Category: Ask Max Monday

Ask Max Monday: Salute Your Shorts. Or Pants. Whatever.
[ 10 ] June 2, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Salute Your Shorts. Or Pants. Whatever.

OK, what is the meaning of life, the universe and everything? 42. And don’t forget your towel. Max dood, why is it NOT funny that when mommy brings in Billy from running outside, I runout and make her chase me then when she tries to put me inside Billy runs out again. We think its […]

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Ask Max Monday: Doods! Thanks!
[ 6 ] May 26, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Doods! Thanks!

Doods, thank you so much for all your suggestions for quality noms! The Woman took notes and went shopping, and she bought a couple cans of several of the brands you guys like, and we’ve been trying one a day. She doesn’t want to do more than that at a time, even though we’ve never […]

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Ask Max Monday: Noms. Canned Noms.
[ 28 ] May 19, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Noms. Canned Noms.

Ok, doods, this week it’ll be a little different. Instead of answering questions, I’m going to ask a couple, because you might have knowledge that my people don’t. They’re usually pretty intelligent, but all the info they’ve been reading has made their head hurt, so I felt like it would be a good idea to […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Thingy In The TV Goes Nom Nom Nom
[ 4 ] May 12, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: The Thingy In The TV Goes Nom Nom Nom

Hi Max – furst and formost me and my Meowme lubbs you! Nao – about 8 months ago I got a sister (I am 10 and I have been the master of ceremonies and the only cat – me and Mommy I like it that way.. then we moved in w/this man.. that was ok […]

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Ask Max Monday: Aw, Nuts…
[ 3 ] May 5, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Aw, Nuts…

Deer Max, I have anuther qweschun and I think yer the only wun hoo can anser: Kranky cat Mao told me that if I hike down the back bank to the trale in the forest, it wood leed me to the bus stayshun ware I cood buy a tikkit to Barstow, and that wood undowtedly […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Easter Bunny Is Alive And Well And Living in CA
[ 3 ] April 27, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: The Easter Bunny Is Alive And Well And Living in CA

Max, halp. Our food lady has a paw fetish. She wants to stare at our toe beans all the time, and even once tried to put them in her mouf, which is disgusting. Speshelly, becoz we spend so much time cleaning them. Granted, our fuzzy feets are irresistible, but what is wrong with hoomans? When […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Answer is Always, It Tastes Like Chicken
[ 3 ] April 21, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: The Answer is Always, It Tastes Like Chicken

Dear Max, I see you are giving out exercise advice now. I like to walk on the treadmill everyday since it is right next to my kitty climbing tree. How can I be sure to keep my perfectly fluffy shape? I don’t want to get too lean and mean, cuz chicks dig me just the […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Devil Is In The Details. And the toilet, too.
[ 3 ] April 14, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: The Devil Is In The Details. And the toilet, too.

Max, one of my kitties keeps getting outside and then she gets on the roof and hollers her head off for us to come get her. She’s supposed to be an indoor-only kitty, but she pops a window open and sneaks out. We always make sure the windows are locked (and child-locked) but sometimes someone […]

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Ask Max Monday: Just Eat the Chicken…
[ 5 ] April 7, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Just Eat the Chicken…

Max, is it okay to wake up our human at our alarm clock? As you know, uhm..our alarm clock is different from human Of course it is. If you don’t, they’ll just stew in their own rapidly decaying slumber-laden stink, and the longer they remain in it the harder it is for them to get […]

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Ask Max Monday: Jump! Ya might as well ju-ump…
[ 4 ] March 31, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Jump! Ya might as well ju-ump…

Max, what should I do if my cat misses his jump? Should I carry him to where he wants to go or would that be too embarassing? I have a rather clumsy orange kitty. Video tape him. Seriously. Just tell him he’ll be an Internet star if he lets you. He won’t mind. After that…if […]

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Ask Max Monday: You Are Your Own Alarm Clock
[ 2 ] March 24, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: You Are Your Own Alarm Clock

Max, our the mom is totally GROSS. We need to know how to retaliate from the unfortunate “chunk blast” that Sammy got in the way of. Yeah yeah, the mom will tell you that he was straddling the human litterbox while she was TRYING to NOT blow chunks on him and he would not move […]

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Ask Max Monday: A Moment of Zen. Or Nip.
[ 4 ] March 17, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: A Moment of Zen. Or Nip.

Max, we gots no spring here by Shikoggo. It’s still snowing and being crappy, and now the food lady is sick. When we sniff her mouf, it smells like coff drops and sads. She sleeps too late and sniffs a lot, and she needs a baff (we bofe tried to baff her, but she doesn’t […]

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Ask Max Monday: It’s Science, *1#%@$^ !!
[ 4 ] March 10, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: It’s Science, *1#%@$^ !!

Max… we has a physics question for you. How is it that foster kittens aren’t very big, but they sound like the thundering horde when they run down a hallway?? thanks – the random felines I think it’s due to compression factors. Kittens are composed mostly of cartilage, rubbery ligaments and tendons, copious amounts of […]

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Ask Max Monday: Yeah…Where’s Our Bling?
[ 5 ] March 3, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Yeah…Where’s Our Bling?

Max, we want to know when the right time is to tell the food lady she’s adopted. Spider, my sister from another litter, says she originally adopted the food lady many naps ago when she was “between houses.” Now she owns the food lady’s house, especially the sofa. (She reminds me of that often.) Anyway, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Climb Every Mount…Person
[ 1 ] February 24, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Climb Every Mount…Person

Dear Max, The food lady works from home 3 days a week. You’d think this would would be good news. After all, like the food lady sez, “Stinky goodness doesn’t grow on trees, girls.” We were hoping for all-day breffus buffay, more scritches, and more napping on the food lady’s legs and boobs. (Yes, you […]

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Ask Max Monday: Turning Tricks
[ 6 ] February 17, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Turning Tricks

Dear Max – something terrible has happened here. We have always enjoyed nomming on certain dry kibbles and certain canned stinky goodness. Well, the canned stinky goodness just sits and sits in the cabinet, and now we see that the bag for our dry kibble has changed. And it tastes like cardboard. Poor Nicky has […]

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Ask Max Monday: Hello Kitty Pillow
[ 3 ] February 10, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Hello Kitty Pillow

Oh wize guru Max, I have a question for you. Why is the human so stoooopid? It takes forever for the elder cat and me to get through to her! The Elder cat, Fudgie, sits on the back of her chair staring at the empty food bowl and flapping her tail into the woman’s face, […]

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Ask Max Monday: =sniff=
[ 7 ] February 3, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: =sniff=

I told Buddah I didn’t have any questions to answer this week. Now, I had expected him to suddenly ask me a bunch of questions, but no, he felt bad for me. Or maybe he felt bad because he invested his evening in watching the Superb owl. He was so disappointed when he realized it […]

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Ask Max Monday: Dear Me
[ 9 ] January 27, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: Dear Me

All right, dood, you’re twelve and a half years old now; you’ve gotten some quality living under your furry belt. Think back to the day you got your forever home. What would your current self tell your kitten self? ~Vader Dear Newby Max, Right about now you’re in the car of the Really Tall Guy […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Holes in a People’s Heart
[ 5 ] January 20, 2014 |

Ask Max Monday: The Holes in a People’s Heart

Hiya Max, it’s us again. I’ve been wanting to write and say thanks you for your good advices back 2 months ago when my sisfur Winky went to the Rainbow Bridge – we all thought you gave us some good ideas on how we could feel better and how to help makes the Mom feel […]

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