It was such fun meeting and learning about today’s interviewees. They do not have a blog but they do have an Instagram account.
Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your human.
Taylor: Hello! My name is Taylor Swift (my mommy named me after the singer Taylor Swift, because I am also smart and talented. Actually, she named me T. Swizzle, but when daddy took me to the stabby place, he gave them my “legal” name, and it stuck). I’m two years, one month old. I’m a calico with a black heart on my left shoulder.
Funny Farmer Felines: If you have any furry siblings, please introduce them too.
Taylor: My sister’s name is April Paris. She’s my sister from another mister and another mama, my mommy says.
April: Bonjour! I think I only know a few words of French. My auntie says I might be fluent, but no one around here speaks French, so we may never know! When I came to live with mommy and daddy, I only had a first name, April. But mommy decided I needed a middle name, like Taylor has. They chose Paris, because my auntie lives in Paris, and I am very beautiful and sophisticated, like the city. I am two years, two months old. I’m a tabby with a stripey heart on my left shoulder. Mommy thinks I might be a tabby Siamese mix, because I love talking and I’m very athletic.
Taylor: We live with mommy and daddy. We just call them mommy, mama, mombee, daddy, hoomon daddy, daaaddeeee – I don’t know if they have regular names, like we do. They might be Honey or Sweetie, that’s what they always call each other! Sometimes daddy gets confused, and calls mommy Kitty.
April: We used to live with a fishee, Little Larry. When I first came to live here, I didn’t even notice him for a couple months, because I was still getting acclimated. One day I saw him swimming, and then every day I sat in front of his tank, and jumped up to see him swim! He was my best friend, but he crossed the Rainbow Bridge.
Funny Farmer Felines: How did you all come to live together?
Taylor: It was a dark and stormy night (literally). My daddy saw a kitty bouncing around the yard in the dark, cold and wet, and he called to me. I came up the porch steps, and peeked over the top step. He called me again, and I came over for skritches. I wasn’t wearing a collar, and I was very thin. When mommy and daddy went inside, I ran in and hopped on their couch! They didn’t know they wanted a cat until they met me, so daddy drove to the store to get supplies, and mommy named me before he even got home. I slept in their bed that very first night! The next day daddy took me to the vet, and the vet told him I was 5 months old, and full of fleas because I had been living rough. I didn’t get to sleep in the bed again for a few days, and had to take some baths! When I got bigger they took me to the stabby place, where they say I got “fixed” (but I was already fine, and didn’t need fixing, if you ask me) and I got a chip so if I ever bounce around someone else’s yard, they will know I already have a family. I used to be bored when mommy and daddy went to work, and especially loved biting ankles when they were home, so mommy and daddy thought I should have a sister. Entre vous, April!
April: I came from Southern California on a Wings of Rescue flight to Seattle Area Feline Rescue! I had a litter of kittens, and I was sick, too sick to stay with my kittens. SAFe and my foster family nursed me back to health, but I was still a scaredy cat. Then mommy and daddy saw my picture online, and they just knew I should be their kitty! When they visited me at the rescue, I wouldn’t even come to the front of my cubby to say hello, because I didn’t know them yet. But they just knew I would love them, and they were right! When I came to live here, I lived in the bathroom for a few days, then I lived in mommy’s office for a few weeks while I got used to everything. Taylor ate dinner outside the office door and I ate dinner on the other side of the door, so we got used to each other. Then Taylor would play outside the door, and I would play on the other side. After a couple weeks, daddy cracked the door and Taylor and I could pat each other, but couldn’t bite. Every day I got more confident, and sometimes Taylor would play in the office and I would check out the house. After a month, I was feeling very confident and Taylor and I got to meet face to face! We have been sisters ever since! Everyone is surprised we get along so well, but mommy and daddy read the Jackson Galaxy books, and introduced us slowly, and then got very lucky to have two such wonderful kitties that love each other!
Funny Farmer Felines: Tell us a little about the area where you live.
Taylor: We live in a three story house on a cul-de-sac at the edge of a small town in the Pacific Northwest. We have a yard in the front, and a big yard in the back with trees and flowers, so we like to watch the bird show outside. There are also squirrels to watch, and neighbor cats who visit our yard, so it’s always very exciting. I used to go outside on a leash, and I caught a snake once! Daddy made me let the snake go, and I wasn’t sure what I would do with it anyways. If mommy opens the sliding glass door in the back, I just like to sit in front of the screen and smell outside. And if daddy goes in the garage, I cry and cry even after he comes back, because I love to go in the garage. I think there used to be mousies in there!
April: In our house, we have lots of cozy places to take our cat naps. My favorite is the fuzzy blanket in the brown chair, then there’s the fuzzy blanket in the green chair, the fuzzy blanket in the box, the fuzzy blanket on the bed… I just love fuzzy blankies! I also like the couch – it isn’t fuzzy, but it’s big for stretching out on, and I love relaxing. We have two trees for cats inside, in case we don’t feel like sharing, but we’re very good at sharing.
Funny Farmer Felines: Do you have any nicknames?
April: My nicknames are April, Mama Goose, Pollyanna, Little Lamb (because sometimes I sound like a little lamb when I’m talking) and mommy calls me her Eternal Optimist. I am always sure if we go upstairs, it will be second dinner, or brunch, or elevenses! Even though it hardly ever is.
Taylor: Mommy and daddy call me T. Swizzle, Taylor, Taylor Smith, Tater Smiff, Terler, Tater Tot, Firefox (because I look like the logo when I curl up), Sweet Potato, Cinnamon Swirl Loaf (because of my colors, and I make a very good loaf), Pokeball (because I look like a Pokeball when I curl up – I guess you can tell I like curling up), The Wee Beastie, Stormageddon… I’ve lived here longer, so I have more nicknames!
Taylor and April (in unison): But together, we’re the Beastie Besties!
Funny Farmer Felines: What kind of mischief do you like to get into, either separately or together?
Taylor: Now that I have a sister, I’m not so into ankle-biting. But I do start biting mommy and daddy early in the morning, to wake them up. I wouldn’t call that mischief, more like a service! I’ll stand on one side of the bed, jump over daddy, and pounce mommy so she can wake up and get me breakfast. Again, I think it’s more of a duty than mischief – she would hate to sleep in, while her little kitties were hungry! I like to eat duct tape, string, aglets (the plastic thing at the end of the shoelace), paper (especially instructions and receipts – the more important, the better tasting!), ribbons, yarn, hairbands, plants – the more excited mommy gets about me eating a thing, the more likely I am to swallow it and not just play with it. This is also really a service, because mommy is always putting things away like she should, and not tempting me with them.
April: I don’t do any mischief!
Taylor: It’s true, she really doesn’t. She doesn’t even perform any “services”. Buuuuut, she likes to lick the armpits of daddy’s shirts –
April: Taylor! Don’t say that, that’s embarrassing! I can’t help it if they smell so delicious. I tried to lick his real armpits, but he wouldn’t let me. Oh! But that reminds me of another nickname, I’m his “Old Spice Girl”!
Funny Farmer Felines: Are you on any social media you would like to share with readers?
Taylor: pcharmed_im_sure on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ Pcharmed_im_sure/ is 70% devoted to April and me. Mommy also likes to take pics of what she and daddy made for dinner, but sometimes we’re in those pics too! (“pcharmed”, not charmed!)
April: We follow lots of kitties on Instagram, and keep in touch with SAFe there. My friends at the rescue like to follow what I’ve been up to!
Funny Farmer Felines: What is your greatest love and your biggest fear?
April: My greatest love is skritches on the couch. It used to be food, but now I’m sure I will always get enough food, sometimes I leave my breakfast unfinished to run downstairs and wait for mommy to sit on the couch and give me skritches. My biggest fear is the vacuum. Even the hand-held vacuum terrorizes me! I hide under the bed, or get in a cat tree until the coast is clear.
Taylor: Hmmmm, my greatest love is daddy. Sometimes he picks me up to show me what mommy is cooking, or show me what’s new in the garage, or just give me snuggles because I don’t just hop in his lap usually. Ooooh, the garage! That’s my second greatest love, with all the mousie smells. My biggest fear? I loathe loud noises, things falling, anything unexpected. I have epilepsy, and sometimes when I get startled I have a seizure! But sometimes I startle myself and have a seizure! When the seizures started, mommy and daddy never saw a kitty have a seizure before, and they thought I pulled a muscle. But I kept having them and they got worse, so I had to go to the stabby place a lot to rule out all the other things it could be. I tried different medicines with different doses, and saw a neurologist (which is like the stabby place, but they have different doctors) and now I feel better most of the time. I don’t go outside anymore, because it’s always too exciting. But I still watch it out the windows. The medicine I take now tastes like chicken, and mommy and daddy put it in my food twice a day, so I don’t mind it. Ooooh, the stabby place is definitely my second biggest fear! I take a chill pill before I go, because I can still be bitey. I’m sure you know, they put a thing in your butt there! It’s so embarrassing, it would make you bitey too!
Funny Farmer Felines: How would you describe yourself?
Taylor: We are both top notch snoopervisors. Mommy and daddy cannot go to the bathroom by themselves; they would probably fall in! I inspect many things, actually. Any time the kitchen cupboard opens, I get in and inspect everything. Mommy and daddy put baby locks on the sink cupboards, so I can’t inspect anything hazardous. I also like to help with the dishwasher and the laundry. I get up on the dishwasher door to make sure mommy loads it right, and I sit right in front of the dryer to make sure mommy does that right. When mommy and daddy gave their bathroom a makeover, I inspected the plumbing constantly. I don’t know how they got anything done before I got here! I am also gregarious and precocious.
April: I think I’m an introvert. I love, love, love my people and my sister, but I don’t like strangers. I like skritches on the couch, and when I’m done, I like to take a nap by myself or with my sister. I have a certain je ne sais quoi, and joie de vivre.
Funny Farmer Felines: If we were to ask your human mom what she loves best about you, what do you think she (he) would say?
April: Mommy and daddy both love how happy and sweet I am. Daddy says I make more biscuits than any kitty he’s ever seen. Mommy likes how I talk to her to tell her when it’s time for breakfast, or skritches or dinner. I try to give Taylor baths, because she is a little younger and a little smaller, and she reminds me how much I loved my baby kittens.
Taylor: Mommy and daddy both love my feisty personality and my smarts. When they say “Come on, let’s go!” I know it’s time for dinner and head upstairs. I have a toy strawberry I talk to and carry around. Sometimes she’s my baby, and sometimes she’s my prey. And sometimes I put her in my water dish when she needs a bath. Mommy and daddy have a yard stick that if they walk anywhere and trail it on the floor, I will follow them! They call it the stick of luring. When I was a baby, mommy used it to lure me out of the recliner – I had climbed up inside it from underneath! I talk to the little kitty in the bathroom mirror – I have lots to share I guess!
Funny Farmer Felines: Is there anything we missed that would pertain to you?
April: I would like to tell people to #adoptdontshop, because look how happy I am, and how happy I make mommy and daddy! And I would like to thank all my friends at SAFe, my foster family, Wings of Rescue and everyone who helped bring me here!
Taylor: It was very nice to meet you, and thank you for the interview! We love to meet new cat friends!
April: Oi! Merci beaucoup!
Funny Farmer Felines: Thank you, Taylor and April, for sharing your story. You certainly sound like well-adjusted, not spoiled in the least (* big smile*) kitties. If you are on Instagram, drop by to say hello. pcharmed_im_sure (that is”pcharmed” not charmed) on Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/ If you have a problem leaving a comment here for them, we have a comment form on our blog and we’ll pass along your message.
*** Come on, don’t be shy. All kitties have a story to tell and we’d like to share yours. Leave a comment with contact information on this Mousebreath post or on our Jan’s Funny Farm blog. We would love to feature you! ***