Mickey Mantle, notuble for his services as doorman at the Hotel Harris on Lon Guyland, has gone to The Bridge. He is survived by his brudders Jeter Harris, Matsui Harris, and that stoopid kitten Joba.
His dad, who loved him vary much (EVRYBUDDY loved Mickey) rote his obituary:
“At 2:37 today…on one of the absolutely, unequivocally saddest days in U.S. history (and I’m referring to the elementary school massacre in CT.),Mickey Mantle (Mick-The-Cat)…our gentle, 16 year old pussy cat, was shut down for good.
He couldn’t walk; he stopped eating…and he just let us know that he was done. The cat that woke me up every morning at 2:30 to let him outside…and who would climb on top the roof at 5:00am and yap until I would let him in our second story bathroom window…and with whom I shared EVERY meal I ever ate at our kitchen table…is gone.
It’s hard to believe that he was running all over the neighborhood every night only two months ago…and then deteriorated so quickly. Hyper-thyroid, kidney and congenital heart disease finally wore him down.
Mick was the sweetest of all the cats we’ve ever had. I never saw him get angry; I never saw him hit anybody…human or cat. Had he been a human, he would’ve been a gentle man like my Dad, Murray, or my Father-in-law, Irving.
I just can’t believe he’s gone. I buried him next to his best friend, Whitey (Ford) at the end of our yard on a hill overlooking Manhattan.”
I met Mickey win me an The Food Lady stade at the Hotel Harris ware Jeter Harris also lives. The Food Lady adored Mickey cuz he wuz the only one of the Hotel Harris cats hoo liked her and she took that vary purrsonally.
Mickey werked evry day of his life as the doorman at Hotel Harris. Whenever you pulled into the driveway, thare he wuz, waitin for you. When he wuzn’t werking his shift, we’d hang together or nom together. Man, I can shur remember win his Mom wood git mad cuz he wuz kind of
a sloppy an enthooziastik eater and he always got the grout derty. An boy, you can’t beleeve how derty he got the grout until you saw it fur yerself.
We are vary sad and send our condolenses to Mickey’s famly. We love you guyz and we will miss seeing Mickey sitting like one of thoze Bukingham Palace gards on yer frunt porch.