Ask Max Monday: First, you blog…

We hope this isn’t a problem but we want to ask a question anonymously. Our mom just found out she has a alien growing inside of her. It is still early but she is worried about us jumping and sleeping on her tummy. We think purring is good for everyone but with one of us being 20+# there is a worry. Second, what does this mean for us. We are hearing stuff like have to teach them. Watch them carefully, keep there claws trimmed. They are planning on extra snuggle for us Daily though and Dad is not happy about cleaning the box.

Your mom should understand that thousands of wimmens with kitties incubate sticky little aliens every year, and it turns out just fine. Just explain to her that as the alien grows in there, you’ll just KNOW you have to take extra care to not jump on her tummy. You might give it headbumps once in a while and snuggle close to purr for it (because that’s important, purring for the blurpy thing before it gets here…it can hear you, you know…) but you’re not gonna hurt her. And you’re not gonna hurt the wee one. Sure, you’re gonna get your claws trimmed more often, but that’s such a small thing, not even worth worrying about.

What it means for you? Doods, it means everything is gonna turn upside down in a few months and you might not get as much attention as you want, but in the long run it’ll be a good thing. Oh, and you’re gonna need lots of high places to be able to get away from the newby. Not right away, but after a few months those things learn mobility and with mobility it’s suddenly like OOOH! KITTY TAIL! PULL PULL PULL and you’re gonna need to be able to get higher than he or she can reach. So tell your people to start looking for ways to give you plenty of UP.

Oh, and poop lots for the Dad. He needs to start getting used to cleaning…stuff…up.


funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

How did you get Internet famous, Max? I want to be Internet famous!

First, I started a blog. Then, everyone read it and realized I was awesome, and told their friends, who came by to read it and agreed about my awesomeness. So I guess, start a blog and be awesome.

HAY MAX I SAW A REELY CUTE KITTIN IN THE NEWSPAPER IN THE SHELTER SEKSHUN AND MAN WAS SHE HOT I CAN’T STOP THINKIN ABOUT HER! AND NOW I WANT TO GIT A KITTIN CUZ I NEED TO REBILD MY HARUM BUT THARE IS A CAT IN THIS HOWSE HOOZ NAME RIMES WITH COW HOO SED IT IS SIK TO BE IN LUV WITH A KITTIN AND I JUST DON’T UNNERSTAND. SINSE YER THE WIZEST CAT I KNOW AND I TRUST YOU MAYBE YOO COULD TELL THAT CAT HOOZ NAME RIMES WITH COW TO SHUT HIS PIE HOLE AND KITTINS ARE OK TO FALL IN LOVE WITH.

Dood. DOOD. It depends on how old the kitten is. I mean, if she’s older than six months, then she’s old enough to get spayed, so it makes sense that she would be fair game for drooling over. Maybe even as young as four months, because those girl kitties mature earlier than the boys, and they start getting all bow-chikka-bow-wow right around then. So, sure, any kitten older than around four months would be harem-worthy. But man…any younger, and you’re just looking at kitty porn.

Oh Max, I have the hots! What do I do?

Well…either sit on some ice, or pay Tripper a visit. How old are you?

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