 7 ] December 16, 2013 |

Ask Max Monday: It’s Time to Be Good!

MAX! HELP!! Mine brothers just reminded me that chrissymouse is in like 138 sleeps. OH MY BAST!! I has not been the bestest kitty this year, and I just can’t help it but I has to knock everything off the table when I’m near it. Now, I personally think that this is the Mom’s fault […]

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Ask Max Monday: Shrinkage Happens
[ 3 ] December 9, 2013 |

Ask Max Monday: Shrinkage Happens

Halp! Our human is shrinking! The human used to be all big and squishy now it’s less big and less squishy, specially around the tummy. We herd other humans say ours lost “four inches.” We looked and looked in the house but did not find inches. What are inches? Why is our human shrinking? Well, […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Other White Meat
[ 2 ] December 2, 2013 |

Ask Max Monday: The Other White Meat

Am I wrong for biting the mom when she removes my eye boogers? I mean, I don’t go sticking my claws into her eyes to remove some gross slimy crud from her face. Why can’t she just leave my face alone? No, you’re not wrong—you’re doing her a service by biting her when she bothers […]

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Ask Max Monday: HAPPY THANKSGIVING, DOODS!
[ 2 ] November 25, 2013 |

Ask Max Monday: HAPPY THANKSGIVING, DOODS!

Max, how does we get our paws on some Fanksgiving turkey? It’s better than chikins and stinky goodness combined. Remember, we don’t have opposable fumbs. Loyal Fans Furever, Gracie and Spider The first thing you do is wait for the people to sit down to eat, then do the cute thing. You know, sit there […]

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Ask Max Monday: Phone Home, Dood.
[ 2 ] November 18, 2013 |

Ask Max Monday: Phone Home, Dood.

Hey Max, remember when you said a cat’s belly button is there under the fur but smooth? Well, I got shaved and I can’t find mine. What gives? Dood. I am so sorry. You’re a mutant. Probably of alien origin. If you hear any strange noises in your head, it’s the mothership calling you home. […]

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Ask Max Monday: Own the Stink, Dood
[ 5 ] November 11, 2013 |

Ask Max Monday: Own the Stink, Dood

Hi Mr. Max. I’m gonna make this kinda quick because we are all really sad here. My big sisfur Winky just had to go to the Stabby Guy on last Monday and she didn’t come home; the Stabby Guy said she had a cancer that he said must have been a really fast growing kind […]

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Ask Max Monday: Seek and Ye Might Not Find
[ 5 ] November 4, 2013 |

Ask Max Monday: Seek and Ye Might Not Find

Dear Max, We normally help mom with the foster kittens. But right now there is a weird sound coming from the bathroom. It kinda sounds like she brought home a baby chick-hen. How do we find out since she won’t let us in there right now (something about the babies not having enough shots)? And […]

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Ask Max Monday: Don’t Lick a Bellybutton, Either
[ 4 ] October 28, 2013 |

Ask Max Monday: Don’t Lick a Bellybutton, Either

Ok so you have us some good advice when before the little person came so we need more. We thought all the toys were ours. Now he will pick up the balls and play with them. And he plays with the plane with the string that makes noise that we love to drag around. Do […]

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Ask Max Monday: Wash Your Pits…We’re Going To Lick Them
[ 4 ] October 21, 2013 |

Ask Max Monday: Wash Your Pits…We’re Going To Lick Them

Dear Max – So I sneaked into the spare bedroom and hid there until the mom closed the door, and then I took a nap. And then I heard her shreiking mine name for like HOURS. I was comfy so I did not answer. She finally opened up the bedroom door and found me, and […]

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