Hi Max, Mahm sez I make a better door than a windo. Wut duz dat mean?! (Dis jennerly happen in bed rite befor she deeside I dont get to sit on her buhk or nekk or teevee stan no more.) Fanks, Gracie
It means you’re fat, dood.
Large and in charge.
A Chonky Kitty.
Don’t take it badly; I am too. Ok, well, I was, now I’m kinda skinny on the back and and tiny-chonky on the front, but I remember the days of being told exactly that, and I OWNED it. Go ahead, get in her way! Make her work to see the TV or her book!
LIFE IS CHONK!
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Hi Max! My name is Skittles and my Meowme is itching to cut my nails something awful. I don’t like to be picked up – I will snuggle next to her and let her pet me – but as soon as I feel that she is trying to sneak her way into holding me – I bolt — faster than lightening – and I am very strong. Truthfully, my nails are too long – and I don’t want to hurt my brother Winter when we play (he also has nails – but he lets Meowme cut them). We have only lived here for 8 months – so we are still kinda new. When do think a good time would be to get my claws clipped and how can I get over my phobia of being picked up?
Do you make that clicky clicky clicky sound when you walk? Are you catching on furniture and people clothes? Do people grunt “ow” when you walk across their faces in the middle of the night?
If yes, then it’s time.
Some kitties never like getting held, and in that case it’s worth paying the stabby people to do it. That might even be a good way to test out a new stabby place—if they’re super nice about clipping claws and listen carefully to why you hate it, they might be a good candidat for your other stabby needs.
Now Buddah, he HATED getting his clipped. Like, the Man had to sneak up when he was asleep and get one or two, then wait another day to clip another. But in the last year, he’s let them do it if they adhere to his rules: he has to sit on the Woman’s lap like he’s a two year old sticky person, and she has to plant lots of kisses on his head while telling him he’s a good boy, and while that disgusting display is going on, the Man can clip his claws.
It’s disturbing, really.
But maybe your Mom can help you learn to like getting held. Like, pick you up for a short hug, then give you a treat. Later, another hug, then a treat. If she builds on it, you might decide it’s okay as long as you get a treat after. And if you let her clip your claws, you get ALL the treats.
I don’t like it no matter what, but I only have back claws and the Woman holds me tight enough that there’s not much I can do except growl. And I do, I growl the whole time, but the Man is quick about it.
I haven’t bit anyone over it.
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Oooh, sounds like I need to move to Costco land, for sure; where is that exactly as I can’t see it on the map of upper Much-Mousing? As to the Big S, I know he will have his paws on circumstance and will drop in where most needed.
Oh, dood, Costo is EVERYWHERE. Google it, like, “Costco near me” and you’ll find it. Chances are, it’s right off the Interstate, right between Lots Of Food Things and Lots Of Other Shopping. It might be labeled under “Consumer Nirvana.”
Oh, and I’m told a churro at the food court is a must.
I don’t even know what that is, and I want one.
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Friend Max, As you and your human love the Dr. soooo much, has she gotten you any Dr. Who computer or board games yet? If she hasn’t, check them out at Legacy Games. I bet you could have lotsa fun with them. …your friend Gracie.
THERE ARE GAMES??? Why did I never know this?
Oh, yeah, I don’t get as much time on the computer as I like. We do have Doctor Who Monopoly (2 sets, I think, which is funny since WE NEVER GET TO PLAY.)
I can’t complain too much. We do have a lot of really cool Who things in our office. That might have to suffice, since the people don’t play games that often.
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CHONK IS LIFE, DOODS.
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