Category: Ask Max Monday

Ask Max Monday: Oops, I Did It Again…

Deer Max How many chomps can youse give de woman fur de taco hat?  Iz dey allow to do dis type of thing to the rulers of de planet. Wez want to know de rules and regulations in case we wake up wid a taco on our heads Your fans Oakley an Sugar Actually, it’s […]

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Ask Max Monday: Oops

Ask Max Monday: Oops

HAY DOOD! WUTS WITH THE HOTS? HERE’S MY QWESCHUN: THE LADEY TOOK ME IN THE BIG SILVER MASHEEN THAT HAD ****AIR KUNDISHUNNING***. THAT IS BLOWY COLD AIR THAT I JUST COODN’T GIT ENUF OF. I WUZ REELY GETTIN IN TO IT CUZ WE DO NOT HAVE AIR KUNDISHING INSIDE OWR HOWSE. BUT THE LADEY STOPPED […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Sharing Edition

Ask Max Monday: The Sharing Edition

Mr Max I share my toys with my girl all the time, but when I play with her toys I get “No, no that’s mine” How do I teach her to share? Thanks Pippin Take your mighty paw and give her a good smack down when she refuses to share. Repeat as needed. Oh, it […]

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Ask Max Monday: Love At First Bite

Ask Max Monday: Love At First Bite

Max, when will your new book be coming out? We are still reading “Forked” cause my glasses need to be changed! We luv you! Jamie’s mom It might be a while. A lot of the next book is written, but just the vomit draft. So basically, there’s a story but it’s in the sheesh-this-sucks phase. […]

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Ask Max Monday: Forked

Ask Max Monday: Forked

Doods. Guess what? It’s my birthday month! Now, normally I don’t celebrate it a lot, but this year is a milestone year, because I turn 16 and that means I get a driver’s license. And since I’m an income-earning kitty, I figure I can buy myself a car. Originally, I thought I’d get a convertible, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Ice Burns, That’s Why

Ask Max Monday: Ice Burns, That’s Why

I need some help understanding my cat. He sticks his head under my hand so I assume he wants to be petted. I only pet him a few times because it seems like too many times results in him swatting me. When he plops himself on top of my newspaper, he can get irritated if […]

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Ask Max Monday: A Biker By Any Other Name

Ask Max Monday: A Biker By Any Other Name

Max dood, I want to go out, make Mommy let me out. Maybe I’ll find Billy out there? Naw, dood, you need to stay inside where there are no introoder kitties or dogs, or worse…VISHUS DEER. You’re gonna hook up with Billy one day, but don’t be in too much of a hurry. If you […]

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Ask Max Monday: All You Need Is…a Beatles Song

Ask Max Monday: All You Need Is…a Beatles Song

Hiiiiii Maxxxx!!!! It’s me, Harriet!!!! I was adopted by my mommy almost 10 years ago when I was 5 months old and and and guess what I discovered recently???? I discovered that lying on top of mommy in bed is really really really comfy and and and she gives me loads of petting and chin […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Art of Compromise

Ask Max Monday: The Art of Compromise

Max, I was getting lots of pets from my human last evening while I sat on his belly until the D-O-G came over & nudged her way between us. She gets jealous. I found it rude! What can I do next time to make sure she doesn’t do that? I’d try hissing and puffing up […]

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Ask Max Monday: Purrfect for a Woofy

Ask Max Monday: Purrfect for a Woofy

Dood, the mom says that’s some epic ear hair. But we heard that guys only get ear hair when they get old. Is you old? We don’t think so, so we think that it’s a lie. Also, the mom says that burrito looks like it could explode at any minute. Also, Miles farted in the […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s Been a 20 Day Week

Doods, it really feels like this week has been 20 days long. We’ve been slammed over here at Casa de Psychokitty, trying to meet a work deadline, and then trying to fix a major manuscript oops. So this week I bring you this: It’s a burrito the Man tried to suck down this week. He […]

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Ask Max Monday: Because It’s Not Tuesday

Hi Max! Say, the pawparrazzi have been crazy, crazy at my house – hiding around every corner! How do I keep them at bay at least while I’m bathing, napping & eating?! Every time they stick that camera in your face, attack. Jump on them while growling and hissing, and if you need to, stick […]

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Ask Max Monday: I.P. Freely (or…Think Outside the Box)

Ask Max Monday: I.P. Freely (or…Think Outside the Box)

Hi, Max!  Our beloved Bhu crossed the bridge in December and left us with broken hearts all around.  But last month we went to the humane society and found Daffodil, who was probably the least social kitty of the bunch.  Three years old, declawed, but cute as a button.  She is definitely weird, though (something […]

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Ask Max Monday: Oops

Ask Max Monday: Oops

MAX MAX!! Where is your column this week??? Inquiring minds want to know!! Dood, I have no idea what happened last week. If you’d asked me, I would have sworn I’d uploaded a column last Sunday night. Someone (and it had to be the Woman, because it certainly couldn’t have been me) had a massive […]

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Ask Max Monday: Cheese, Please

Ask Max Monday: Cheese, Please

Max, I just finished reading your poetry book. You dictate so well. I was crying by the end though, even though you probably don’t want that. How did the woman manage to type your poems as I assume she often took breaks to laugh or cry? The Woman has a cold, black heart and nothing […]

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Ask Max Monday: If You Give A Dog A Treat… (Maybe He Won’t Eat The Cat)

Ask Max Monday: If You Give A Dog A Treat… (Maybe He Won’t Eat The Cat)

Max…. Any idea where we can get kitty sized ear plugs? The mom says it is “football season” again when those guys on tv seem to take forever chasing a ball around a big green field. And man can our mom yell at the TV. THANKS Amazon. Amazon is the answer for everything. If they […]

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Ask Max Monday: If You Give A Cat A Box…

Ask Max Monday: If You Give A Cat A Box…

Deer Max – will there be a book signing anywhere near my house? Also, will mine boogerhead brother ever stop wandering around the house screaming his bloody head off about nothing? Book signings require that I leave my house, which I am generally opposed to, so…nope, don’t think it will happen. I’ll sign books, just […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s All About ME!

Ask Max Monday: It’s All About ME!

And why the heck not? ME. All ME. Dear Max, What did you do this week? Love, Max Well, Max, since you asked…this week my new book, THE EMPEROR OF SAN FRANCISCO was released! This is my first piece of fiction and I am very, very excited about it. Also, I am very, very nervous […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Truncated Edition

Ask Max Monday: The Truncated Edition

I’m sure you’ve told this story before, but how did you come to live with The Woman and The Man? Thanks. Gabriel’s Mom Long story short, I was kind of a rescue. When I was a tiny kitten I lived with friends of the Younger Human who couldn’t afford me, so he brought me home […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s The Hots. Run.

Ask Max Monday: It’s The Hots. Run.

new book huh?? concats! about this election thingy….when is it gonna end? the mom lady is using some new creative HBO werds that she says we aren’t allowed to repeat…which we don’t think it fair….and says it is all due to this election. Oh holy Cheetos, the election krap can’t end soon enough. We have […]

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