Tag: ask max

Ask Max Monday: Because It’s Not Tuesday
[ 2 ] April 17, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: Because It’s Not Tuesday

Hi Max! Say, the pawparrazzi have been crazy, crazy at my house – hiding around every corner! How do I keep them at bay at least while I’m bathing, napping & eating?! Every time they stick that camera in your face, attack. Jump on them while growling and hissing, and if you need to, stick […]

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Ask Max Monday: I.P. Freely (or…Think Outside the Box)
[ 1 ] April 10, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: I.P. Freely (or…Think Outside the Box)

Hi, Max!  Our beloved Bhu crossed the bridge in December and left us with broken hearts all around.  But last month we went to the humane society and found Daffodil, who was probably the least social kitty of the bunch.  Three years old, declawed, but cute as a button.  She is definitely weird, though (something […]

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Ask Max Monday: House Rule-Don’t Be Mean
[ 2 ] April 3, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: House Rule-Don’t Be Mean

um Dood, you scairt the crap out of me and I was not near the litter box. Who is going to help clean it up? Also, why do I haf to actually GET OFF THE BED at any time during the day? You have a people, that’s who will clean up the crap. I mean, […]

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Ask Max Monday: #7 Is The Lucky One
[ 1 ] March 20, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: #7 Is The Lucky One

Max, Dood, who does I need to talk to about getting some pigs to fly over mine house so that I can go down into the dungeon and eat the christmas wreath? It’s raelly very tasty but for some reason the mom wants to deny me this one simple pleasure in mine life, but apparently, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Next Week…
[ 2 ] March 6, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: Next Week…

All right, doods. I had to take this week off in order to step up an be a kitty nurse, a duty which I take seriously. The Woman is curled up in bed, spraying cooties all over the place every time she coughs, so I’m either sitting here watching, or I’m on the bed curled […]

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Ask Max Monday: Denial is Totally an Option
[ 3 ] February 13, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: Denial is Totally an Option

Dear Max, Iz a huge, long-hair kittay and my momz iz at her witz end with all the tanglez in my furz. She got a special comb thingy to get them out but they just come back. She tried rubbing me with a anti-cling sheet but it didn’t help much. Mom sez my furz is […]

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Ask Max Monday: ‘Cause This Is Filler, Filler Night…
[ 8 ] February 6, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: ‘Cause This Is Filler, Filler Night…

  Since there were no questions for this week, I present you with a picture of the Woman being…gawd, being herself. Perhaps it will help you understand what I have to live with. She did that in public, doods. And really, camo and hi-viz? Like what did she really want? To be invisible OR be […]

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Ask Max Monday: First Food O’Clock
[ 0 ] January 30, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: First Food O’Clock

Dear Max, Please stop telling the cats that breakfast should be served at 5am. Thanks, the mom No problem. Kitties. Heads up. Take note. First Food O’clock is not at 5 am. It’s really more like 4:45 am. And since it takes people a bit of time to wake up sufficiently to operate the thumbs […]

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Ask Max Monday: You Are Worth It
[ 4 ] January 23, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: You Are Worth It

Max, my cat doesn’t bite me, exactly, but he sets his teeth on me sometimes. Why? There are a couple of reasons why. 1-he’s warning you that he could bite, but he’s choosing not to. 2- he loves you and has no concept of what kissing really is. Or 3-he’s taste-testing you. I’d sleep with […]

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Ask Max Monday: No Butts About It
[ 5 ] January 16, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: No Butts About It

MAX!!! I think my peeple are WIKKINS! They lokt us in a room, and win we came out, the krissmiss tree wuz GON and thare wuz nuthin but a pile of needuls ware it had been. I think they used BLAK MAJIK to make it disappeer. Can they make US disappeer? And how menny sleeps […]

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Ask Max Monday: …Where No Man Has Gone Before… Kinda.
[ 5 ] January 9, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: …Where No Man Has Gone Before… Kinda.

OMG Max weer running out of time!!! They sed owr krissmiss tree is going away! We tride to nok it over, but we just made a bunch of balls go broken insted. So we nocked over the ficuss tree. It’s tiny, but thare wuz a LOT of wet blak dert that spilt onto the wite […]

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Ask Max Monday: HAPPY NEW YEAR DOODS!
[ 8 ] January 2, 2017 |

Ask Max Monday: HAPPY NEW YEAR DOODS!

Hello Max, Me and my human mommy binge watched Dr. Who all day and evening, too. I was nice and let her up to use the litter box room a few times, and to feed me. It was the BEST! Dr Who and treats all day and evening! But I have a question. How many […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Tuesday Edition
[ 1 ] December 27, 2016 |

Ask Max Monday: The Tuesday Edition

Are you related in any degree to our Baby Su? You do share certain character traits. Just sayin’. I might be. Who knows? As far as I know my parents were random alley cats who met while on a Nip bender behind the 7-11 at 4 a.m. I could be related to a whole bunch […]

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Ask Max Monday: Squish A Kitty Optimal Training
[ 3 ] December 19, 2016 |

Ask Max Monday: Squish A Kitty Optimal Training

Max, we chit you not, da hooman turns 40 dis week. She kinda slippin. Her brane seem a bit derpy. Any tips for caring for a old-AF hooman? How we make shur we git da house wen she ded? How we petishun for pawer of a-turny? Mos importint, do you fink we can lern how […]

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Ask Max Monday: Heads, You Win. Tails, You Win.
[ 3 ] December 12, 2016 |

Ask Max Monday: Heads, You Win. Tails, You Win.

Max Dood Can we talk about something that has been bothering me for a long time? Years in fact. The problem is this – My name is Miles Phillippe Meezer. NOT “Poosie” “Puddin” “Fatso” “Farty” “Master McBarf” or “Poosie” – yes I said that one twice because I think that the mom has totally forgotten […]

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Ask Max Monday: Kitten Gifting
[ 2 ] December 5, 2016 |

Ask Max Monday: Kitten Gifting

Max, whuts a tale for? My bruther thwaps his in my face then gits all hissy win I try to kill it. If its not fur playin or killin, whuts it for? Tails have many functions: to balance, show emotion, clear the bathroom counter, test the temperature of whatever the human is drinking, and my […]

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Ask Max Monday: California COOL
[ 3 ] November 28, 2016 |

Ask Max Monday: California COOL

HAY MAX HOW MUCH DID THEY PAY YOO TO WARE THAT TURKEEY HAT? I did it for free, dood! I mean, look at me. I AM STUNNING! And now everyone knows I mean business when I tell them to back off or I’ll wear their asterisk for a hat, because now there’s proof. Max i […]

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Ask Max Monday: Kitten Tongues, I Tell Ya!
[ 2 ] November 21, 2016 |

Ask Max Monday: Kitten Tongues, I Tell Ya!

how many more sleeps until Santa?? we are asking for a friend Not too many! Santa comes in a little over a month, so only 1,265 more sleeps! Max on the ballon idea, what about the Chinese lanterns you light and send into the night. I think those are more eco friendly I think those […]

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Ask Max Monday: Vote NO on Balloons
[ 5 ] November 14, 2016 |

Ask Max Monday: Vote NO on Balloons

hay max i herd you no evrything, so i haff an impurrtunt thing to ask. i just came to liv at a noo place. it’s nice. my brudder livs heer. i lived in a kupple udder places beefore this one cuz nobuddy wunts to giv blak cats furever homes. my brudder sez they’ll keep me, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Kitty Kolor 101
[ 5 ] November 7, 2016 |

Ask Max Monday: Kitty Kolor 101

Max, we teecht da hooman to fech. She almos got it figgert owt. She fro da mousie, we watch. She fro it agin and stare at us. We do nuffin. She run affer it. We watch. She get it, she say “here! ketch, kitties!” She fro it, we watch. What uvver triks can we teech […]

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