Category: Ask Max Monday

Ask Max Monday: It’s Not The End Of The World As We Know It…
[ 5 ] December 14, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: It’s Not The End Of The World As We Know It…

Max….our mom is mean and doesn’t put up a Christ-mouse tree. If we don’t have a tree, how are we getting presents??? Doesn’t Santa Claws have to have a tree to put our stuff under??? Random Felines Doods, now worries. Santa is pretty resourceful and as long as he can get in, he leave presents […]

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Ask Max Monday: Countdown to Santa
[ 5 ] December 7, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Countdown to Santa

  Why does your mug have a “B” on it? Is it for Big Beautiful Bascat? ~BratCat Supposedly the “B” is for “Buddah,” because he likes to drink out of a mug on the counter instead of the fountain. Truly, I think it stands for “Bonehead” or perhaps another head equal to the posterior attached […]

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ASK MAX MONDAY: Y’all Are Still Eating, Aren’t You…?
[ 5 ] November 30, 2015 |

ASK MAX MONDAY: Y’all Are Still Eating, Aren’t You…?

  I think everyone has holiday hangover, so my feelings aren’t hurt that there were no questions (unless you emailed them…we’re having an email issue this week because there’s a new computer and frakall in the way of memory to figure out what the password is. We’ll have that sorted very soon.) I hope y’all […]

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Ask Max Monday: Helping Paws on Thanksgiving
[ 4 ] November 23, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Helping Paws on Thanksgiving

Dear Max, Last year I was Thanksgiving Hooligan. While my human and teh Grandma prepared a traditional Thanksgiving feast, I committed several crimes including: stole a raw turkey wing and dragged it around the house knocked over a carton of eggs and broke most of them was caught twice standing in and licking a baking […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s A Bouncing Baby Book
[ 3 ] November 16, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: It’s A Bouncing Baby Book

DOOD!!!! IS IT TROO YOOVE GOT A NEW BOOK OUT???? DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS FOR CATS HOO THINK THEY MITE BE GOOD POETRY RITERS? I’M PRAKTISSING ALL MY NANTUCKET RIMES. Dood I totally DO have a new book! It’s called There Once Was A Cat From Nantucket… the Kindle version is already for sale […]

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After the Rapture Pet Care: SRSLY???
[ 2 ] November 15, 2015 |

After the Rapture Pet Care: SRSLY???

The concern over how to handle pet care back down here on earth post-rapture has spawned a business, and oddly enough, the business kinda sorta looks legit. After the Rapture Pet Care says they’ll place your kitty somewhere in its vast network of non-rapture-bound heathen volunteers for just a $10 fee. (Actually, there may also be […]

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Ask Max Monday: I Know, It’s Tuesday…
[ 3 ] November 10, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: I Know, It’s Tuesday…

Dear Max – WHY does the mom insist on calling me NICK-NACK-PADDY-WHACK? Oh. My. Bast. It’s sooooooooo embarassing! I mean, she calls my brothers stoopid names too, but for some reason they like that. One of them even comes running to her when she hollers “POOSIE!!!”. I don’t even look at her when she stars […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Queen Is Not Amused
[ 6 ] November 2, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: The Queen Is Not Amused

Mr. Max I like to watch TV too. I watch Big Cat Diary, and love to watch those spotted kitties. My problem is that when their chase toys run off the TV, I can’t find them. I have checked the floor, and even the side of the TV (in case they were stuck there). Do […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s Ok, I Like Woofies, Too
[ 2 ] October 26, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: It’s Ok, I Like Woofies, Too

Deer Mr. Max, I hope you don’t mind a question from a woofie. I’m a good dog I reely am. I came to this farm when I was just a puppy. There were 4 cats heer and they raised me to respect pussycats. I eat after the cats, I don’t chase them, I don’t bark […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’m Lonely Over Here
[ 7 ] October 19, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: I’m Lonely Over Here

Remember, you can leave a question for me right here in the comments, or drop me a line at askmaxmonday@gmail.com

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Ask Max Monday: LAPTOBERFEST 2015
[ 3 ] October 12, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: LAPTOBERFEST 2015

Deer Max Wez Canuck cats who iz sillybrating Thanksgiving soon an wez want to know iffin wez sneak out de space portal of disappearence to de Mew S A wez can have de turkey bird twice? Wez promise to be thankful Oakley & Sugar-Cookie Doods, of course you can! Thanksgiving in the USA is supposed to […]

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Ask Max Monday: Fall. Autumn. Fall. Autumn.
[ 7 ] October 5, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Fall. Autumn. Fall. Autumn.

Max, we are a singel-hooman household. She walks around here like she own da place. But we allow dat cuz she brings da stinky goodness. We lets da hooman have udder hoomans visit so she get enuff exersize and soshalizashins. We don’t want her to get feral or nuffin. How can we train her to […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Truths
[ 4 ] September 28, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: The Truths

MAX THAT LITTLE KROSSEYED KAT IS ALWAYZ STIKKING HIS BUTT IN MY FACE AND TRYING TO GIT LIKS FRUM ME SO I LIK HIM GOOD AND I APPREESHEATE THE OPPURRTOONITY TO SNIF HIS BUTT BUT HE NEVER LIKS ME BAK. KAN YOO TELL HIM HE NEEDS TO REESIPROKATE? HE WON’T LISSEN TO ME. He sounds […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’m Late and It’s All The Woman’s Fault
[ 5 ] September 21, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: I’m Late and It’s All The Woman’s Fault

Deer Max, I hope yoo can help me. The peeple have started taking me to the stabby place ware they kut off all my toenales… just win I git them good and sharp. I thot I had it all werked out that win the peeple got thoze mannykyoor sizzers out, I wood hiss and skratch […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s Hijinks. Hijinks I Tell You!
[ 8 ] September 14, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: It’s Hijinks. Hijinks I Tell You!

Max, I am a human and next month I have to get a radioactive treatment for my overactive thyroid (I hope I get superpowers.) The human vet says I have to stay away from pregnant people, small kids, and pets for about two weeks. I’ll be holing up in the guest room of the house […]

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Ask Max Monday: Pick a Winner, Stabby Guy
[ 4 ] September 7, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Pick a Winner, Stabby Guy

So here’s the thing, that Orinch Meniss that lives with all of us Meezers has to have some crap “plucked” from his nose. Seriously, he’s gonna let someone pick his nose for him. Just to make him breathe like a normal living…. thing. And if the nose picking doesn’t work, then they have to like […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Burrito Is Not Your Friend
[ 6 ] August 31, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: The Burrito Is Not Your Friend

HAY MAX WHY DO THEY CALL IT MENOPAWS AND NOT WOMENOPAWS? AND THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE PAWS SO WHY IS THE PAWS PART IN THARE? Well, when women reach a certain age, they get all hot and cranky, and the men in their lives annoy the ever-loving-KRAP out of them, and if they had claws […]

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Ask Max Monday: Never Take the Blame
[ 3 ] August 24, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Never Take the Blame

Hi there Max In a few weeks I’m going to turn one year old. My fur sister, Emily, says that this will make me officially not a kitten any more, she says that it’s time for me to “grow up, and calm down”, and “stop being such a little hell bat”. This doesn’t sound like […]

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Ask Max Monday: Cooties. Cooties Everywhere.
[ 2 ] August 17, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Cooties. Cooties Everywhere.

Hi, Max, This is Spider and Gracie’s human. Our cool summer has turned hot here, and these girls are horkin’ up furballs right and left and mainly next to the bed. Despite my best efforts at auxiliary grooming, the hairball fest continues, mainly because both of the ladies hate all pet brushes with a passion. […]

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Ask Max Monday: Dang, You Guys Made Up For The Silence
[ 10 ] August 10, 2015 |

Ask Max Monday: Dang, You Guys Made Up For The Silence

Dear Max – I like to sits behinds da fan dats on the floor in mai room – I dunno why… Moms thinks is funny and inpurresting – she calls it my White Noise machine.. do you know why I likes to do dis?? Kthanxbai Luv, Maudy Well, fans work by pulling air through back […]

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