Tag: ask max

Ask Max Monday: My Breakfast Was Late, Too…

Ask Max Monday: My Breakfast Was Late, Too…

Max, we have two friendly ferals outside, and I’d like to coax them inside. We’ve built a stairway to the 2nd floor balcony, and both cats use it. But, one cat doesn’t want to come in, and gets mad at the other cat if she does come in! Food (good, stinky stuff!), toys, love, warmth…none […]

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Ask Max Monday: Pucker Up

Ask Max Monday: Pucker Up

Max…. so we got a new addition. Only we think something may have broken in transport cause her head sits kind of funny. Mom says it is due to an ear infection the kitten had. We think we should sue the delivery company. What do you think? Random Felines Well, you could, I suppose. The […]

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Ask Max Monday: Sneaky Snacky Treats

Ask Max Monday: Sneaky Snacky Treats

Dear Mr. Max, I am Sterling and I am six months old. I got dopted from the shelter about a month ago by a nice lady. She gives me hugs and kisses (ick) and pets my cheeks just right. There is other cats here who are mostly OK one of them plays with me sometimes. […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Newby Addition

Ask Max Monday: The Newby Addition

How do you integrate a new cat into the household? We were adopted by a stray cat last weekend. Once we found out that none of the shelters would take in the stray, well, there was only one thing left to do, keep him. The vet thinks he is 5, and Knucks is 9 or […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Inside Scoop on Outside

Ask Max Monday: The Inside Scoop on Outside

Hey Max, I keep looking out the window and it looks interesting out there. I tried to sneak out the door but my mom caught me and said NO. I am an inside kitty only. But why? Why can’t I go outside? Dood. You don’t really want to go outside. There are rude introoder things […]

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Ask Max Monday: Total Eclipse of the…

Ask Max Monday: Total Eclipse of the…

Hey Max…. So the foster lady shut me out of the foster room and then ran the sucky thing and then moved some other kittens in there and now I can’t get back in there. OK – so when I was in there I kept running out, but I thought that was MY room. She […]

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Ask Max Monday: He Ain’t Heavy But I Want Him Off My Head

Ask Max Monday: He Ain’t Heavy But I Want Him Off My Head

Max – how come my mom keeps torturing me by putting something around my neck? I keep taking it off, and she keeps putting it back on. She says I’m not allowed to be nekkid yet. Why not? And why does goody-four-shoes Flynn not mind the torture device? Quinn People get weirdly obsessive about neck […]

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Ask Max Monday: Please Don’t Eat the Puppy

Ask Max Monday: Please Don’t Eat the Puppy

The IScream truck came by and the mom did NOT let me go out and buy any. I WANT ISCREAM and I think that, since I stole, um, FOUND a whole dollar bill I should be able to buy some. How can I make this happen? Dood. Save your dollars until you have enough for […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Scoop on the Poop

Ask Max Monday: The Scoop on the Poop

  Dear Max: My cat Ozzy is bored, and he expects me to entertain him. But he’s not interested in anything I suggest. Screened porch bird watching?(Too hot) Toys? (Boring) Catnip (Also boring) Ice in a bowl? (Been there; done that) Play with sister? (Eeeeewww!!!) He’s only 8, but he acts like a grumpy old […]

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Ask Max Monday: WE’RE SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER I THINK

Ask Max Monday: WE’RE SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER I THINK

Dear Max, Cood you wish my goofy sister from annuder litter Gracie a happy twelf birfday today? I turnt nineteen lass munf, and the Food Lady sez if I make it to twunny, she’ll let me visit a real live rotissery chukkin farm and eet anyfing I kech. Do you fink she’z pullin my leg? […]

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Ask Max Monday: IT’S A GIRL!

Ask Max Monday: IT’S A GIRL!

Hey Max Dood Mine brofur Sammy is sick – he has some sort of cancer on his tummy and it’s icky. The mom says Nicky and I has to leave him alone, but he WANTS us to chase him. He whaps me first. When we does, he leaves all his furs all over the house […]

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Ask Max Monday: ON MONDAY, Y’ALL!

Ask Max Monday: ON MONDAY, Y’ALL!

Hey Max – we just moved into this house and were stuck in a room. We heard another cat living outside of the room, but the tall lady person took him away last night and she didn’t bring him back home. Today, we’ve been allowed out into the rest of the house. Why didn’t he […]

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Ask Max Monday: Oops, I Did It Again…

Deer Max How many chomps can youse give de woman fur de taco hat?  Iz dey allow to do dis type of thing to the rulers of de planet. Wez want to know de rules and regulations in case we wake up wid a taco on our heads Your fans Oakley an Sugar Actually, it’s […]

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Ask Max Monday: Oops

Ask Max Monday: Oops

HAY DOOD! WUTS WITH THE HOTS? HERE’S MY QWESCHUN: THE LADEY TOOK ME IN THE BIG SILVER MASHEEN THAT HAD ****AIR KUNDISHUNNING***. THAT IS BLOWY COLD AIR THAT I JUST COODN’T GIT ENUF OF. I WUZ REELY GETTIN IN TO IT CUZ WE DO NOT HAVE AIR KUNDISHING INSIDE OWR HOWSE. BUT THE LADEY STOPPED […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Sharing Edition

Ask Max Monday: The Sharing Edition

Mr Max I share my toys with my girl all the time, but when I play with her toys I get “No, no that’s mine” How do I teach her to share? Thanks Pippin Take your mighty paw and give her a good smack down when she refuses to share. Repeat as needed. Oh, it […]

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Ask Max Monday: Love At First Bite

Ask Max Monday: Love At First Bite

Max, when will your new book be coming out? We are still reading “Forked” cause my glasses need to be changed! We luv you! Jamie’s mom It might be a while. A lot of the next book is written, but just the vomit draft. So basically, there’s a story but it’s in the sheesh-this-sucks phase. […]

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Ask Max Monday: Forked

Ask Max Monday: Forked

Doods. Guess what? It’s my birthday month! Now, normally I don’t celebrate it a lot, but this year is a milestone year, because I turn 16 and that means I get a driver’s license. And since I’m an income-earning kitty, I figure I can buy myself a car. Originally, I thought I’d get a convertible, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Ice Burns, That’s Why

Ask Max Monday: Ice Burns, That’s Why

I need some help understanding my cat. He sticks his head under my hand so I assume he wants to be petted. I only pet him a few times because it seems like too many times results in him swatting me. When he plops himself on top of my newspaper, he can get irritated if […]

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Ask Max Monday: A Biker By Any Other Name

Ask Max Monday: A Biker By Any Other Name

Max dood, I want to go out, make Mommy let me out. Maybe I’ll find Billy out there? Naw, dood, you need to stay inside where there are no introoder kitties or dogs, or worse…VISHUS DEER. You’re gonna hook up with Billy one day, but don’t be in too much of a hurry. If you […]

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Ask Max Monday: All You Need Is…a Beatles Song

Ask Max Monday: All You Need Is…a Beatles Song

Hiiiiii Maxxxx!!!! It’s me, Harriet!!!! I was adopted by my mommy almost 10 years ago when I was 5 months old and and and guess what I discovered recently???? I discovered that lying on top of mommy in bed is really really really comfy and and and she gives me loads of petting and chin […]

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