Tag: ask max

Ask Max Monday: The Impossible Question of How

Ask Max Monday: The Impossible Question of How

Hey Max, Dood, purlease explain to my peon/mama why looking out the front door 6ft to the west of my window seat is so important. I have to throw temper tantrums, everyday dood, in front of the front door for like 20 mins or until I get bored to get the door opened to look […]

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Ask Max Monday: What do, what do, what do…?

Ask Max Monday: What do, what do, what do…?

Dear Max. With a new season comes the eternal question as to what to wear, well for humans anyway. What stye tips can you offer the ill paid housekeeper, or general household labourer? Do you have any fashion preferences besides the super cool hat. Obviously we Tuxedo’s have the best attire, especially for dressing up, […]

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Ask Max Monday: Interviewish

Ask Max Monday: Interviewish

Max: how can you tell if something is mentally wrong with one of your sisfurs? She likes to go outside with the mom, she doesn’t like catnip or whipped cream, and she sleeps in the cat carrier. What gives?? There’s nothing wrong with her, she’s just different, and that’s kinda cool. It takes guts to […]

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Ask Max Monday: Salute Your (Rainbow) Shorts

Ask Max Monday: Salute Your (Rainbow) Shorts

Dood – how come my mom is stoopid? I mean, she can’t see me when I’m right in front of her and she calls and calls and calls mine name and then freaks out when I don’t show up. Because I can see her. Why can’t she see me? I mean, I am right in […]

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Ask Max Monday: Zzzzz

Ask Max Monday: Zzzzz

Please settle an argument for me: I say that pooping in the mom’s slippers took a lot of skill. She says it’s just gross. Who is right? Well, really, you both are. I mean, getting your asterisk over the opening in the slippers takes some wicked math skills, calculating trajectory and all, and success is […]

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Ask Max Monday: Mocking’s Not Just For Birds…

Ask Max Monday: Mocking’s Not Just For Birds…

Dear Max, Due to a mouse shortage in these here parts, of the live but soon to be beaded kind, what can I use to keep my hunting skils high and still get the fun of the chase ? Toodle pips and purrs Erin There are always things in a house that can be hunted. […]

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Ask Max Monday: Yes I Know It’s Tuesday…

Ask Max Monday: Yes I Know It’s Tuesday…

Max – apparently ceramic catmas treest DO NOT BOUNCE. I thought that because there was carpet it would. BTW – I gotted a gotcha day tree – it’s cat sized and PURPLE TINSEL. It does not taste good. Mine brofur is hafing an oper-way-shun on his tummy. How long should I wait until I chase […]

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Ask Max Monday: Strolling Into the Holidays. Kinda.

Ask Max Monday: Strolling Into the Holidays. Kinda.

Deer Max Dood, I LOVE CATMAS!!!! I love the trees and ornamints, and stuff all ofur the table. I especially love it on the floor. Apparently mine mom is a GRINCH and HATES me and HATES catmas. She WILL NOT get a tree. Again. Because she complains that I break everything off the tree, rip […]

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Ask Max Monday: ‘Tis The Season!

Ask Max Monday: ‘Tis The Season!

Max —- HALP!!!! I overherd the peeps I live with talking about NOT gitting a Crissmiss tress acuz they are tired of sweeping up broken ornamints. If I promiss them not to brake any if they git the tree, well, whut’s the point of even having one? I dunno why they hafta be so pissy […]

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Ask Max Monday: I’m Back!

Ask Max Monday: I’m Back!

My hooman has lerned to unerstand and speak cat purty well but, most hoomans don’t pay attention to what we say.  That includes dog hoomans.  My neighbor is a dogsund that hates to be put outside and left alone or left in the house alone; he keeps trying to tell his hooman and drives me […]

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Ask Max Monday: DO I LOOK HAPPY???

Ask Max Monday: DO I LOOK HAPPY???

DO I? I am not. There is a suitcase on the bed and the Woman has been throwing things into it. Pink things. Shoes. A water bottle. Candy bars. I know what this means. It means that she’s getting ready to head off to walk for the boobies again, and this time she’s taking the […]

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Ask Max Monday: My Breakfast Was Late, Too…

Ask Max Monday: My Breakfast Was Late, Too…

Max, we have two friendly ferals outside, and I’d like to coax them inside. We’ve built a stairway to the 2nd floor balcony, and both cats use it. But, one cat doesn’t want to come in, and gets mad at the other cat if she does come in! Food (good, stinky stuff!), toys, love, warmth…none […]

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Ask Max Monday: Pucker Up

Ask Max Monday: Pucker Up

Max…. so we got a new addition. Only we think something may have broken in transport cause her head sits kind of funny. Mom says it is due to an ear infection the kitten had. We think we should sue the delivery company. What do you think? Random Felines Well, you could, I suppose. The […]

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Ask Max Monday: Sneaky Snacky Treats

Ask Max Monday: Sneaky Snacky Treats

Dear Mr. Max, I am Sterling and I am six months old. I got dopted from the shelter about a month ago by a nice lady. She gives me hugs and kisses (ick) and pets my cheeks just right. There is other cats here who are mostly OK one of them plays with me sometimes. […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Newby Addition

Ask Max Monday: The Newby Addition

How do you integrate a new cat into the household? We were adopted by a stray cat last weekend. Once we found out that none of the shelters would take in the stray, well, there was only one thing left to do, keep him. The vet thinks he is 5, and Knucks is 9 or […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Inside Scoop on Outside

Ask Max Monday: The Inside Scoop on Outside

Hey Max, I keep looking out the window and it looks interesting out there. I tried to sneak out the door but my mom caught me and said NO. I am an inside kitty only. But why? Why can’t I go outside? Dood. You don’t really want to go outside. There are rude introoder things […]

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Ask Max Monday: Total Eclipse of the…

Ask Max Monday: Total Eclipse of the…

Hey Max…. So the foster lady shut me out of the foster room and then ran the sucky thing and then moved some other kittens in there and now I can’t get back in there. OK – so when I was in there I kept running out, but I thought that was MY room. She […]

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Ask Max Monday: He Ain’t Heavy But I Want Him Off My Head

Ask Max Monday: He Ain’t Heavy But I Want Him Off My Head

Max – how come my mom keeps torturing me by putting something around my neck? I keep taking it off, and she keeps putting it back on. She says I’m not allowed to be nekkid yet. Why not? And why does goody-four-shoes Flynn not mind the torture device? Quinn People get weirdly obsessive about neck […]

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Ask Max Monday: Please Don’t Eat the Puppy

Ask Max Monday: Please Don’t Eat the Puppy

The IScream truck came by and the mom did NOT let me go out and buy any. I WANT ISCREAM and I think that, since I stole, um, FOUND a whole dollar bill I should be able to buy some. How can I make this happen? Dood. Save your dollars until you have enough for […]

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Ask Max Monday: The Scoop on the Poop

Ask Max Monday: The Scoop on the Poop

  Dear Max: My cat Ozzy is bored, and he expects me to entertain him. But he’s not interested in anything I suggest. Screened porch bird watching?(Too hot) Toys? (Boring) Catnip (Also boring) Ice in a bowl? (Been there; done that) Play with sister? (Eeeeewww!!!) He’s only 8, but he acts like a grumpy old […]

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