Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourselves and your human.
Miss Cuddlywumps: I am Miss Cuddlywumps, but I prefer to be called Miss C. I am a classically educated calico cat who is familiar with mysteries. I am the brains behind our blog, The Cuddlywumps Cat Chronicles, and I star in my own cozy mystery series, Miss Cuddlywumps Investigates. I am basically a genius. Our human is Sarah Andrews, aka Roby Sweet (her pen name), aka She of Little Talent or old SoLT (what I prefer to call her). She is my typist, and she has a credit card that I can “borrow” to buy things when I need to.
Real Cat Paisley: Miss C neglected to mention that she is not a real cat. I think sometimes she forgets, but she is totally fictional. That’s why me and Webster are called the Real Cats. I’m a Real Tortie, so technically I’m in charge no matter what. I mostly just have my picture on the blog, because I am the prettiest.
Real Cat Webster: Hi. I’m Webster. I’m real too, I think. Most people think I don’t do a lot, but I am an armchair linguist. I like to look up words about cats and tell what they mean and stuff. Me and Mommy write the “Words with Webster” feature on the blog. We try to do it every Friday, but sometimes I can’t think of a good word, so I just take a nap instead.
Funny Farmer Felines: If you have any furry siblings, please introduce them too.
Real Cat Paisley: There’s a dog. I like to scare it. So much fun!
Real Cat Webster: Her name is Layla, and she is a Labrador mix. I’ve tried and tried to make friends with her, but she won’t be friends. I think she doesn’t understand cats so much.
Funny Farmer Felines: How did you all come to live together?
Miss Cuddlywumps: I popped into old SoLT’s head one day when she was out taking a walk. She envisioned a mystery series with a classically educated cat (that would be me). She knew my name right away, but it was a long time before she understood that I am a calico. At first she thought I was a gray cat, then she thought I was a tabby … it was years before she got it right. Now you see why I call her She of Little Talent.
Real Cat Webster: How me and Paisley got here is kind of complicated. One night 12 years ago, our Grampa came home from work, and I was outside the house. He told our Grandma, and she brought me inside to show Mommy, who was in bed really early because she was still tired from some big thing she had to have so she wouldn’t have cancer anymore. Mommy loved me right away. I was getting along good with the three older cats in the house (Darya, CJ, and Tyler, who are all at the Bridge now), so I got to stay inside. The next day, Mommy was working on her computer, and I kept sitting on her Webster’s Dictionary, so she started calling me Webster. I really liked it at this house. Then Halloween came, and I sat at the top of the steps in front of the door because I liked to see all the kids. A few days after that, a man I sort of knew came to the door, and Grampa answered it. The man said his kids had been trick-or-treating at our house and saw me and I was their cat that was lost. And Grampa gave me to him!
Real Cat Paisley: This is where I come in. I was in a foster home, where they called me Myrtle. I came from somewhere in Pennsylvania, I think, but that part is kind of hazy. Anyway, Mommy and Grandma missed Webster so much they thought they needed another cat. So they came to an adoption event at Pet Smart, and they found me! That was the sixth time I’d been to an event like that, and no one had ever picked me before. When Mommy was holding me for the first time, she said, “This one speaks to me.” You know how sometimes you know right away that someone is meant for you? It was like that. And so I came home with them.
Real Cat Webster: Then, after I’d been back at my old house for a few weeks, Grampa happened to run into that man who came and took me away that day. The man said one of his kids was allergic to me, so they were going to take me to a shelter. Can you believe it??? But he asked if Grampa wanted me back, and Grampa went home and asked everyone else, and they said yes. They said it really loud, too. So I came back here that very day, and I am not ever leaving again!
Funny Farmer Felines: Tell us a little about the area where you live.
Miss Cuddlywumps: I live mostly in old SoLT’s head. In my books, I live in a little cottage in a tiny Maryland town called Brooksford. It’s a really nice town, except for the fact that people keep getting murdered. But solving the crimes keeps my mind sharp, so I don’t really mind that part.
Real Cat Paisley: We live in Maryland too, only in a real place that’s just over 20 miles outside Washington, DC.
Real Cat Webster: And we have a sunroom with a nice cat tree near the windows so we can look outside or take a nap in the sun. It’s pretty neat!
Funny Farmer Felines: Do you have any nicknames?
Miss Cuddlywumps: I am called Miss C. Anything else is wrong. Sometimes my person in my books just calls me Cuddlywumps, but I find that demeaning to my stunning intellect.
Real Cat Paisley: Mommy calls me Paisley Pie or just Pie.
Real Cat Webster: Mommy mostly calls me Boo. I’m also called Webster In The Way or Mr. In The Way, ’cause I like to be helpful when people are trying to do things.
Funny Farmer Felines: What kind of mischief do you like to get into, either separately or together?
Real Cat Webster: Well, I don’t think it’s mischief, but I really like to be around my people and check out whatever they’re doing. They say I’m in the way a lot. Sometimes I start a tussle with Paisley too. It’s fun!
Real Cat Paisley: I like to grab onto Mommy’s toes when she’s in the recliner with her feet up. She can’t see me coming, so it’s always a big surprise for her. I like the yelping sound she makes and how she jumps up real quick!
Funny Farmer Felines: What made you open a blog? Do you participate in any blogging events?
Miss Cuddlywumps: I started a blog about cats in history, mystery, and culture because I needed a creative outlet besides my books. I enjoy reviewing mystery books and researching the history of cats, which I think is an underexplored topic. Also, I thought old SoLT needed something to do, and this was perfect for her.
Real Cat Webster: I got hired for the blog ’cause Mommy wanted a Real Cat to do the words column, and I was the cat who would sit still long enough to get my picture taken with the word histories book. I didn’t even know I liked words! But now I do.
Real Cat Paisley: I’m on the blog because I’m the prettiest. I’m in Caturday Art and Sunday Selfies a lot (Webster is too), and I also do Friendly Fill-Ins sometimes. We’ve done Meow Like a Pirate Day, and this year we did Talk Like Shakespeare Day (that wasn’t a hop though).
Real Cat Webster: Don’t forget Cat World Domination Day! I was in that; I was going to eat the world! And we’ve done Dr. Seuss Day too. Hops are fun!
Funny Farmer Felines: Are you on any social media you would like to share with readers?
Miss Cuddlywumps: I’d better handle this question myself. My, um, assistants can’t keep these things straight. You may find us at the following places on social media:
Real Cat Webster: We hope you’ll come and visit us!
Funny Farmer Felines: You can visit Miss Cuddlywumps, Real Cat Webster and Real Cat Paisley at The Cuddlywumps Cat Chronicles.