Ask Max Monday: Water is Wet. Film at 11.

Ask Max Monday

Dear Max, Why cats do not like water for recreation like swimming pools? I know that cats bathe very well and are very clean all the time.

But other than the chemicals why won’t they swim?

Because water is wet. Now, if you come up with some dry water, maybe we’ll think about it.

I have a question! Why does it seem like u r the only one blogging? Me and my sis would appreciate it if Buddha would blog a bit!

Buddah blogs when Buddah has something to blog about, and Buddah is so busy being Buddah that he doesn’t always stop to think about sharing his day with others. Besides, he needs help to blog, and the Woman has a lot going on with the writing that actually earns an income. On the list of things to get done, Buddah’s blog is down there a bit. We know it upsets people, but real work comes first, and then my blog, which is ahead of even hers on the list.

So, me and The Mom have this routine every night, errr, morning. About an hour before it’s time for breakfast (at about 1:45 heh), I jump off the headboard and divebomb her head a few times. She needs to wake up so that she can feed us. When the divebombing doesn’t work, I sit on her pillow and bite her hair while Tazo claws at the mattress. She says that this is really annoying, but it gets her out of bed every single time. Obviously our tactics work, but she gets mad about it. What’s her deal? How is this annoying?

She’s probably just sleepy, but honestly? She knows what time you’re going to wake her up. She should go to bed earlier. If she did that she would al refreshed and would probably wake up on her own and feed you with a smile on her face!

Why is it a bad thing that I open the mom’s fridgerfrator that’s next to the bed? Shur, I know it has something called Insulin in it, but it’s COLD and I gets HOT and I need to cool off. She gets HOT too but all she does is throw off her covers, I cannot throw off mine fur. Please tell me I’m not bad.

You’re not bad, not at all. Clearly, your mom needs to buy you a floor-level air conditioner for your I-Am-Hot-Dangit needs. If she did that, you’d leave the insulin box alone and everyone would be happy!

If a cat poops in a litterbox and no one’s around to sniff, does it stink?

I hope so, because I work really hard at getting a nice, lingering, overwhelming stink when I poop. I want it there for hours, just so the people enjoy it later if they’re not home when I drop it.

Hi Max !
I am not sure if this is where I ask a question…
My kitteh, Maudy.. he sometimes puts a toy or two in his water dish (granted, one of his toy baskets is right by the water dish) – why does he do that? I think it’s so adorable, and take a photo when he does it, but I just wondered if he did that b/c the toys need a drink, or bath or just want to take a swim – of if he is displeased with something.
Can you help?
Maudy’s Mom

He’s just baptizing them in the name of Ceiling Cat, making sure they get to go to the rainbow bridge when it’s time. For reals.

Dear Max, so my toy mousie got in the baffroom trashcan on accident so I had to knock it over and dig him out so he wouldn’t get frowed away. Mom was okay with that but she not okay with my knocking it over and digging in it every day now. In fact I has had spankings, time outs, water boarding, l’ectrocution, iPaw taken away, no ‘llowances, no dinners, and all sorts of punishments. I don’t like that so big cat Jack said don’t do it when mom and dad are around. So when they were gone I went into the baffroom up to the trashcan and PSSSSSTTT!!!!… magic air sprayed on me and I had to run away. How can that happen when mom and dad not eben home?! Is it like special mom magic?

Hahahaha, yep, that’s Special Mom Magic. She put a curse on the can so now it hisses at you. If I were you, I’d be extra nice to her, because if she wants to, she can probably turn you into a dog. Or worse…a sticky person.

Dear Mr Max,
I do have a question I wonder about and last night it got serious again. When I sleep and dream, I twitch alot and sometimes talk. The lady has no problem with this, although Fudgie (the elder cat) claims I must be part dog. Shes mean that way. The real problem is that sometimes I attack in my sleep and wake up suddenly with my claws in someone. Mostly the lady. Last night it was only my back claws as I was attacking Fudgie and I learned to keep the fronts in, but I did a three point landing on her arm from a cuddled up ball between her legs in under half a second. One of the backs dug in. I was so embarassed! Am I going to outgrow this? I’m already a big mancat at 16 months old. What do you think?
PS. Fudgie won’t let me sleep with her. Not even if I give her head bumps.

I dunno, dood. Buddah is 8 years old and he still talks in his sleep a lot, and he gets all twitchy like he’s about to start running. If you’re really hurting the lady in your sleep, she might want to consider putting something like Soft Paws on your claws. Otherwise? Don’t worry about it. It’s not abnormal or anything and you’re not doing it on purpose…but dood, it doesn’t mean you CAN’T do it on purpose If someone annoys you, wait until you’re “asleep” and then have at ‘em!

hay max i have a qweschun why duz that old old old kranky Simeezer I live with wunt me to klime into a kardbord box so he can tape it up and male me to you so I can be a boil on yer butt insted of hiz?

Dood, it would be awesome if you could come here, but the greater chance is that I would eat you before you could squeak out Wait I’m the Summer Intern and you love me! And if I didn’t eat you, Buddah would. I think your kranky roommate there is just jealous that you’re all young and studly while he’s…not.

2 thoughts on “Ask Max Monday: Water is Wet. Film at 11.

  1. Max, two of my kiities like to open windows and sneak outside. One willjust sit on the outside sill and sniff at the air, but the other one roams around (we’ve caught her sitting in the garage). I’m thinking of getting them leashes so they can go out with snoopervision. Any suggestions?

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