Ask Max Monday: Getting Rid of the Riff Raff

Hey Max, do pesky foster kittens taste like chikkin?

No, man, they taste like marshmallow fluff and butterscotch wrapped up in peppermint and kyootness. I don’t recommend you try to find out for yourself, though, because it’ll just give you the diabeetus.

cat selling dog on craigs list

We have a dog. How much can I get for him on Craigslist do you think?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t think you can get much of anything. I mean, it’s a dog. There’s no real resell value in dogs. If you don’t really want the cold hard cash, you could probably find someone on CL who will take him for free, but I don’t think you want to do that.

Now, don’t get bent. Hear me out.

Dogs get into things. Lots of things. Some of those things are things YOU want to get into but don’t want to get into trouble over. With a dog in the house, you can get away with a ton of things, and dood? YOU CAN BLAME THE DOG!

Why would you want to get rid of that kind of potential? Just think of him like a younger brother, one who can’t talk yet and whom everyone will believe does all the things you want them to think he does.

Truly, he is more valuable to you than anything you can get on Craigslist. Plus, if an intruder cat gets in somehow, he will totally eat it for you.

How do I get rid of the new kitten?

Dood. Have you heard of Buddah? My so-called brother kitty? If I never figured out how to get rid of HIM, I don’t think there is any getting rid of kittens. Besides…read the question up above. He might be as useful to you as a dog. Work it right and he takes the blame for everything. And man, that’s just a beautiful thing.

I don’t like bacon.

Dood. I just…I…there’s something very wrong with you.

How many more sleeps until Santa?

You’re welcome.

7 thoughts on “Ask Max Monday: Getting Rid of the Riff Raff

  1. bacon…mmmmmm

    As to that first guy, we don’t recommend eating foster kittens. We hear they give you indigestion. Plus, Junior tried to eat one of ours the other day and mom yelled and Junior got put in time-out. Just sayin’

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