Mancat Monday is very speshul this week, cuz I am going to share with you one of my faverite mancatliest mancat holiday tradishuns with you.
At this time of yeer, one of the mancatliest things you can do (besides watchin’ football in yer mancat mancave) is to snoopervise the putting up of the Krissmiss lites. This is a fun and entertaining way to spend an afternoon.
The ferst thing you need to do is inspect the lites closely, as I am doing in the top foto. Smell ’em to make shur they don’t have cat pee on them becuz no matter how carefully you pack stuff away thare’s always a Mao in evry house who will douse ’em in pee before they go into storage. Then when the lites git ternd on, yer hole nayberhood will smell like cat pee.
You also wunt to make shur the bulbs are all berning brite. And that you don’t have two of the same colors in a row. That’s a BIG no-no. (This point is moot if yer lites are all wite, or just one color.)
When you see sumthing is rong, then you yell at yer assistant — the one who has akshully got oppozable thums and is putting up the lites. Here I am yelling at my assistant:
What the Mancat Shood Yell at the Assistant
Here is a list of things you can tell yer assistant wile he’s putting up the lites:
1) They are too saggy in the middle, thare.
2) It should be red-green-white-yellow-blue, NOT red-green-yellow-white-blue.
3) I think that one’s blinking off. Nope, now it’s on. Wait, it blinked off again. Nope, false alarm. (You can keep that up for about an hour.)
4) The one lite at the top is pointed in not out. Better get the ladder back over heer.
5) Time for eggnog.
When you snoopervise, you need to keep an eagle eye on yer assistant to make shur they don’t goof up. Or off. Snoopervising is hard werk.
You will find that snoopervizing the putting up the Krissmiss lites is a treasured tradishun that you and yer peeple can look forwerd to evry yeer. Win you git good at it, you can graduate to helping dekerate the Krissmiss tree.