Two years after (almost to the day) our dearest Spider crossed the rainbow bridge, she sent Gracie and me a new friend. It’s a boy, a middle-aged meezer dude! His origin story is as fuzzy as his toe bean sprouts and apparently he’s recovering from his years on the streets (after some help from a very generous vet clinic). He lost his tail and a fang, but not his sense of humor. He is a hugger, not a fighter, and he has a lot to talk about. A LOT. Not only has he pledged his love to me, he follows Gracie around. And much to my surprise they’ve bonded over polite meows, butt-sniffing, Bird TV, and catnip-filled fishy toys.
Anyway, I’ve never had a meezer, although I’ve made the acquaintance of many. I know you know a meezer or two, and I know a meezer or two writes into this column on occasion. I was hoping to get some meezer advice as he is a lovely, lovely guy, but a bonafide weirdo, the good kind. What’ll make him supremely happy? His name is Quincey. He is a goodboi and I’m so glad he’s finally got a warm bed.
MEEZER DOODS! Chime in! What will make Quincey and super happy Meezer???
I mean, aside from real live fresh dead steak and shrimps. That’s kind of a given.
Oh, and crunchy treats. That’s a given, too.
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Man, I just finished your last book waiting to inhale! When’s the next one? I look like Lux all white and stuff, so is he in it? Or can you do a whole Lux book?
Dood, I’m glad you seem excited about it. The next one is another Wick Shorts and LUX IS IN IT! It’s slated for August, so keep an eye out. The title is “No Matter the When” and I promise, you’re gonna love the Wick & Lux story.
I’m not sure I can do a whole Lux book, though I won’t rule it out. Maybe someday I can do a one-off of something from his point of view. I’d need to learn a lot more words first. He’s kinda smart…
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Doods! It’s June! That means it’s my birth month!
The people don’t know exactly what day I was born so they picked the 20th, but it could have been anytime from around the 5th on. Maybe even as early as the first.
So, we’re declaring it MAX’S BIRTHDAY all month long.
I AM NINETEEN NOW, GUYS!
Remember when I turned 16 and got my driver’s license? The people honestly didn’t think I would see 17, but then the stabby person did her stabby things and declare my thyroid to be 3 kinds of hyper, told them what to do, and voila. I’m still here.
Now, there was a bit of a scare a couple weeks ago, but other than that, I’m still doing fairly well and annoying the Woman at every opportunity. I look a little ragged, which is okay because now she calls me her Raggedy Man, which is what the 11th Doctor got called a lot, and there are days I am so picky about my food that I don’t eat enough. But I do eat. And I bug them for tasty things when they have it.
Like yesterday or the day before, there was chicken of the Kentucky Fried variety. You bet I got some of that. I made sure of it.
All month long, you need to eat all the good things, enjoy all the sun puddles, and celebrate with me, because that’s what life is. It’s amazing.
Even if the people are STILL home 99% of the time… =sigh=
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Got a question for me? You can leave it in the comments or email me at askmaxmonday -at- gmail dot com.