Hey evrybuddy, Skeezix heer.
Today I’m gonna talk to you about Fashion Foe-Paws.
Foe-Paw is a Frenchy werd that meens Fashion Dizaster. And despite the fact that cats have an innate fashion sense, sumtimes they fall pray to fashion foe-paws. Like the cat in the orange owtfit above.
This fashion foe-paw is so big, he should have bin cordoned off with yellow crime seen tape. Now, maybe the poor cat is blind and his bruther plade a meen trik on him by dressing him up this way. But I don’t think so. I think he tride to make a fashion statement, and that statement is, “I shoodn’t be alowd to dress myself.”
But it’s not too late for Tiger to lern how to be a fashion icon like me. Heer are my pointers:
- If yer a stripey cat, you shood never ware stripes. It makes the eyes get all googly.
- Cats never look good in capri pants. They come off looking like floods. And they tend to make you look shorter and fatter than you reely are. No cat needs that.
- If yer gonna ware it anyway, ware it like you OWN it. A look of confidinse can go a long way toward silensing yer critics.
- Unless yer a) A prizzin inmate; b) A skool crossing gard; or c) doing community serviss by pikking up trash at the side of the rode, don’t ware that pawticularly garish shade of orange.
- Paying for custum taylering is always munney well spent. The sholder seems on this owtfit are praktikly down to yer elbows. Altho most cats wood be blinded by the garish orange color and not be able to see how sloppy that makes you look.
- The suksess of most kyoot owtfits lies in yer ability to aksesserize. Withowt aksesseries, you look haff-nekkid. A nice kravat or fedora mite have saved this look.
Tiger, I’m not trying to dis’ you. We’re all frends heer. But I hope theeze pointers will help tranform you frum flood victim to fashionista.